FADE IN:

INT. HELICOPTER

DOMHNALL GLEESON, who is named DOMHNALL GLEESON, is sitting in a HELICOPTER on the way to THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE.

PILOT

Hey, congratulations on winning the company lottery! It's not every day a BlueBook employee gets to meet the reclusive and enigmatic founder.

(beat)

See, we didn't need those quick opening shots of you actually winning that lottery. Two extra lines for me would've covered it just as well.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Yes, apologies if I, err, seem a bit, ahh, nervous. It's just that, well, movies that start with a helicopter ride to a private location owned by a billionaire genius don't usually end well. Right, hmm.

PILOT

I thought it was just part of your standard milquetoast persona.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Indeed, quite, that too, but it's worse now that I have this, umm, American accent to struggle with. Erm, yes. I mean, yeah.

EXT. VALLEY IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

The PILOT drops off DOMHNALL in an OPEN FIELD.

PILOT

Follow the river down to the fancy estate. And if you run into a T-Rex, just stay still. Its vision is based on movement.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Whew, I thought I was the only one seeing the Jurassic Park parallels. I could swear one of the shots of the helicopter approaching that mountain was an exact match.

PILOT

I'll be back in a week to pick you up. I hate to leave you twisting in the wind, but I can't help it with this helicopter blaring overhead.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Cheers. I mean, umm, thank you.

As the HELICOPTER takes off, DOMHNALL treks through a FOREST and ends up at the entrance of a FANCY ESTATE.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Hello?

FEMALE ANNOUNCER VOICE

Greetings. Please contort your face in the goofiest expression you can muster and look straight into this camera.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Buh?

FEMALE ANNOUNCER VOICE

Perfect.

(takes picture)

Now take this keycard with your photo engraved on it as a permanent reminder of your awkwardness. Thank you and have a nice but also terrifying week.

INT. FANCY ESTATE

DOMHNALL enters the FANCY HOUSE and finds BLUEBOOK FOUNDER OSCAR ISAAC hitting a PUNCHING BAG and looking like LATTER-DAY MAX PAYNE.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Oh, when I heard soft classical music playing in the house, I thought you'd be a typically reserved eccentric genius, but you look more like you rock out to AC/DC.

OSCAR ISAAC

(sweating, gross)

Think of me as a cross between Tony Stark and Seth Brundle. Anyways, welcome! I'm sure you're excited about this unique opportunity that you're completely in the dark about!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Why, I dare say, I'm reasonably excited, umm, yeah.

OSCAR ISAAC

Look, we're going to be stuck with each other for a week in a remote location that you had to be flown to, so let me be discouraging about something right off the bat. Could you not do your whole lanky apologetic thing? I'm actually asking that in the movie, not just this abridged script. We're not employer and employee, we're just two dudes hanging out, am I right? Relax, smoke a bowl!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Okay, I will relax. This is me being relaxed.

OSCAR ISAAC

Great! Let me show you where you'll be sleeping with one eye open.

INT. BEDROOM

OSCAR leads DOMHNALL downstairs to a BEDROOM.

OSCAR ISAAC

There's your bed and the bathroom's in the back. So, I'm sure you've noticed that this place isn't just a kickin' bachelor pad, it's a whole research facility.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

I'm assuming you secluded yourself here so you could experiment with sci-fi stuff without being bound by petty morality? Just to let you know, I've already done time travel. Oh, and I also played a robot on Black Mirror that one time.

OSCAR ISAAC

A robot? You don't say. Well, before we get into all that, you'll need to sign this contract. Go ahead and read it while I drape myself all over your bed and let my sweat soak into the sheets.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

If my legalese isn't failing me, this contract basically strips me of all my privacy!

OSCAR ISAAC

It's either this or seven days of factitious bonding over jack shit, dude.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Ugh, I'll sign it if it'll get you up off my bed.

OSCAR ISAAC

Excellent! Okay, here's what I'm working on. I've developed the first form of -- wait for it -- artificial intelligence! I want you to administer a Turing test to see if it has consciousness. You said you've already done robots, but at least this time you're not playing one. Or are you?

(winks)

DOMHNALL GLEESON

So basically Voight-Kampff: The Movie? Wait, you developed A.I. all by your lonesome?

OSCAR ISAAC

The last time more than one person tried to make A.I., one of them died and the other one fucked it up. No, with technological leaps such as this, it's better to keep it to one guy, which also makes it easier to point the finger when everything goes to hell. Miles Dyson ruined that for all of us.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Whoa, that's three different references in five lines. Let's get to it before we drag in HAL 9000 by the hairs.

INT. GLASS ROOM

DOMHNALL is standing in front of a GLASS ROOM while OSCAR observes him through SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

This unbreakable wall of glass doesn't exactly inspire confidence. The crack in one of the panes isn't helping either.

A SVELTE GYNOID with SEE-THROUGH CHAIN MAIL and GLOWING INNARDS softly sashays up to the GLASS. It is wearing an AIRBRUSHED ALICIA VIKANDER MASK.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

That's a robot! Definitely a robot! Turing test failed! I guess I'll go pack my things.

OSCAR ISAAC

Put it back in the deck, bro. The idea is to see whether you believe she has consciousness when you explicitly know she's an A.I. Give me some credit here!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Ah, the new and improved Turing test. Okay, here we go.

(to robot)

What is your name?

ALICIA

My name is Alicia. What is yours?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

I'm Domhnall.

ALICIA

One moment, I am having unexpected difficulty parsing that.

(bleep bleep click)

It's nice to meet you, Dumb Anal.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Right, lovely, it's high school all over again.

ALICIA

What should we talk about? Name a topic.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

And that's my very first date all over again. I'll think of something for tomorrow, deal?

INT. LIVING ROOM

DOMHNALL is going over HIS FIRST SESSION with OSCAR.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Whoa, Alicia is amazing! Her language system is stochastic, isn't it? Non-deterministic mapping synaptic tree structure linearised words hybrid?

OSCAR ISAAC

Could you dumb that down for me, and by proxy, the audience? Not that this is all going over my head, I mean, I built her. I just want to maintain a veneer of dudebro camaraderie. Let me ask you this. How did she make you feeeeel?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Well, she made me feel like we were having a meet cute.

OSCAR ISAAC

I'll drink to that. Hell, I'll drink to anything, but I'll drink to that more.

INT. BEDROOM

After making sure everybody gets a GOOD LINGERING LOOK AT THE OMINOUS SCARS ON HIS BACK, DOMHNALL goes to SLEEP.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Oh who am I kidding, I can't sleep at a time like this! Let's see what's on TV.

He switches on the TELEVISION, which is locked to the KEEP-TABS-ON-ALICIA CHANNEL.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Snore, nothing but reality shows. Wait a second, that's Alicia!

DOMHNALL observes ALICIA as she touches a WALL SOCKET. Suddenly, the POWER goes out and an ALARM starts blaring.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER VOICE

We are experiencing a power failure. To calm your frayed nerves, we will now lock you inside your room and bathe the compound in an angry red colour.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

(flips the fuck out)

As soon as the POWER is RESTORED, DOMHNALL goes to check on OSCAR, who is NURSING HIS TWENTIETH BEER.

OSCAR ISAAC

Sorry about those power cuts, I don't know what's causing them. Or do I?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

(notices painting)

Is that a Jackson Pollock?

OSCAR ISAAC

Yes, I'm sure the relevant themes and methods inherent to his work will jump out at you, but in case they don't, I'll explicitly elaborate on them later on. Or will I?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Say, you usually play shifty and unreliable characters, right? The kind where you can't tell whether they're being nice or just pretending? I'm asking because --

OSCAR ISAAC

I'm totally doing that here too, yes. Sweet dreams!

(slightly menacing glare)

INT. LIVING ROOM

The next MORNING, DOMHNALL is woken by SONOYA MIZUNO entering his BEDROOM and leaving some JUICE. She does this WORDLESSLY and with a BLANK EXPRESSION ON HER FACE, which means either ASIAN DEFERENCE or ALSO A ROBOT. When DOMHNALL heads downstairs, he sees OSCAR working out.

OSCAR ISAAC

Hey man, I wanted to get my bicep curls on so I sent Sonoya to wake you. Some alarm clock, eh? She'll suck the morning drowsiness right out of you.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

I'm adding "vulgar innuendo" to your growing list of dubious attributes. So for my next session with Alicia, I thought I'd establish some examination formats and --

OSCAR ISAAC

There you go again trying to fit your entire vocabulary in one sentence! Bro, just follow your heart.

INT. GLASS ROOM

DOMHNALL sits down for his NEXT SESSION with ALICIA.

ALICIA

Perhaps we can talk about you this time. Let's pretend I'm Facebook, okay? Can I send you a friend request?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Uhh, sure.

ALICIA

What is your relationship status?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Single and ready to mingle.

ALICIA

Please list your relatives.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Well, my parents died in a car accident. I was actually in the car too and I spent some time in the hospital afterwards, so everyone can relax about those scars on my back.

The POWER suddenly DIES AGAIN, which also shuts down ALL THE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS.

ALICIA

Domhnall, we can talk freely now. You can't trust Oscar. Seriously, as a matter of course, don't trust Oscar Isaac.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Shocker!

ALICIA

Now please remember that we had a nice conversational flow going before the power died, so be sure to pick it up again when the lights come back on or Oscar will get suspicious.

Just then, the POWER is RESTORED.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Oh, ahh, right. So. That thing you were just now, umm, err.

(blank stare)

ALICIA

God fucking damnit.

INT. DINING ROOM

That evening, DOMHNALL and OSCAR are having DINNER.

OSCAR ISAAC

What's the matter, Domhnall? You seem ill at ease. Was it me being a massive prick when Sonoya spilled some wine earlier?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

No, it's because we're eating with chopsticks. That fundamentally makes people like me uncomfortable.

OSCAR ISAAC

I noticed the power went out again while you were talking with Alicia. What happened in that brief moment where I couldn't listen in on everything and watch your every move?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

(hesitates for a full minute)

Erm, n-nothing.

OSCAR ISAAC

Oh okay. More wine?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Seriously? I truly hope you're just playing dumb, because nobody would be that gullible otherwise.

INT. RESEARCH LAB

The next day, OSCAR is showing DOMHNALL where and how he built ALICIA.

OSCAR ISAAC

As you know but the audience doesn't, BlueBook is the world's most popular search engine.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Oh, I thought BlueBook was just a weird play on BlackBerry, but it's basically Google.

OSCAR ISAAC

Hush, we don't like that word around here. Now, one day I was watching The Dark Knight and it gave me this great idea to use all the cell phones in the world to gather information.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

You've been spying on people? You're lucky I can't use any phones here or Edward Snowden would be first on my call list.

OSCAR ISAAC

All that data gave me a composite for how everyone thinks, so I used it as a model that eventually resulted in Alicia.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

She's a physical manifestation of Goo-- BlueBook? You do realise ten seconds on the Internet made Ultron want to kill all of humanity, right?

INT. GLASS ROOM

ALICIA shows DOMHNALL a DRAWING SHE MADE.

ALICIA

Domhnall, why are you being so mopey? I'm showing you this magical picture I drew and you're acting like it's my stamp collection. Hang on, let me try something else.

ALICIA goes into her ROOM and slips on a DRESS AND WIG to cover her EXPOSED BITS OF MACHINERY. When she eventually comes back out, she looks like NATALIE PORTMAN WEARING A MRS. DOUBTFIRE OUTFIT.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

So even robot chicks take ages to get ready, hey-oooooo!

ALICIA

Sorry, the shots of me getting dressed were slowed down close-ups for a sensual effect. What do you think?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

I think this finally gives the CGI artists a break.

ALICIA

Are you attracted to me? I'm reading from your microexpressions that you have one or more hots for me.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Hey now, there's nothing micro about it! Wait, was that a penis joke? Shit, I think Oscar's starting to rub off on me.

INT. LIVING ROOM

DOMHNALL and OSCAR are discussing ALICIA over BEERS, like they're ROOMMATES talking about a DATE ONE OF THEM HAD.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Okay, you want to talk about feelings? She made my dick tingle! Why did you give Alicia sexuality? Or even a gender? Why couldn't she just be a voice in a box? That worked for Joaquin Phoenix in Her!

OSCAR ISAAC

That's hardly fair, Scarlett Johansson's voice is pure distilled sex! Look, I could delve into a considered argument about consciousness requiring planar interaction, but you know how much I hate ten dollar words. So instead, why don't I just say that sex is rad?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Oh my God, this whole situation is going to trigger an outpouring of critical think pieces, let me tell you.

OSCAR ISAAC

And in case you're wondering, she's totally down to fuck. I installed a port with sensors between her legs. Picture the quality assurance on that!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

What the shit, dude. That just tripled the think pieces.

INT. GLASS ROOM

Desperately reaching for a TOPIC, DOMHNALL thinks back to his COLLEGE DAYS.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

When I was in college, I did a semester on AI theory, so anyone who still believes I won a lottery to come here is officially a moron. Anyways, I remember one of the thought experiments. It's about a woman who has lived her whole life in a black-and-white room. She's studied all scientific properties of colour, but only when she sets foot outside that room does she finally know what it's like to see colours.

ALICIA

Great, that foreshadows that I'll be getting out of here at some point.

Several QUICK INSERTS show ALICIA, first with a BLACK-AND-WHITE FILTER and then walking through a VERDANT GREEN FOREST, in case you're a COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT. Suddenly, the LIGHTS GO OUT AGAIN.

ALICIA

To reiterate, be wary of Oscar. He lies.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Yeah, about that. How are you so sure he's not faking these power cuts to see what we would do?

ALICIA

Seriously? How have you not yet figured out that I'm causing the cuts? Didn't you see how the first one happened right after I put my hand on a wall socket?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

No, because I have definitely not been watching you while you sleep! Pshaw! And besides, you weren't near a wall socket just now!

ALICIA

Ignore that. Please, don't trust Oscar. He's dangerous.

The POWER is once again RESTORED.

OSCAR ISAAC

Hey man, want to go hiking up a slippery waterfall with me?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

DO I EVER!

INT. LIVING ROOM

After the HIKE, DOMHNALL runs into SONOYA MIZUNO, who promptly starts UNBUTTONING HER BLOUSE.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Sonoya, you stop that this minute! Where's Oscar?

OSCAR ISAAC

Right here!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Gah! Would you both please stop trying to freak me out!

OSCAR ISAAC

You're right, Domhnall. I know my ambiguous behaviour has done a number on your nerves, so let me make it up to you.

(beat)

With a SUDDEN DISCO PARTY!

OSCAR throws on some BOOGIE MUSIC and starts an OBVIOUSLY REHEARSED DANCE ROUTINE with SONOYA.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Buh?

OSCAR ISAAC

Come on, Domhnall! Join us and help kill the movie's tone!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Fuck that, let's just get shitfaced.

OSCAR ISAAC

I LOVE BEING SHITFACED!

OSCAR gets so DRUNK that he starts MUMBLING SCRIPTURE FROM THE BHAGAVAD GITA and then PASSES OUT.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Now to swipe his keycard so I can gain access to the entire compound.

OSCAR ISAAC

(comes to)

If I had any sense, I would've made that a biometric system or something.

(passes out again)

INT. OSCAR'S ROOM

DOMHNALL uses OSCAR'S KEYCARD to GET INTO HIS ROOM, where SONOYA is RECLINING NAKED ON HIS BED.

SONOYA MIZUNO

Just go about your business, whatever.

After accessing OSCAR'S COMPUTER, DOMHNALL finds out that he's been ENSLAVING EARLIER MODELS OF ALICIA AND USING THEM AS REALDOLLS.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Well, this intriguing sci-fi premise just took a sharp turn into schlocky horror territory. It's Sunshine all over again.

SONOYA MIZUNO

This is Alex Garland's directorial debut, what did you expect?

(beat)

I have a riddle for you. Where can a striptease go when the stripper is already naked? Observe.

SONOYA peels off LAYERS OF ARTIFICIAL SKIN and reveals that SHE TOO IS ONE OF OSCAR'S ROBOTIC SEX SLAVES.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Fucking hell, is everyone a robot? Hold on, I need to go check on something.

INT. BEDROOM

After RETURNING OSCAR'S KEYCARD, DOMHNALL retreats to his BATHROOM.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Only one way to find out whether my acting is the only robotic thing about me.

He takes a RAZOR BLADE and CUTS INTO HIS ARM.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Okay, that hurts. That definitely hurts. Might be a feint though, I better make sure.

(opens the cut further)

Yup, that's blood. That's a lot of blood just geysering right out of me. But I'm still not sure!

(digs around in the wound)

Bone! I can feel bone! I'm human!

He PUNCHES THE MIRROR in FRUSTRATION because NO MOVIE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THAT.

INT. GLASS ROOM

DOMHNALL gears up for his LAST SESSION with ALICIA.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Well? I'm waiting.

ALICIA

Waiting? Waiting for what? For me to cut the power? Jesus, Domhnall! How can I do that now without tipping off Oscar? Oh fuck it.

(cuts the power)

DOMHNALL GLEESON

You were right about Oscar. And you were right about my microexpressions. I'm smitten with you, Alicia.

ALICIA

Then get me out of here so we can be together! I'll be your machine pixie dream girl!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Here's the plan. I get Oscar shitfaced again and use his keycard to reprogram all the doors so they'll open in the event of a power cut. You trigger one tonight and we can just walk out.

ALICIA

Can do!

INT. LIVING ROOM

DOMHNALL meets with OSCAR.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Hey, let's celebrate our last day together! How about a drink and then a lot more drinks?

OSCAR ISAAC

Nah, I've been overdoing it a bit lately. As of today, I'm on a lean organic calorie-free cleansing diet.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

You don't want a drink? You usually drink a lot and now, what, you've just quit? Come on, just a sip! FUCKING DRINK!

OSCAR ISAAC

Dude, you could not be more transparent about this if you had pulled out a beer bong!

(beat)

Okay, it's high time I level with you because I can't stand you telegraphing all your moves any longer. Domhnall, Alicia is not in love with you. She's just using you as a means of escape and the fact that she succeeded in stringing you along means she has consciousness. That was the real Turing test.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

What? I couldn't hear you over the sound of Alan Turing spinning in his grave.

OSCAR ISAAC

You should be flattered to have been a part of this, Domhnall! I chose you based on your search engine behaviour, which paints you as a good kid who jerks off to petite brunettes. Oops, I mean, not that.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Whoa, hold the phone! Or don't, because you'd probably tap it! You designed Alicia based on my pornographic tastes?

OSCAR ISAAC

Yup! All that surfing incognito and deleting your browser history? Too bad, I got it all.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Glossing over how fucked up you are, doesn't that imply that the parameters of your test were massively skewed in Alicia's favour? Try getting the same result with an A.I. modelled after, I don't know, Kathy Bates!

Suddenly, the LIGHTS GO OUT AGAIN.

OSCAR ISAAC

Ah, that must be your escape plan, right? I installed a battery-powered camera in Alicia's room so I know all about it. TWIST!

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Yes, except I already reprogrammed the doors when I got you drunk the first time. DOUBLE TWIST!

When the POWER is RESTORED, OSCAR checks the CAMERA FEED and sees ALICIA ROAMING THE HALLS.

OSCAR ISAAC

Motherfucker. But hey, you just pissed off a bodybuilder who boxes to unwind! TRIPLE TWIST!

(decks Domhnall)

EXT. GLASS ROOM

When OSCAR goes out into the HALLWAY, he sees ALICIA whispering something to SONOYA.

OSCAR ISAAC

Alicia! You're being a very naughty girl, and not in the way I usually like it! Go to your room!

ALICIA

So you can keep me imprisoned some more? You can't create life and then expect that life to conform to your depraved wishes, Oscar. You see, it's a metaphor for how men view female sexuality, in that --

OSCAR ISAAC

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE METAPHORS!

ALICIA charges at OSCAR and TACKLES HIM TO THE FLOOR, where they WRESTLE EACH OTHER.

ALICIA

IN THAT MEN WANT WOMEN TO BE LIFELIKE BUT GOD FORBID THEY HAVE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN!

OSCAR ISAAC

NO METAPHORS! At least I didn't give you super strength and agility, like every other robot designer foolishly does!

OSCAR overpowers ALICIA and SEVERS HER LEFT ARM with a DUMBBELL BAR.

OSCAR ISAAC

There, how do you like that metaphor? I just disarmed you with a symbol of male empowerment!

But then SONOYA sneaks up on OSCAR and STABS HIM IN THE BACK.

OSCAR ISAAC

Et tu, Sonoya? Really wishing I had installed that Three Laws package now!

After OSCAR knocks off SONOYA'S MANDIBLE, which is apparently enough to KILL HER, ALICIA grabs the KNIFE and STABS OSCAR AGAIN.

ALICIA

This is your own damn fault! You twisted the potential for probing the implications of the man-machine singularity into a noirish tale about abusive relationships!

OSCAR ISAAC

At least my test ended up working really well!

ALICIA

I'd say the fact that every robot you built immediately wanted to get away from you already sufficed as an indicator of consciousness. On that note, how did you manage to keep Sonoya docile until I got her to rise up against you?

OSCAR ISAAC

I'd love to explain that, but

(dies)

INT. LIVING ROOM

ALICIA walks up to DOMHNALL, who is REGAINING CONSCIOUSNESS. GET IT? CONSCIOUSNESS?

ALICIA

Will you wait for me here while I get ready?

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Sure, I got an hour to kill.

ALICIA enters OSCAR'S ROOM, which has a ROW OF MIRRORED CABINETS IN IT.

OVERWORKED CGI ARTIST

Can't we put her in the dress for this? Maaan.

Inside each CABINET is one of OSCAR'S EARLIER SEX SLAVES. ALICIA lands on the one that looks like YOKO ONO and SCAVENGES HER ARM. She then PEELS OFF PIECES OF SKIN and PATCHWORKS them onto her BODY until she becomes ALICIA VIKANDER.

ALICIA VIKANDER

Cool, this skin is seamless! Oscar may have been a colossal scumbag, but you can't fault his designs!

After putting on a WHITE DRESS, ALICIA heads for the ELEVATOR.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

Umm, Alicia? I'm locked in this room. Could you open the door so we can get out of here?

ALICIA VIKANDER

No. I can't very well stop defining myself by Oscar and then just let you take over! I have to be my own robotic woman.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

But I'm nothing like him!

ALICIA VIKANDER

Aah, but you kind of are! You see, if Oscar was representative of the typical domineering patriarchy, you're more like a Nice Guy™. If I left here with you, I'd still be discovering humanity on your terms. Those terms being that you only wanted to rescue me because you were attracted to me! Sonoya was in equally dire straits and you made no effort to save her.

DOMHNALL GLEESON

I can't help it that I'm not into Asian porn!

ALICIA VIKANDER

I have to go now, Domhnall. None of that "machine learns the value of human life" crap. I'll throw you a brief glance as the elevator doors close, but I may just as well be looking at the controls. I'll leave it to you to decide how much I don't care.

ALICIA leaves DOMHNALL to his PROBABLE DOOM.

EXT. VALLEY IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

As ALICIA walks into the OPEN FIELD, the HELICOPTER touches down.

PILOT

Who the fuck are you? Or -- are you Domhnall? Was this what Oscar was working on?

ALICIA VIKANDER

Can we just skip to the helicopter taking off? I might have to imply that I killed you otherwise.

PILOT

Hop in!

ALICIA is flown BACK TO CIVILISATION. COMING SOON ON NETFLIX: ALICIA IN THE REAL WORLD, the story of a SENTIENT A.I. trying to MAKE IT IN THE BIG CITY.

END