FADE IN:

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT

WILL SMITH munches his way through the opening credits and is suddenly approached by JAMIE PRESSLY.

MARGOT ROBBIE

What? No no, I’m a completely different actress, despite looking and sounding exactly like Joy Turner.

WILL SMITH

Well you need to scoot before my co-star Kristen Stewart gets here.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Uh, yeah, she dropped out so I’m taking her place.

WILL SMITH

Really? Phew! Bullet dodged.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Let’s say we continue this conversation in your hotel room with my tongue down your throat.

WILL SMITH

Sold!

WILL and MARGOT start making out when a GUY WITH A GUN bursts in and unconvincingly threatens to shoot WILL.

WILL SMITH

You’re not going to shoot me. I knew this was all a setup because I am a master con-man. Margot, you were terrible. In A Haunted House 2, I mean.

MARGOT ROBBIE

I’M NOT HER!!!

MARGOT goes looking for another RUBE to con when she realizes she is being stalked by WILL.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Please show me how to be a master thief like you.

WILL SMITH

No.

(pause)

Okay. I will flirt with you while teaching you how to steal shit out of other people’s pockets by stealing all of YOUR shit out of your pockets.

MARGOT ROBBIE

(swoons!)

You’re so charming! And that 3 minute lesson was all it took for me to become a master thief. Now let me into your club of organized thiefdom.

WILL SMITH

No.

(pause)

Oh alright.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Wonderful! So what exactly is this movie about again? The trailers weren't really, you know, FOCUSed.

WILL SMITH

Well I'm a con artist and you're my protege and we're going to steal something or other.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Would it by chance be a coherent plot?

WILL SMITH

Doubt it. To Louisiana!

EXT. NEW ORLEANS

WILL introduces MARGOT to his crew.

BRENNAN BROWN

I’m the exposition guy.

ADRIAN MARTINEZ

I’m the overweight comic relief.

WILL SMITH

And those are the only two members of my vast organization of underlings you need to know. Now go out there and rob a bunch of tourists in plain view of anyone with working eyeballs.

WILL’s crew works the crowd and somehow NO ONE notices all of the wallets and purses being tossed through the air.

MARGOT proves herself to be the best of the bunch by effortlessly stealing all of the shit right out of everyone’s colons without them knowing.

WILL SMITH

Well done Margot, you have earned the right to learn crucial backstory about me. You see, my dad and grandpa were also con artists, but one day they got caught so my dad shot my grandpa in order to prove they weren’t a team.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Surely that story won’t have any relevance to the film’s climax.

WILL SMITH

None whatsoever.

(wink!)

Now if you excuse me I’m going to turn down your sexual advances to go sleep in my bed alone where absolutely no sex will be had.

MARGOT ROBBIE

YOU WHAT?! But I’m an attractive young woman and I’m clearly staring at you with “fuck me” eyes! There’s no excuse why we aren’t gnawing each other’s underwear off right now.

WILL SMITH

As I have stated publicly a million times, Hollywood believes audiences just aren’t ready to see this type of romance on screen. Sorry Margot, your boobs must go unfondled.

MARGOT ROBBIE

While you were talking I stole your penis out of your pants and hid it inside my vagina.

THE SOUTH

(explodes!)

INT. THE WILL OF THIEF STREET

WILL and his literal ARMY OF THIEVES have robbed half of the country blind and sold the hot merchandise to the other half.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Oooh! A pretty yet strikingly tacky necklace! Can I keep it?

WILL SMITH

No, we must fence everything we steal. This is just one of the many con artist rules I will establish and then undoubtedly break.

BRENNAN BROWN

Will, we made over a million dollars which I have placed in this bag. We have all agreed to leave it with you despite the fact the movie has gone suspiciously out of its way to, ahem, FOCUS on your apparent gambling problem. Assure me you will protect this money.

WILL SMITH

I will treat this money as if it were one of my own children.

BRENNAN BROWN

Not helping, Will.

INT. FOOTBALL GAME

WILL and MARGOT are hanging out in the V.I.P. lounge.

MARGOT ROBBIE

I actually don’t know anything about football, I just came here with you because we’re dating.

WILL SMITH

Really? Well it’s a good thing you don’t like football or didn’t blow off my invitation to come here or else I'd be in pretty deep shit in the next 10 minutes.

MARGOT ROBBIE

What?

WILL SMITH

Oh nothing. Hey, hows about we make a friendly wager. I bet you a dollar the dress is white and gold.

MARGOT ROBBIE

Ha! It’s blue and black! I win!

(fist pump!)

BD WONG

Greetings, I am an eccentric millionaire businessman and I couldn’t help but overhear your innocent gambling game. I bet Will ten thousand dollars he still thinks turning down Django Unchained was a good idea.

WILL SMITH

Argh! You win! I bet you the million dollars my thief army just made that Alfonso Ribeiro didn’t win Dancing With The Stars just because of me.

BD WONG

You lose! Give it up, Will! You’re a loser!

MARGOT ROBBIE

He’s right Will! You’ve clearly gone off the rails!

WILL SMITH

No! Double or nothing! I bet two million dollars that BD can pick the number of any football player on the field and that Margot can guess that number!

BD WONG

Really? That’s insane. What’s stopping me from just lying if she guesses right?

WILL SMITH

Uh, absolutely nothing?

BD WONG

Well... she did! I picked 55! That’s the jersey Will’s friend Adrian Martinez is wearing and the number I've been conveniently seeing all day! Here, take my money and go you crazy kids you!

MARGOT ROBBIE

Wait, so Will, this was all just an elaborate setup and you didn’t clue me in?

WILL SMITH

Yup.

MARGOT ROBBIE

But there were literally, like, a MILLION different ways this entire operation could have blown up in your smirking face!

WILL SMITH

I’m hoping my Will Smith charm will prevent most people from realizing that.

But it DOESN’T.

MARGOT ROBBIE

That was so exciting! So what’s our next big score? Are we going to steal back some gold bricks from Edward Norton? Or rob Andy Garcia’s casino? Oh oh, or take Alan Alda’s golden car maybe? I can’t wait! We’re going to make such a great team!

WILL SMITH

Actually, we’re done. I just needed you to help me con BD. It was just business. Sex filled business.

MARGOT ROBBIE

But your constipated expression says you actually care about me!

WILL SMITH

Sorry, Margot. Here’s a bunch of money for all your hard work. And thanks for all the hot sex!

(leaves)

END

FADE IN:

EXT. BUENOS AIRES - 3 YEARS LATER

FOCUS 2: FOCUS HARDER immediately begins playing.

WILL meets with RACE CAR OWNER GUY RODRIGO SANTORO.

RODRIGO SANTORO

Mr. Smith, my race car runs on a special MacGuffin formula that my engineers assure me will win, but I am kind of a prick so I want you to pretend to be a disgruntled employee and sell a fake formula to my rival Robert Taylor in exchange for 1 million dollars.

WILL SMITH

This seems like a job you could have hired any shlub with half a brain to do for a lot less, but fine I’ll take your money.

GERALD MCRANEY

I’m Rodrigo’s angry henchman and I don’t like you or your stupid smug hip-hop face.

WILL SMITH

Wait, so are you guys actually going to be my villains? Because the movie is sorely lacking any threatening antagonists or sense of danger right now.

GERALD MCRANEY

(scowl)

WILL SMITH

I suppose that’ll have to do.

INT. PARTY

WILL SMITH

So, all I have to do is pretend to be drunk and make a scene with Rodrigo in front of Robert Taylor and the con will be on, just so long as something doesn’t happen that makes me lose... FOCUS.

MARGOT ROBBIE

(appears)

WILL SMITH

FUCK! Everything’s blurry!

MARGOT ROBBIE

That’s right Will, I just so happen to be in Buenos Aires by sheer coincidence and I’m dating Rodrigo, also by sheer coincidence. Jealous?

WILL SMITH

As your mentor and former lover I should be suspicious as hell about this, but your body is kind of amazing so

(drops several dozen IQ points)

MARGOT ROBBIE

Now Rodrigo and I are going to get married and have lots of babies. Small-eared babies who have actual talent. I’m so over you, Will.

WILL SMITH

Remember that stolen necklace you wanted? Well I saved it just for you.

MARGOT ROBBIE

You saved it knowing full well you were going to dump me after the New Orleans job AND without knowing that you’d ever actually see me again?

WILL SMITH

Yes? I mean that sounds totally legit, doesn't it?

MARGOT ROBBIE

Well consider me romanced! Let’s run away together!

WILL SMITH

Yes! You won’t regret this sweetheart! I know I fucked up before but I promise you I’ll never ohshityou’rejustkidding.

MARGOT ROBBIE

HA! IN YO FACE! Now YOU know what it feels like to have your emotions played with! Later sucka!

(pause)

On second thought let’s bump uglies!

They DO!

Meanwhile WILL not only sells RODRIGO’s MACGUFFIN FORMULA to ROBERT TAYLOR, but he also sells it to EVERY OTHER RACING TEAM IN EXISTENCE, netting him 27 MILLION EUROS.

WILL SMITH

Now I just have to skip town with Margot and the money before Rodrigo gets wise.

But THE MOVIE is suddenly interrupted by a SHORT FILM about a day in the life of a COMMON HENCHMAN which wrecks THE SHIT out of WILL and MARGOT’s car.

HENCHMAN

Mr. Smith, my boss Rodrigo would like to see you. Also we should probably exchange insurance information.

WILL SMITH

How did you know exactly where and when we were leaving in order to crash into us like that? And what in the hell made you think you wouldn’t have killed us dead with that stunt?

HENCHMAN

Easy, because [REDACTED]

INT. RODRIGO’S INTERROGATION ROOM

WILL and MARGOT are tied up.

RODRIGO SANTORO

Will, I am very cross with you. Not only did you give Robert Taylor the real formula but you somehow broke through my super duper top secret security to get it. Clearly you have an inside man. Tell me who it is or I’ll pinch Margot’s nose right off her face.

WILL SMITH

Really? That's the most evil thing you could do? Why not threaten to shave her head while you're at it?

MARGOT ROBBIE

(through duct tape)

KINDOFSUFFOCATINGOVERHERE!!!!!

RODRIGO SANTORO

Talk, Will! Talk I say!

WILL SMITH

No.

(pause)

Okay okay, it was Margot. When I realized she was your girlfriend I used her by giving her a tacky necklace with a hacking microchip in it, so let her go.

RODRIGO SANTORO

What the hell are you talking about? Margot’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even know that skank!

WILL SMITH

...HUH?!

MARGOT ROBBIE

Err, yeah, I kinda just let you THINK we were together in order to seduce you and get revenge for dumping me. Twist?

WILL SMITH

So we’re both about to die because you wanted to trick me into winning you back even though I would have probably dragged myself across broken glass to be with you?

MARGOT ROBBIE

Whoops?

RODRIGO SANTORO

So Will, tell me who your REAL contact was or I will... probably just keep prancing around and yelling until the credits roll. Seriously. A kid who just visited Disneyland is more dangerous than I am.

WILL SMITH

No Rodrigo, I won’t tell you!

(pause)

Okay the truth is a year ago I got a call from my deadbeat dad and

(is shot!)

GERALD MCRANEY

Sorry Will, but I shot you because I couldn’t put up with anymore of your charming smooth talking bullshit. Amirite, folks?

RODRIGO SANTORO

Oh my God! Will’s actually shot and bleeding all over the place! I had better flee before the authorities arrive! I’ll also leave Will’s bags filled with 27 million Euros because I am suddenly allergic to money as well as intelligence!

(flees!)

MARGOT ROBBIE

(sobbing)

Noooo! Damn you Gerald! You just Zimmerman’d my boyfriend!

GERALD MCRANEY

Whoawhoawhoa-- Will didn’t tell you? We’re working together. Shooting him through the chest with a real gun was somehow part of his plan, now help me while I use this medieval plunger to revive him.

WILL SMITH

Thanks a lot dad!

GERALD MCRANEY

Yes, I’m Will’s father. Put my name in Google Image Search, you will see the family resemblance. Now that I’ve saved my son’s life after nearly killing him, I will show him how sorry I am for getting him into a life of crime and being a terrible father by robbing him of his 27 million Euros. I guess parents really DON’T understand!

(escapes!)

WILL and MARGOT limp towards a nearby hospital.

WILL SMITH

Wait, so were you really in Buenos Aires by pure chance and not because you tracked me down?

MARGOT ROBBIE

Seems so.

WILL SMITH

And you JUST so happened to be trying to grift the same guy I was trying to grift?

MARGOT ROBBIE

Apparently.

WILL SMITH

And we’ve basically spent the entire third act trapped in a quirky romantic comedy instead of a smart caper film?

MARGOT ROBBIE

Indeed.

WILL SMITH

Holy shit do I suck at decision making. For a movie called Focus we sure did lack a hell of a lot of it.

MARGOT ROBBIE

So Will, what's our next big con job going to be?

WILL SMITH

Marvel Studios has hired me to torpedo one of DC Comics' next big tentpoles. You in?

MARGOT ROBBIE

(produces large mallet)

You betcha Puddin'!

END