The film starts with MIRROR IMAGES of all the COMPANY LOGOS! Fun fact, if you say "Disney Plus" five times during this part, CANDYMAN will appear in the MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE and murder ALLIGATOR LOKI (so, y'know, DON'T).

INT. LAUNDRY ROOM, CABRINI-GREEN, CHICAGO - 1977

A YOUNG KID is doing laundry when he spots a HALLOWEEN TREAT thrown from a HOLE IN THE WALL.

KID

(pause)

I forget, had the "razors in Halloween candy" scare started by 1977? Seems like that was a bit later on...

GUY WITH HOOK HAND

(emerging from hole)

Actually even though 1982 was the peak of the "tampered candy" panic, its origins stretch right back to 1959! Mind you the vast majority of cases have turned out to be hoaxes of some kind, with barely any legitimate instances of OH HEY GETTING PUMMELED BY DOZENS OF COPS OOF OW FUCK SHIT OW OW

KID

Oh yeah, that would be me screaming that started that. My bad. Save Snopes, everyone!

The OPENING CREDITS once again pan through Chicago, but this time looking UPWARDS, so looks like whoever makes CANDYMAN 2050 is stuck with SIDEWAYS.

INT. FANCY UPSCALE CONDO IN THE FANCY PART OF CHICAGO - 2019, GENERALLY ACKNOWLEDGED AS THE FANCIEST YEAR OF THE 2010S

Up-and-coming artist YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II and his girlfriend, gallery owner TEYONAH PARRIS, are having a dinner party with TEYONAH'S brother NATHAN STEWART-JARRETT and his boyfriend KYLE KAMINSKY (who somehow survives this movie, what's your method?).

TEYONAH PARRIS

It's so nice to live in this EVEN MORE gentrified neighbourhood. I know some idiots are gonna complain we made Candyman woke, so just for fun let's make some of the EXACT same points as the original.

NATHAN STEWART-JARRETT

You guys want to hear a scaaary story?

(lights candles)

So I was once on this cool show with Ramsay Bolton, Klaus Hargreeves, Dr. Claire Browne, and Proinsias Cassidy, but all the good characters gradually left until the show was but a SHAMBLING HUSK OF ITS FORMER SEEEELLLLFF, oooOOOOOOOoooOOOO

(pause)

Also back in 1992 Virginia Madsen went on a crazed murder spree in and around Cabrini-Green.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Hm, what a mildly intriguing story.

(Google-maps Cabrini-Green)

Maybe I could vaguely allude to this in my next art project.

(orders 25th Anniversary Blu-Ray of "The Prophecy")

Y'know, if nothing else comes to me.

(gorges on sweets)

(corners bee market)

EXT. CABRINI-GREEN - THE NEXT DAY

YAHYA, wearing his brand-new PRINCESS IRULAN hoodie, wanders about taking PHOTOS of the area.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

But THIS time, as a professional artist in 2019, I can finally take some DECENT pictures of-

(stung by bee)

OW right on my hand too! Is there some supernatural ward against getting high-quality photographs of this place?

COLMAN DOMINGO

Hi there, I've been put in charge of providing the deep imposing voice this time around. Can I help with anything?

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

I'm curious about Ca-

COLMAN DOMINGO

CANDYMAN YOU SAY?! Why yes I'd be happy to tell you about Candyman. I was that kid in the 1977 flashback, and that hook guy was an innocent war veteran that the cops brutally beat up thinking he might be Candyman. I felt guilty about it until I learned those cops also beat up Sammy Davis Jr for having recorded "The Candyman Can", and about three dozen other guys for carrying gum. Eventually I came to realize it wasn't really my fault.

(shrugs)

Anyway, my laundromat's always open if you need any more backstory, lore, bloodstains taken out, etcetera.

INT. YAHYA'S STUDIO - THE NEXT DAY

YAHYA shows his latest paintings to TEYONAH, which are all GIANT SMUDGY VARIATIONS on CANDYMAN'S FACE.

TEYONAH PARRIS

Hm, I see you've entered your "pathologically obsessed, on the brink of a horrible downward spiral, please send help" period. Luckily for us, that tends to be an extremely profitable artistic period.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

As part of my growing fixation, I think it's time we DID THE THING with the mirror and saying the name five times and shit.

TEYONAH PARRIS

I was wondering, is there a minimum reflectivity needed for this to work? Or does the speaker just have to be AWARE of their reflection? And does the "five-time rule" have to be all in a row? Could you doom yourself bit-by-bit over a few years maybe-

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Hm or what about CANDYMAN CAN DEMAND, CAN'T HE? MAN, CANNED DEMON CAN DEEM ON... um... eh, close enough.

INT. ART GALLERY

At TEYONAH'S exhibition YAHYA shows his new work to critic REBECCA SPENCE.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

I've called this piece Say My Name, which is obviously a Destiny's Child shout-out, ha ha, what else would it be. Behind this mirror on the wall is a secret room full of my paintings, behold!

REBECCA SPENCE

Wow this is some derivative bullshit.

(vomits all over paintings)

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Not the reaction I was hoping for. But I can still make use of this opportunity to further my career!

(gets roaring drunk)

(picks fight with art dealer)

SUCKS TO THE SUCK, SUCKHEAD

(thrown out)

That went well.

After the exhibit the aforementioned art dealer, BRIAN KING, and his artist girlfriend MIRIAM MOSS set about closing up the place.

MIRIAM MOSS

You don't believe Yahya's art piece could actually be deadly right? This isn't some goofy Jake Gyllenhaal Netflix movie.

BRIAN KING

Maybe there's another way to test its summoning power.

(into mirror)

Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson, Mel GibAAGHH BEING HORRIBLY KILLED HOLY FUCK DIDN'T EVEN LET ME GET TO FIVE TIMES AAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH

MIRIAM MOSS

Well I can't really blame whatever supernatural force is doing this, I mean who'd be foolish enough to bring Mel Gibson into their franchise these days?!?

(throat slashed wide open)

Ow! That's odd, Candyman's only visible in the mirror, Kasi Lemmons got to look directly at him back in 1992! Perhaps this is a comment on how subsequent treatments of a work are a reflection of hurgle glub ack blork

(dies)

INT. LIBRARY

YAHYA decides to visit the library to learn more about VIRGINIA MADSEN.

LIBRARY ENTRYWAY SCANNER

BEEP BEEP ALERT, ALERT, THIS GUY'S HAND IS SWOLLEN TO FUCK AND OOZING PUS, DO NOT LET HIM HANDLE ANY OF THE RARE BOOK COLLECTION PLEASE AND THANK YOU

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Oh right, that bee sting.

(squeezes half-quart of discharge from seeping wound)

I really gotta pick up some Polysporin.

He contents himself with listening to some AUDIOTAPE of the first movie, along with some tracks from BLADE RUNNER 1992 DIRECTOR'S CUT RE-RELEASE since they were right there. Afterwards he gets on an ELEVATOR.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Neat, it's covered in mirrors. Let's just check... infinite reflections to my left, they look okay. Infinite reflections to my right... nothing strange. Behind and in front check out. So that just leaves one reflection overhead, and statistically speaking the odds are overwhelming it should also be fineOHFUUUUUUCK IT'S FUCKING CANDYMAAAAAN AAIIEEEEE

YAHYA flees the ELEVATOR, giving no warning to the crowd of UNIVERSITY STUDENTS waiting to get on, but they seemed kind of douchey so FUCK 'EM.

INT. REBECCA SPENCE'S PLACE

YAHYA decides to pop round REBECCA'S place.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Hey there. I thought you might reconsider my art if I provided a bit of context. That context being some low lighting, mood music, and alcohol.

(smiles)

REBECCA SPENCE

Maybe I was too harsh. Excuse me while I use the bathroom and say Candyman into the mirror either FOUR or FIVE times... hm, will I say it five times, or only four? I guess the question is... do I feel lucky, punk? Huh? Do I feel

(closes door behind her)

YAHYA walks by a full-wall mirror and sees his reflection as... CANDYMAN!!

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

OH SHIT

(cringes)

What the fuck, he did the same cringe as me!

(thinks)

(moves arm up and down)

He's imitating me precisely...

(does the running man)

(does the robot)

(dabs)

FUCK I CAN'T SHAKE HIM AAAAAAAAA

YAHYA runs out in terror, and the camera moves outside and pans WAY BACK, WAAAY WAAAAAY BACK as REBECCA emerges only to be LEVITATED AND MURDERED, while anyone watching on their TABLET squints their eyes right out of their damn head trying to see what the fuck is happening. Serves them right for using a TABLET, you gonna watch DUNE on an APPLE WATCH next?! SERIOUSLY WHAT GIVES WITH um, sorry, back to the film.

EXT. FANCY DINNER AT FANCY RESTAURANT

YAHYA meets TEYONAH and her fancy art friends for fancy dinner.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Shit, unlike 1992 there's no thick haze of smoke to hide behind. My descent into madness is clearly visible! CURSE YOU SOCIAL PROGRESS IMPROVING THE OVERALL PHYSICAL HEALTH OF ITS CITIZENS

(flees)

INT. HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOM

We are introduced to a group of DISPOSABLE TEENAGERS, one of whom we recognize from the gallery earlier! Ah, that's why we focussed on that random teenager for so long.

TEENAGER

LOLZ I think we should all do the Candyman challenge. Tik tok! Influence.

TEENAGER #2

Did we want to maintain the possibility that Yahya's running around doing all these murders himself, kind of like with Virginia Madsen? Because it seems unlikely he'd be able to magically teleport around town to wherever someone happened to be doing the Candyman thing...

TEENAGER #3

I dunno, I think we need to up the body count on this one, so let's do it. But we don't have to say "Yahya Abdul-Mateen II" five times right? That would drag on a bit...

TEENAGER #1

Oh no I'm sure regular "Candyman" will work fine.

(summons)

(torn limb from limb)

Told ya!

OTHER TEENS

(being disembowelled)

Sheesh, can 2019 GET any worse, don't answer that.

INT. YAHYA'S MOM'S APARTMENT

YAHYA pays a surprise visit to his MOM who turns out to be--

VANESSA WILLIAMS

Yes it's me, and obviously Yahya's character was my stolen baby in 1992. I mean anyone who read the cast list knows that, or anyone who just watched the original to catch up, it's not like we changed any names. Don't know why anyone would be all surprised.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

I finally got my rotting diseased hand looked at by a doctor. After they finished throwing up they checked my files, and told me I was born at Cabrini-Green! Why didn't you tell me the truth?

VANESSA WILLIAMS

I thought hiding the truth would protect you, especially since that strategy has never worked in any story ever. But I must now come clean on your connection to the vengeful ghost of a 19th-century painter, with a history of possessing people who get too close to his story.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

That seems like something you could have mentioned WHEN I STARTED A CAREER IN PAINTING.

VANESSA WILLIAMS

I wasn't sure you could call what you do "painting", really? "Randomly slapping shit down", sure, maybe...

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

UGH MOM IT'S IMPRESSIONISTIC OKAY

(storms off)

INT. COLMAN DOMINGO'S LAUNDROMAT

A short while later TEYONAH shows up looking for YAHYA.

TEYONAH PARRIS

Something weird's going on, Colman. Some kind of magical force is possessing people, altering reality, and I have a hunch at least one supporting character is secretly manipulating things. Ooh if only I had some previous experience with such situations...

(does the Kathryn Hahn Wink™)

COLMAN DOMINGO

Gosh I dunno, that sounds rather far-fetched, maybe we should HAHA IT WAS VICTOR STRAND ALL ALOOOOOONG

(chloroforms Teyonah!)

INT. SCAAARY CHURCH

TEYONAH awakens all tied up, and sees that COLMAN has also captured YAHYA, who is in some kind of TRANCE!

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

Yeah, I read about how Virginia was put into trances for the big Tony Todd scenes and I wanted to pay homage. Also that bee-sting infection has spread to like half my body which isn't helping me NOT feel like death warmed over. Anyone got some DayQuil?

(slumps over)

TEYONAH PARRIS

Fuck's sake Colman, what are you doing?

COLMAN DOMINGO

Look around you Teyonah. All these weak-ass horror reboots - Halloween, Chucky, Fantasy Island, I Know What You Did Last Summer, even fucking Dexter. We need Candyman back to help fight the tide of all that garbage!

TEYONAH PARRIS

So this was all you? You killed all those people?

COLMAN DOMINGO

Um no, that was supernatural Candyman, and maybe some of it was Yahya possessed by Candyman. I shouldn't take too much credit. Possibly none. Although I am happy to...

(chops off Yahya's hand!)

(jams hook into stump)

...LEND A HAND, HEH HEH you see there were all these bad puns last script and so I just thought maybe I should add two or three dozen

TEYONAH PARRIS

NNOOOOOPE

(breaks free!)

(runs!)

EXT. CABRINI-GREEN

TEYONAH runs to the nearby houses of CABRINI-GREEN pursued by COLMAN!

TEYONAH PARRIS

Y'know what, fuck this.

(stabs Colman dead)

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II

(staggering over)

Okay yes, maybe I should get that antibiotics prescription filled. First thing next week for sure, urkk

(collapses in Teyonah's arms)

COPS

(arriving with sirens blaring)

HEY FOLKS GUESS WHAT, EVERYONE IN COSTUME GETS FREE HALLOWEEN CANDY EXCEPT SOMEONE STUFFED BULLETS INSIDE AND FORGOT THE CANDY

(open fire)

The COPS shoot YAHYA DEAD and take TEYONAH into custody.

COP

So what clearly happened is we carefully unloaded all our guns, put the bullets in a pile on the ground, and then Yahya tripped on his long coat and fell chest-first into the pile, right? That's what any NON-accessory-to-murder would testify happened here, right?

TEYONAH PARRIS

Um sure. Oh, I think I got some boyfriend guts stuck in my hair, if I could just use your mirror to check real quick

(summons Candyman!)

COPS

(being slaughtered)

At least our union didn't make us take that murderghost vaccine! Wake up sheeple

(dead)

TEYONAH follows the trail of bodies and finds that UNDEAD YAHYA has become none other than...

TONY MOTHERFUCKING TODD

AW YEAH I'M BACK BITCHES, READY TO UNLEASH BLOODY MAYHEM ON THE UNWARY AND PROVOCATIVE SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON OUR CORRUPT INSTITUTIONS!! UNLESS OF COURSE YOU GUYS FIXED EVERYTHING WHILE I WAS AWAY

(reads last 30 years of news)

Yeah that was some wishful fucking thinking.

END