FADE IN:

INT. ROOM

BRIE LARSON has been imprisoned in a small, 11 x 11 foot ROOM for the last seven years. Her son, JACOB TREMBLAY, just turned five years old.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Good morning Lamp! Good morning Sink! I like to say hi to my furniture as if they were friends! Gosh, isn't Room is the bestest, most specialist, funnest world ever?

BRIE LARSON

Yep, this is it, Jacob. This is the whole world. This definitely isn't a security-locked shed in the back of some psychopath's house. And our situation is definitely not similar to those Jaycee Duggard and Elizabeth Smart cases. And I definitely didn't get pregnant and give birth to the kid from The Smurfs 2.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Hey Ma, I know we call the guy that comes in at night "Old Nick," which is another name for the Devil, but how bad could he be? He brings us food and clothes! You act like he's Gargamel!

BRIE LARSON

Believe me, kid, he's a thousand times worse.

They exercise, make crafts, and bake JACOB a birthday cake.

JACOB TREMBLAY

This cake sucks! It doesn't even have candles with fire on it! You should have asked "Old Nick" for that instead of things we actually need to survive!

BRIE LARSON

Look, I'm trying to make our lives in this hellhole a little less miserable! So if you could stop acting like a normal five year old, that would be great.

That night, JACOB watches from inside the WARDROBE as SEAN BRIDGERS, a.k.a. "Old Nick" comes in.

SEAN BRIDGERS

Oh, it was Jacob's birthday today? Ha, wow, time really flies when you're crazed lunatic. Anyway, I'll continue to honor your request for me not to see him or have any contact with him. Because I'm a stand up guy like that.

BRIE LARSON

Yeah. So, odd-Jeffery-Dahmer-look-a-like, why has our stingy food supply been even more limited recently?

SEAN BRIDGERS

Well, it's becoming more difficult to provide for the two of you since I lost my job six months ago. Nothing you should worry about, I'm sure I can find a way to eliminate some extra mouths to feed. Now lets have sex so the five year old narrator of this movie can have cute exposition about the atrocious situation you're in.

The next morning...

BRIE LARSON

Jacob, we're in trouble. Remember all those cute things I told you to make your life fun and simpler?

JACOB TREMBLAY

Yeah! Like how everything on TV is make believe and anything that can't be explained is either magic or aliens?

BRIE LARSON

Yup. Now, forget all that! The truth is, Sean abducted me when I was 17 and has imprisoned me here ever since. You were born here and you think Room is the world in it's entirety, but the truth is, there's a whole different world outside of it! Now I'm going to give you a good five minutes to wrap your head around this concept.

JACOB TREMBLAY

So you lied! This IS like those Jaycee Duggard and Elizabeth Smart cases!

BRIE LARSON

Yes. And actually, the author of this book got the idea after she heard about the Fritzl case. So if you want to have your mind fucked by a true story even worse than this one, look that one up.

They hear the BEEP of the padlocked door.

BRIE LARSON

Quick! Sean's coming! Here's the plan: You are to play dead, so Sean can take you out of here. Now let's roll you up in this filthy carpet that still has the blood stains from when you were born on it! Hmm... symbolism much?

SEAN enters Room.

BRIE LARSON

(crying)

Jacob got really sick and died because you shut the power off! I want you to bury his body somewhere nice. And don't unroll the carpet or check his pulse to make sure this isn't a ploy to escape!

SEAN BRIDGERS

Sure, I'll do everything you ask. I'm a stand up guy like that.

SEAN takes JACOB out of ROOM and throws him in the back of his pickup truck. As SEAN drives away, JACOB unrolls himself from the carpet, looks up, and see's the blue sky for the very first time!

JACOB TREMBLAY

Wow! It's so beautiful! And I never knew the sky comes with the sounds of uncontrollable sobbing! Oh, wait, that's the audience.

He jumps out of the truck and finds help! And the police find BRIE! And they rush towards each other relieved that they're both still alive! And movie theater ushers have to use a CANOE to maneuver through the river of tears in the aisles!

INT. HOSPITAL

JACOB looks out the window.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Wow. I'm learning so much about the real world. There are lots of different people. And colors are brighter and prettier than I imagined. And this movie hints at the fact that I still breastfeed at five years old, but at least we didn't have a graphic scene where a pre-teen actor pretends to nurse from a prosthetic boob like they did in Game of Thrones.

BRIE LARSON

Well, I'm just glad Sean bitched out and tried to skip town, instead of you know, coming back and killing me.

Their doctor, CAS ANVAR walks in.

CAS ANVAR

Okay, so because Jacob has not developed any immunities to the environment, I'm giving him sunglasses and a surgical mask, so he's going to have to look like a tiny Michael Jackson for a while. Now Brie, about that psychological counseling we talked about.

BRIE LARSON

Well, Doc, to be honest, I think I'm fine.

CAS ANVAR

Good enough for me! Have fun adjusting back to real life.

INT. BRIE'S MOTHER'S HOUSE

BRIE is reunited with her mother, JOAN ALLEN, her father, WILLIAM H. MACY, and JOAN'S new husband, TOM MCCAMUS.

JOAN ALLEN

Welcome back home, honey! I've kept your room exactly how you left it. So you can think about all of the friends you used to have, the lives they have been allowed to lead, and the person you used to be before being abducted! CHEERS!

TOM MCCAMUS

And since your story is national news, people from all over have sent toys for Jacob! Although it would have been nicer if they had sent money to pay for some your bills like they did for those girls in Ohio.

They all sit down for dinner.

WILLIAM H. MACY

I would like to make a toast. I cannot believe I've been given the astounding chance to reunite with a daughter of whom we had long ago presumed was dead. To be able to get answers in a situation like this is truly a gift that I will not take for granted. Seeing that you gave birth alone, nurtured your child in dire circumstances, educated him, kept him happy, and maintained his physical health is a feat that would humble most adults.

(pause)

JUST KIDDING I say none of those things. In fact, I can't even look at Jacob because he was conceived by the asshole who abducted you! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll promptly fuck off for the rest of the movie. See ya!

(does so)

JACOB TREMBLAY

Wow, so there's another thing I learned about the real world. Some people have absolutely no tact.

BRIE LARSON

Seriously. This is further pushing me into depression along with my PTSD! I still don't think I need that psychological counseling though... And in unrelated news, mom, I resent you for moving on with your life and teaching me to always be kind to people, which I believe is what caused me to be kidnapped after a stranger asked me for help with his sick dog!

JOAN ALLEN

That's the only piece of information we get from your abduction? Well, there is a discussion to be had here about women being taught to be polite and kind even in circumstances that make them uncomfortable...

BRIE LARSON

Or we could both just have temper tantrums in front of Jacob while he's trying to adjust!

JOAN ALLEN

Great idea!

Their LAWYER walks in.

LAWYER

Welp, I see everyone here is adjusting just fine. So Brie, you have to do a TV interview to pay for some of the vague expenses this movie brings up but never really clarifies. I mean I'm assuming we're suing Sean civilly, because if the state was prosecuting him we wouldn't owe anything, but whatever, you have expenses.

Later, Brie does an interview with the WORST. JOURNALIST. EVER.

WENDY CREWSON

So, how many times have you contemplated suicide? Did you have sex with other men while you were trapped in that shed? How do you think your son will react when he finds out who his father is?

BRIE LARSON

Jesus Christ! First of all, I don't consider that scumbag as the father. I'm Jacob's only parent. And second, what network do you work for to actually ask this shit? Did we not prep before this?

WENDY CREWSON

The network for cartoonishly evil reporters. Anyway, why didn't you let Sean take Jacob away so he could live a better life instead of selfishly keeping him with you in a tiny shed?

BRIE LARSON

You are absolutely right. As a kidnapped and abused teenager, I should have sat down with my captor/ rapist and have a logical heart to heart about adoption or safe haven laws. I could totally accept that he would do the right thing instead of just tossing my baby in a ditch. Are you done with these asinine questions?

WENDY CREWSON

What do you mean? Don't all reporters inflate the drama of an already delicate situation? I mean, it's not like this has any dire consequences, like making you feel guilty or worsening your depression, right?

BRIE LARSON

...............

INT. JOAN ALLEN'S HOUSE

BRIE TRIES TO KILL HERSELF. She is taken to a hospital and Jacob stays at home with JOAN.

JOAN ALLEN

Hmph, maybe we should use the funds from that interview to sue that idiot reporter.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Don't worry Grandma, I'm adjusting well and gaining a sense of independence. In fact, I think I'll illustrate this by getting rid of this Marky Mark in Rockstar wig I've been wearing this whole time!

JOAN ALLEN

Really? I know that cutting your hair is an old trope about finding new found strength, but I'm just wondering if the audience might find it overdone or--

JACOB TREMBLAY

(yanking on the audience's heart strings)

My hair is my strength and I want to send it to Brie so she'll get better and also I love you Grandma!

The movie theater USHERS from before are now WHITE WATER RAFTING in the aisles.

JOAN ALLEN

Okay, maybe not.

BRIE comes home.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Hey mom! Now that you're out of the hospital, I think we should go back to Room and look at it one last time.

BRIE LARSON

And why in holy hell would I want to do that?

JACOB TREMBLAY

Drama, mom. And also closure. But mostly drama.

They go back to ROOM.

JACOB TREMBLAY

Bye Room! Welp, I'm good! Hooray! I guess the real world isn't so bad! I establish healthy connections to friends and family, and will probably go on to have a normal childhood! Well, that is, until I'm older and learn the truth of this whole situation.

BRIE LARSON

Yeah, and even though I'm free of my physical captivity, I'll probably be forever imprisoned in my own personal PTSD hell, and will probably spend the rest of my life trying not to be a hollow shell of a person. Hooray real world...

JACOB TREMBLAY

Well, look at it this way, Ma, at least you don't have to pretend for me anymore. Now you can always tell me the truth!

BRIE LARSON

Yeah, I guess you're right.

JACOB TREMBLAY

So when do we get to walk away with our matching Oscars?

BRIE LARSON

Ummmmm......

END