FADE IN:

INT. JESSICA CHASTAIN AND NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU'S APARTMENT

NIKOLAJ talks to DAVID FOX who is looking for his nieces.

DAVID FOX

It's been five years since your psycho twin murdered his colleagues, killed his wife, and scrammed with his two daughters. But thanks for paying me to drive out to random places around where he used to live to look for signs of their whereabouts.

NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU

Well we don't KNOW that he crashed his car and walked the girls to an abandoned yet furnished cabin where he was mysteriously killed by something. But I felt it necessary to never give up hope that some sign of them will somehow be within a few miles of where we live.

DAVID FOX

Well you're about to have to because your latest check didn't. By total coincidence, this will have to be the last time we go on our child hunting searches.

JESSICA CHASTAIN takes a pregnancy test and is not pregnant.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Guess who isn't pregnant? THIS ONE!

NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU

I'm not even going to merit that with any response whatsoever, indicating that you must just take pregnancy tests every day as a sort of hobby.

EXT. WOODS

DAVID FOX finds the car and cabin in the woods. They also find NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU'S nieces, who have survived entirely off of cherries and are feral.

INT. CLINIC

PSYCHIATRIST DANIEL KASH gets ready to introduce the girls, MEGAN CHARPENTIER and ISABELLE NELISSE, to JESSICA and NIKOLAJ.

DANIEL KASH

I'm warning you. They're pretty creepy looking so this will be hard on you and we can only assume what sort of trauma these children are going through. Miraculously though, Megan has retained all of the vocabulary she had acquired by three years old. Five years later. She has not spoken to a single person with vocabulary, yet she can still do this. Oh and they created a parental figure they call Mama.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

That is fucking impressive. But shouldn't we warn the girls before sending in their murdering father's identical twin brother?

DAVID FOX

What? Why? Did you think I would have their best interest in mind or something?

INT. COURTROOM

DANIEL KASH

Your Honor, the girls have progressed ASTOUNDINGLY fast and I mean ASTOUNDINGLY. I want them to live near me because apparently there are no child psychologists anywhere else in the country. I recommend they live with JESSICA and NIKOLAJ because our mental health clinic will pay for them to live in a nice house, even though they still won't have reliable income. Since there are no other experts involved in this case, you have to go on my recommendation alone.

JANE MOFFAT

Your Honor, I'm the great aunt of the girls and clearly in a better condition to raise them instead of this guy with his emo girlfriend, who I might add is in a very VERY bad rock band. Also, with the Internet these days, someone could have set up some donation for these girls that likely would have accumulated a fortune since people can collect donations for, say, having too many weeds in their yard. These two never even thought of that.

JESSICA and NIKOLAJ get custody of the girls. JANE gets visitation.

INT. DANIEL'S OFFICE

DANIEL talks to MEGAN who is under hypnosis.

MEGAN CHARPENTER

Mama is a lady who escaped a crazy house a long time ago after someone took her baby and then her baby died.

DANIEL KASH

Cool. I'm glad I sacrificed what is best for you so I can delve deeper into this crazy story a child is telling me.

INT. JESSICA'S BAND PRACTICE

JESSICA'S VERY VERY BAD BANDMATE

Listen babe, why don't you like, whatevs, leave NIKOLAJ and shit, dude.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

I don't want to leave him. Have you SEEN him?

JESSICA'S VERY VERY BAD BANDMATE

(actual line)

Mrs. Sensitivity. You're in a ROCK band!

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Sigh. I WAS in a rock band. Wait... are we goth? Are we about to fight over who will get to marry Trent Reznor when we grow up? We're in our thirties. Why the hell are we talking like the goth kids in South Park?

EXT. THEIR HOUSE

JESSICA and NIKOLAJ meet the girls MEGAN and ISABELLE at their new house.

ISABELLE NELISSE

Mama?

JESSICA CHASTAIN

WHOA there now! I am in a rock band! Do not call me that. I've already established I don't want to get pregnant which apparently also means I'm incredibly bad with children and lack any sort of warmth towards you.

NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU

This is going to go SO WELL.

INT. PUBLIC RECORDS BUILDING

DANIEL searches for information about the crazy woman with the dead baby.

PUBLIC RECORDS LADY

There are no records about a crazy lady who killed a baby and there are no psychiatric hospitals near where they were found.

DANIEL KASH

Damn.

PUBLIC RECORDS LADY

Oh, but wait there was one here over a hundred years ago. Where that EXACT same story happened that Megan told you.

DANIEL KASH

I feel like you could have opened with that information.

INT. HOUSE

MEGAN and ISABELLE play with something large, dark and shadowy while JESSICA plays her ELECTRIC BASS in the kitchen because fuck domestic life, motherfucker.

Later that night, JESSICA and NIKOLAJ get ready for bed.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Something strange is going on with the girls. They aren't ready for this.

NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU

You mean because they lived by themselves in the woods and you have very little interest in them? They'll be fine.

JESSICA spots the dark shadowy figure the girls play with which is MAMA, and makes NIKOLAJ go look for an intruder. He finds a moldy stain on the wall that slaps the fuck out of him so that he flies down the stairs.

INT. HOSPITAL

JESSICA is crying over NIKOLAJ who is in a coma.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

SO. That should be it then. Surely I cannot take care of these girls by myself. That would be absolutely ludicrous.

DANIEL KASH

Oh... please. The doctors say he should maybe sort of be okay. Comas are no biggie. He'll be fine.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

What? I'm begging you. I think I should at least have a desire to take care of these kids for you to actually allow me to do it, much less pretty much force me to do it. What kind of fucking doctor are you?

DANIEL KASH

One who guilt trips people into taking care of children with special needs for my own personal curiosity or perhaps professional gain.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Well. At least that tells me you're probably going to die.

Back at their house, the girls continue to play with Mama in the middle of an ominous score.

INT. DANIEL'S OFFICE

JESSICA is freaked out about the creepy little children she is being forced to raise.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Seriously. Something is fucked with these girls.

DANIEL KASH

Uh huh. I think Megan has Dissociative Personality Disorder. She is literally becoming "Mama".

JESSICA CHASTAIN

But what about ME?

DANIEL KASH

You're fine, she's fine. A child with PDD should fit right in with your juvenile persona.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

You are pretty much a dead man walking at this point.

INT. PUBLIC RECORDS BUILDING

PUBLIC RECORDS LADY

Apparently they move cemeteries and take the unclaimed remains of mostly small children and babies and put them in this here storage facility. I am not a religious person, but it seems pretty fucked up to do that.

DANIEL KASH

I don't think you have to be a religious person to think that a Dead Baby Storage is pretty fucked up.

PUBLIC RECORDS LADY

(actual line)

A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself time after time until it rights the wrong that was done.

DANIEL KASH

I'm glad you aren't religious...

PUBLIC RECORDS LADY

This here box contains THE WRONG.

She hands DANIEL a box that contains A. DEAD. BABY.

Meanwhile, NIKOLAJ wakes up from his coma after having a dream where his brother tells him to save his girls by going to the cabin. JANE goes to the house for her visitation.

JANE MOFFAT

WHAT THE SHIT! These children look like they spent most of their lives living alone in a forest! I am appalled by your treatment of them in these last few weeks.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

I know. The little one is fucking weird. But those bruises were not caused by me, so fuck off.

JANE calls social services in her car asking about what to do when you believe children are being abused. She either gets a very uninformed responder, or she is an idiot and ignores the proper response. Her death certificate is being printed.

DABIEL KASH

Wait your turn missy. I'm going to go to the cabin by myself.

DANIEL walks to the cabin alone at night and is killed by the same black moldy spot that slapped NIKOLAJ into a coma. NIKOLAJ leaves the hospital and goes to the place where the girls were found instead of... home.

INT. THEIR HOUSE

JESSICA reads the files she had stolen from DANIEL'S office on ISABELLE, MEGAN and MAMA. JESSICA spots a record that shows that DANIEL collected some REMAINS and realizes that A. DEAD. BABY is in a box on her coffee table.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

I'm going to weep silently instead of violently vomiting. So it would appear a very mentally ill lady had her baby taken from her so she responded by taking the baby and jumping off a cliff. The baby got caught on a limb on the way down and Mama spends the rest of her death trying to find it, until she settled on mothering Isabelle and Megan. Huh. I had that exact same dream about thirty minutes ago.

MEGAN appears.

MEGAN CHARPENTER

I love you Jessica.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Ohhhhh. Shit. You're probably going to piss off Mama.

She DOES. MAMA pops around the house scaring the shit out of everybody and briefly sucks the life out of JESSICA. JANE shows up at the house. It's a VERY bad time.

JANE MOFFAT

Apparently when I suspect child abuse, I sneak into their home at night to take pictures of their bodies. This kind of stupidity probably won't go unpunished.

It DOESN'T. MAMA eats her face. JESSICA wakes up and finds the girls are GONE. She gets THE DEAD BABY and goes to the cliff MAMA had jumped off with her baby. NIKOLAJ is also there. MAMA is about to fly the girls off a cliff, since that's her style, when JESSICA gives her her dead baby. This appeases her for a millisecond and she comes back, takes ISABELLE and crashes into the water.

MEGAN CHARPENTER

Damn. So now along with being almost killed by my Dad, left in the woods, raised by a pissed off ghost and almost killed by that pissed off ghost, I now have to endure the loss of losing my sibling. This sucks.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Life is pain.

END