FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

BRIAN BOLAND, SPRAGUE GRAYDEN, MOLLY EPHRAIM and SPRAGUE GRAYDEN's FIRSTBORN arrive home to find that the HOUSE has been trashed. Suspecting burglary, BRIAN BOLAND has SECURITY CAMERAS installed all around the HOUSE.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 1)

NOTHING happens.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 2)

MOLLY EPHRAIM sees VIVIS COLOMBETTI making BLESSING GESTURES around the LIVING ROOM.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

What are you doing, Vivis?

VIVIS COLOMBETTI

My Latino Sense is tingling. There's an evil spirit in this house.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 3)

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN and KATIE FEATHERSTON are watching FIRSTBORN play in the NURSERY.

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

I think there's something wrong.

KATIE FEATHERSTON

Like what?

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

Like when we were kids, remember that?

KATIE FEATHERSTON

Not really. Hey, this isn't footage from the security camera; it's a handheld camera. Why are you filming me as we talk?

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

I don't know, I just have a feeling that this conversation might become relevant later. You know, in case neither of us is here for some reason and someone is trying to figure out what happened.

KATIE FEATHERSTON

Okay then.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 4)

VIVIS COLOMBETTI is home alone with FIRSTBORN. Suddenly, there's a loud BANG coming from the NURSERY and FIRSTBORN starts to cry.

VIVIS COLOMBETTI

I knew it! There's an evil spirit in this house! That's the only possible explanation!

BRIAN BOLAND and SPRAGUE GRAYDEN arrive home and find VIVIS COLOMBETTI smoking the house with FIRSTBORN in her arms. They fire her.

BRIAN BOLAND

Don't worry, Vivis: I'll give you stellar references for your next job. I think "disregards employer's explicit instructions concerning welfare of child" has a nice ring to it, don't you?

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAYS 5 TO 9)

The NURSERY'S DOOR gently swings open. Outside, a BIRD flies straight toward a WINDOW, breaks its neck and falls to the ground. STATIC comes out of the BABY MONITOR. FIRSTBORN occasionally stares into the space and cries.

DEMON

Behold my power!

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 10)

In the middle of the night, SPRAGUE GRAYDEN hears a POT fall from the HOOK from which it was hanging in the KITCHEN and goes downstairs to investigate. She hangs it again and goes stare out the WINDOW, when the same POT falls again.

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

(running up the stairs)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! GHOST!!!!

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAYS 11 TO 12)

FIRSTBORN stands on his CRIB in the middle of the night, staring into the space. The family DOG barks.

DEMON

Give me a break: that thing with the pot was exhausting!

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 13. PROBABLY)

MOLLY EPHRAIM is home alone baby-sitting FIRSTBORN. She falls asleep on the COUCH and when she wakes up the FRONT DOOR is open.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

That's odd.

(shrugs and closes the door)

There's a loud THUMP at the DOOR.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

(looking through the peephole and seeing no one)

I'm sure there's a good explanation for this. I'd better open the door.

(opens the door)

Yup, there's no one here. Still, I'd better go outside to investigate.

As she's outside, the DOOR slams shut, locking her out.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

Now that was unexpected.

DEMON

My plan worked! I'm alone with the baby! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now to take him out of the crib, set him down on the floor and watch as he wanders around the house for about half an hour before putting him back in the crib.

He does so. BRIAN BOLAND and SPRAGUE GRAYDEN return home and find FIRSTBORN alone. MOLLY EPHRAIM shows up after they have looked for her all over the house.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

It wasn't my fault! I got locked out of the house!

BRIAN BOLAND

Then why didn't you show yourself as soon as you saw us pull into the garage instead of letting us search the whole house looking for you?

MOLLY EPHRAIM

Who cares? What's important is that we now have proof that this house is haunted!

BRIAN BOLAND

Well, I don't believe it and I don't want to hear another word about this haunted house nonsense. Seriously, guys, I know I'm supposed to come off as the stubborn non believer, but a pot falling from a hook and a loud bang on the door does not exactly constitute compelling evidence.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAYS 14 TO 16)

Nothing happens.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 17)

MOLLY EPHRAIM hears some noise coming from downstairs in the middle of the night and finds the DEMON playing with a TRUCK TOY in the LIVING ROOM.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

Dude, I'm trying to take you seriously here, but you're not helping.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 18. OR 19. PROBABLY)

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN and KATIE FEATHERSTON are watching FIRSTBORN in the NURSERY.

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

Things are getting worse; I really think it's time we discuss what happened when we were kids.

KATIE FEATHERSTON

(covering her ears with her hands)

LALALALALALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU! CAN'T HEAR YOU!

(notices the handheld camera pointed at her)

Are you doing that thing where you film me while we're talking again?

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

Well, I--

KATIE FEATHERSTON

(covering her ears again)

CAN'T HEAR YOU!

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 19? YES, 19. DEFINITELY 19)

The DEMON hurts the family DOG. SPRAGUE GRAYDEN stays home with FIRSTBORN while BRIAN BOLAND and MOLLY EPHRAIM take the DOG to the VET. The DEMON drags SPRAGUE GRAYDEN, screaming and kicking, to the BASEMENT.

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

NO! NO! NO NO NO NONONONONO...

(is dragged into the basement and the door is shut closed after her)

An hour later, the DOOR to the BASEMENT is opened again and out comes SPRAGUE GRAYDEN, calm and collected.

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

Everything's fine now. Move along, nothing to see here. Just me, being my normal, not-at-all-possessed-by-a-demon self.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (DAY 20)

MOLLY EPHRAIM sees BITE MARKS on SPRAGUE GRAYDEN's LEG and the SECURITY FOOTAGE of the attack and shows them to BRIAN BOLAND, who then decides to call VIVIS COLOMBETTI back.

BRIAN BOLAND

Vivis says the only way to save Sprague is to send this demon after her sister Katie.

MOLLY EPHRAIM

That's awful! We can't do that to her!

BRIAN BOLAND

But it's the only way! As much as I, too, hate the idea of sending a demon after some poor, unsuspecting--

MOLLY EPHRAIM

We should send it after someone who's not family.

BRIAN BOLAND

Wow. I'm glad you only have a problem with that aspect of the plan, but, unfortunately, Vivis said it has to be a blood relative.

BRIAN BOLAND, MOLLY EPHRAIM and VIVIS COLOMBETTI prepare to perform the DEMON transference RITUAL on SPRAGUE GRAYDEN, but she attacks him and all LIGHTS go out. CHAOS ensues.

BRIAN BOLAND

(screams)

MOLLY EPHRAIM

(shrieks)

VIVIS COLOMBETTI

(screams in Spanish)

SPRAGUE GRAYDEN

(hisses)

Finally, BRIAN BOLAND manages to corner SPRAGUE GRAYDEN in the BASEMENT and touch her with a CROSS covered in OLIVE OIL.

DEMON

Really? Is that all you got?

(is cast off)

Oh. Apparently that's all it takes.

BRIAN BOLAND sets a picture of young KATIE FEATHERSTON on fire.

DEMON

I see that, in order to protect your wife and infant son, you're sending me after someone you know and who lives not far away from here, and who also often spends a lot of time alone with said wife and infant son. That sounds like a solid plan.

BRIAN BOLAND

I know, right? There's no way this will backfire.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (THREE WEEKS LATER. SO... DAY 41?)

KATIE FEATHERSTON comes to visit.

KATIE FEATHERSTON

So, Sprague, all that creepy stuff that you mentioned three weeks ago is gone now, right? I, on the other hand, have had some creepy stuff happening at my house lately, how odd is that?

BRIAN BOLAND and MOLLY EPHRAIM look away, whistling.

INT. HOUSE OF BRIAN BOLAND AND SPRAGUE GRAYDEN (OCTOBER 9TH, 2006. DAY WHICHEVER)

BRIAN BOLAND is watching TV in the LIVING ROOM when KATIE FEATHERSTON comes behind him and snaps his NECK, then goes upstairs, kills SPRAGUE GRAYDEN, takes FIRSTBORN and leaves.

DEMON

Also it seems that you sent me after someone who has an extra key to your house, and yet you never bothered to change the door locks. I really hope this baby takes after Sprague's side of the family when it comes to brains.

END