FADE IN:

TITLE CARD: ALMOST FIFTY YEARS AGO (ACK), THE CHARACTER OF SUPERMAN FINALLY GOT A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.

FIVE YEARS AGO, SUPERMAN WAS MANGLED ALMOST BEYOND RECOGNITION AND LEFT TO ROT IN THE DANK RECESSES OF THE INCELNET.

FIVE MINUTES AGO, YOU SAT DOWN TO WATCH AN ATTEMPT TO REVIVE THIS ONCE-BELOVED CHAMPION OF GOODNESS.

FIVE SECONDS AGO, YOU READ THE PREVIOUS TITLE CARD. ANYWAY--

EXT. ANTARCTICA

The calm plateau of ANTARCTICA is disupted as SUPER-DAVID-CORENSWET CRASHES into the ICE!

SUPER-CORENSWET

(weakly)

Starting this movie on an "L," what a great callback to the DC Extended Universe. Must summon Krypto, the Super-Dog!

(super-whistles)

KRYPTO jumps all over DAVID and drags him to the FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE where they are greeted by a squad of SUPER-ROBOTS, voiced by ALL JAMES GUNN'S ACTOR BUDDIES WHO HE COULDN'T FIND BIGGER ROLES FOR.

ROBO-ALAN TUDYK

(scanning)

Crushed lung, punctured kidney, internal bleeding, and that's just from the dog. But don't worry, we can repair all this damage with our ultra-alien-high-tech method of opening a window.

The robots BLAST DAVID with YELLOW SUN while also playing a damaged recording of his KRYPTONIAN PARENTS, BRADLEY COOPER and ANGELA SARAFYAN.

KRYPTO-COOPER

(dosed to the gills with Xanax)

We have sent you, our only son, to Earth, for we believe this is the world where you can do the most good...

(static)

KRYPTO-SARAFYAN

(remaining perfectly still during eye exam)

It is our dearest wish, our sincerest hope, that it is amongst these humans that you might find peace...

(static)

DAVID CORENSWET

Phew, all better! Now I must fly back to Metropolis with absolutely no change in strategy so I can continue to get pwned.

EXT. METROPOLIS

SUPERSWET zooms back to continue his fight against "THE BORAVIAN HAMMER" who has vowed revenge against SUPERSWET'S intervention in a foreign conflict but who is really under the control of NICHOLEX LUTHOULT and this whole thing is a subterfuge to help NICHOLEX locate the FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE and the vibe we're going for is that you just randomly picked up ACTION COMICS FEATURING SUPERMAN #427 so roll with it okay?

NICHOLAS HOULT

(observing from control centre)

Nyah ha ha, I have studied all Superman's fights and devised counter-measures to his every move! You'd think relaying spoken co-ordinates via radio would be a shitty plan against someone who can super-speed a dozen pulverizing blows before I can even blink, but apparently you'd be wrong.

(grins evilly)

To demonstrate, 3-M! 221-B! 401-K! I originally had the letters first but then I sounded too much like a deranged Bingo caller losing badly at Battleship.

DAVID gets CLOBBERED again but does at least manage to introduce his STREET VENDOR FRIEND for later reference.

INT. DAILY PLANET - THE NEXT DAY

DAVID reports for work in civilian form at the DAILY PLANET.

DAVID CORENSWET

At least my story of getting my ass kicked twice made the front page! Hey everyone!

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

New Lois Lane, present! I sure hope my five seasons of playing a tough, smart, sassy New Yorker who relies on keen observational skills for her job of communicating day-to-day events to a wider audience, comes in handy!

SKYLER GISONDO

(one sec, double-checking IMDB... yep that's his name all right)

New Jimmy Olsen, present! I'm doing pretty much the classic Jimmy routine, but Gunn decided it would be hilarious if I'm also an irresistible chick magnet, so, that's happening too.

WENDELL PIERCE

New Perry White, present! You may remember me from "Thunderbolts*", never a bad idea to spread your bets, right?

MIKAELA HOOVER

New Cat Grant, nominally present but clearly being saved for future projects!

BECK BENNETT

New... Steve Lombard? Is he a thing?

(shrugs)

(does SNL stuff)

CHRISTOPHER MCDONALD

(ignored)

INT. RACHEL'S PLACE

RACHEL arrives home after a long day to find an unexpected... DAVID WHAAA?!?

DAVID CORENSWET

Hey there! Thought I'd make dinner since we've been dating since "Brave and the Bold #286", try to keep up people!

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

That's great, I'd love to sink my teeth into a big juicy... interview.

(bats eyes)

DAVID CORENSWET

Wow, who knew dating the city's leading investigative journalist could lead to answering questions!! Fine, let's do this.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

(starts recorder)

So, Superman, do you have any regrets about stopping the invasion of Alestine-pay and threatening Enjamin-bay Etanyahu-nay with violence if he tried it again?

DAVID CORENSWET

Okay look I didn't see any big political metaphor, I just wanted to save lives! And at least I didn't get Jimmy Olsen killed off in the first five minutes!

The interview continues going DOWNHILL until finally DAVID goes OFF the RECORD and the HANDLE and then STORMS.

EXT. ANTARCTICA

NICHOLAS and his MINIONS land, having tracked SUPERSWET'S movements during the opening battle.

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

The Fortress is right over there, but it only rises from the ice in the presence of Corenswet DNA. Or his cousin's or his dog's I guess but he does like to insist it must be HIS DNA.

NICHOLAS HOULT

Let's just say you need... faith. Oh did we remember to bring Ultraman, the mysterious masked figure with the exact same height and build and gait and powers as Corenswet? He's here too? Okay let's go.

Suddenly the FORTRESS emerges and lets them in! MARIA and ULTRAMAN prove their formidable prowess by CURBSTOMPING A BUNCH OF WIMPY MEDICAL ROBOTS, plus MARIA wraps KRYPTO in NANITE GOO which also proves she is a MEANY PANTS.

NICHOLAS HOULT

Excellent work. Maria, please use your nanobot-powers to search the computer bank for anything we can use against David. Browser history, online purchases, etc.

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

(plugs in)

Oh my God... so many Amazon orders!! This guy is single-handedly keeping Themyscira in business I'm telling ya. But hey, I found David's parents' message, I think I can repair the damaged part! Might take a while though, and if David shows up...

NICHOLAS HOULT

No worries, I have a distraction planned. As we speak, my henchmen are releasing a tiny goober in Metropolis that, by tomorrow, will have grown into a city-squashing kaiju! Which makes it worth jack shit as a distraction right now, while we're here. Oops.

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

Maybe your henchmen released it last night, so it's being a distraction right now?

NICHOLAS HOULT

Yes much better! ...except THAT means we have about seven minutes to restore the message, gather the world's top linguists to reconstruct the entire Kryptonian language to translate it, and hire the world's top Forensic Computer Guys to verify the video, AND arrange a press conference to announce all this, which is completely ridiculous. Sooo...

(blinks)

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

(blinks)

JAMES GUNN

Shit okay SQUIRREL!!!

EXT. METROPOLIS, THE (NEXT? SAME?) DAY

Yes look SUPERSWET is saving A TINY SQURREL from NOTZILLA!!!!

SUPER-CORENSWET

It's proving awful hard to subdue this thing peacefully. "Sun's getting real low" did nothing! Could use some help--

NATHAN FILLION

Never fear, the Justice Gang is here! Yes it's me, playing Guy Gardner Green Lantern, because James Gunn needs at least one total asshole on every super-team or he gets all twitchy!

ISABELA MERCED

And me, Hawkgirl, with the powers of flight, screaming, and delivering non-lethal blows with my spikey mace!

EDI GATHEGI

And me, Mister Terrific, with the power of arriving in theatres two weeks before Mister Fantastic!

Despite SUPERSWET'S efforts the other heroes MURDER the beastie thus saving the day! However everyone's attention is then grabbed by a surprise NEWS UPDATE...

NICHOLAS HOULT

(on TV)

Attention world! I have proof that Superswet has a SECRET HAREM! A hidden FORTRESS of SEXYTIMES if you will! And was sent to conquer us but let's not forget SECRET HAREM!

He plays the newly restored RECORDING of BRADLEY COOPER and ANGELA SARAFYAN!

KRYPTO-COOPER

(in enhanced 4K)

We have sent you, our only son, to Earth, for we believe this is the world where you can do the most good---LOOKING BABES AW YEAAHHH!! MY BOY GONNA GET SOME POON TANG

(crotch-thrusts)

KRYPTO-SARAFYAN

(Dolby surround)

It is our dearest wish, our sincerest hope, that it is amongst these humans that you might find pie--CES OF ASS worth TAPPING YO! THAT'S RIGHT SON, GET YOURSELF COCK DEEP IN BITCHES AND USHER THESE MORTALS TO THE LAND OF POUND TOWN

(high-fives Bradley)

ISABELA MERCED

Ew, David.

KRYPTO-COOPER

MORE LIKE DAVID'S-WHORES-ARE-WET AMIRITE

(chest bumps)

Oh and also, don't forget to rule evilly, conquer the planet, subjugate humans, cancel every good new show prematurely, etcetera. Toodles!

NATHAN FILLION

Well fuck, that recording sure knew EXACTLY when to break off for maximum misunderstanding huh.

DAVID CORENSWET

But it's gotta be fake! I mean for the message to be bisected SO conveniently into "good half" and "evil half" like that? And you all only have Nicholas's word any of that is even FROM Krypton, maybe it's an authentic video taken on a sound stage-

EDI GATHEGI

Dammit we all need to accept it's real for the story to go anywhere, okay? So do that!

DAVID CORENSWET

Fine fine.

(mopes off)

INT. SUPERSWET'S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT

DAVID returns home to his apartment, while a giant life-sucking alien fights the JUSTICE GANG in the background all JAMES GUNN STYLE. However in the foreground RACHEL is there!

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

Is this a good time to talk, or were you planning to help with that?

(millions in property damage)

DAVID CORENSWET

Nah, I mean it's not like any squirrels are in danger. Besides, it turns out Nicholas not only destroyed my life and reputation but also stole my dog, so I gotta deal with that.

(Not-Starro flattens building full of people)

Please believe me that I only ever heard the non-evil half of that message, plus a few random ads at the start because I refuse to fork out for KryptoTube Premium.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

I do. Believe you about that, I mean, let's not get ahead of ourselves lol.

JOHN "PEACEMAKER" CENA

(on television)

Hi audience! That's right, I was in the Batfleck and Super-Cavill DCU but fuck that, all us Gunn characters get to port over to the new version, yay! Embrace the chaos!

DAVID decides the only way to find KRYPTO is to surrender to the authorities in case we forgot that he's HOPELESSLY NAIVE.

EXT. CAMP (PLOT AGAINST) DAVID

SUPERSWET dutifully turns himself in and is brought to a MERCENARY CAMP filled with HOULTCORP GOONS and other assorted employees.

FRANK GRILLO

So yeah even though you've been not formally charged or convicted of anything we've brought you to an illegal black-box site in another country to be tortured, WHERE do we GET these CCRRRRAAAAAZY IDEAS

DAVID CORENSWET

Hey, this is the same camp the alleged "Boravian Hammer" flew to and then disappeared. If this is also a HoultCorp facility then doesn't that totally blow apart that whole ruse?

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

Into the pocket universe with you!

(boots David through portal)

INT. POCKET UNIVERSE

JAMES GUNN types "Underground cyber dungeon fever dream from a meth user" into Mid-Journey's AI, and here we are.

NICHOLAS HOULT

Welcome! Turns out you actually surrendered to your arch-enemy lolz. Now you might eventually decide to use your super-powers to get out of this mess, so let me introduce Anthony "Metamorpho" Carrigan! I'm holding his son hostage so he'll obey me.

DAVID CORENSWET

How puzzling. This does look bad, yessiree. Hm. Y'know, maybe I should use my super-

NICHOLAS HOULT

BAM TOO LATE ANTHONY TURNED HIS HAND TO KRYPTONITE LOSER

DAVID CORENSWET

Fuck.

(collapses)

NICHOLAS HOULT

Let me give you the grand tour of this pocket dimension I created. Over here is my legion of online hate monkeys, who spend literally all day farming outrage and finding old tweets of various famous directors so they can get fired from doing third movies of popular film franchises, grr they suck so hard! I mean, mwah ha ha.

NICHOLAS stuffs DAVID in his BENEATH THE CABIN IN THE WOODS PRISON along with ANTHONY and KRYPTO.

NICHOLAS HOULT

Now you're going to talk, or I start killing all your closest friends! First we have... THE FOOD VENDOR GUY WHO SOLD YOU FOOD ONE TIME!! Okay clearly I'm working my way up. But confess, David, who raised you?! Who was your third grade teacher?!? WHAT WAS THE MAKE OF YOUR FIRST CAR

(shoots vendor dead)

Whoops, forgot to get any answers first. Well I'll be back tomorrow, and remember, no escapsies!

INT. HALL OF JUSTICE

NATHAN, ISABELA, and EDI are chilling when RACHEL arrives.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

Listen up, one of Skyler's sources just told us Superswet's being held in a pocket dimension and wait, are you holding a Daily Planet with that exact headline? I learned that and rushed straight over here!

ISABELA MERCED

Maybe you learned last night, wrote the story, and then since David's life is in peril and every second counts you waited before the paper was printed and delivered before rushing over here?

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

But then... goddamn what is WITH the timeline in this movie?

NATHAN FILLION

RIGHT WELL WHO CARES because we're not helping regardless. I've done every single one of Gunn's gorram superhero movies and FINALLY got a decent role, can't risk getting killed off.

EDI GATHEGI

I'll help, I put nanobots inside David ages ago and can track him. And before you ask, no, those nanobots cannot fight any other nanobots anyone else might put in him later.

EXT. BACK AT CAMP (DOWN WITH) DAVID

RACHEL and EDI arrive in the GATHEGIMOBILE.

EDI GATHEGI

The trail leads here, but to get answers I'll have to defeat all these goons in power armor and Hawaiian shirts, mostly that first set.

(grins)

Remember the Rocket and Yondu fights in Guardians 2? Well you sure will!!

JAMES GUNN fires up a JAMES GUNN SONG and EDI goes ROCKET YONDU on everyone. They find the PORTAL and enter the POCKET UNIVERSE!

INT. POCKET UNIVERSE

EDI and RACHEL perch at the edge of the portal to get their bearings.

EDI GATHEGI

This place sucks, like, it's full of black hole energy and I think that's a Minecraft river down there. We'd be instantly destroyed if we go any further, but I can send my T-Sphere drones to find David.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

Cool! Should I take a few steps back and wait on the safe side of the portal?

EDI GATHEGI

Nah, wait here in case the portal collapses, then you can die with the rest of us for no reason.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

You got it, Mr. T!

EDI GATHEGI

Do not call me that.

Over at the JAIL CELLS, ANTHONY has metamorphosed himself a new SPINE!

ANTHONY CARRIGAN

I can't sit idly by while Nicholas kills any more of your casual acquaintances. I've stopped being Kryptonite, now to heal you I just need to re-create the Sun from base elements. Surely none of the nearby humans will be hurt if I do just a li'l nuclear fusion experiment ha ha ha

(vaporizes all life in thousand-mile radius)

DAVID CORENSWET

OH ACTUALLY NO I absorbed the energy first, yeah that's it, we're fine! Everyone's fine.

DAVID rescues ANTHONY'S BABY and KRYPTO and everyone ESCAPES just as the portal collapses behind them!

ANTHONY CARRIGAN

Thank you for saving me and my child! We are in your debt. If you ever need me, just

(fucks off)

EDI GATHEGI

Hm, David's still got Kryptonite poisoning, he'll need somewhere with plenty of sun to heal.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

Take him back to the Kent farm? Got it!

(flies off in big flashy Mr. Terrific futureship)

EDI GATHEGI

I was thinking maybe NOT luring all the bad guys to his parents' house, maybe something more like Tahiti? I hear it's a magical place.

(sighs)

Anyway I gotta stay here and figure out this portal. If the heavily armed merc squad wakes up I'll just fire up a tune and crush them all again, even though Krypto ate my T-spheres that allowed me to do that.

INT. KENT FARMHOUSE

RACHEL brings DAVID to the house where he is doted on by NEVA "MA KENT" HOWELL and PRUITT "PA" TAYLOR "KENT" VINCE. While DAVID gets busy repairing his physical form AND his credibility as a genuinely nice well-raised person, suddenly there's a call from SKYLER!

SKYLER GISONDO

Okay so my source is actually Nicholas's selfie-happy girlfriend Sara Sampaio, who I can barely stand because she's pretty and fun-loving and really into me, BARRFFFFFF

(retches everywhere)

But anyway she JUST sent me a whole ream of selfies claiming it can take down Nicholas, before there were strange being-caught-in-the-act noises which I've bizarrely decided to ignore. It's maybe nothing but I've sent them to you anyway.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

(looking through photos)

Wait a sec, all these pics have incriminating evidence behind her! Way to notice detail, idiot. Hm, looks like Hoult's plan is to acquire a full half of Alestine-pay after the invasion, because Movie Lex Luthor can't resist a good land grab. This is perfect!

The next morning PRUITT and DAVID bond over a regular bowl of cereal even though DAVID probably burns a billion calories an hour on a good day.

DAVID CORENSWET

It still troubles me that I was sent here to be some kind of fascist pervert. I mean, it seems you already have more than enough.

PRUITT TAYLOR VINCE

Look son, many writers and directors have tried to tell Superman who he is and what he should do. But whatever crap they threw at you isn't who you are. You can still choose to treat the character right, with respect.

Their heartwarming moment is interrupted by DIRE NEWS!

NEVA HOWELL

Oh gosh, I just saw on the news that the invasion of Alestine-pay is back on, and a group of kids have made a flag with your logo on it! With excellent attention to the graphic design I must say.

EDI GATHEGI

(via floating-sphere radio)

Wait David! Nicholas overloaded the portal to create a dimensional rift that's gonna tear straight through Metropolis! I need your help!!

DAVID CORENSWET

(wiping off tears)

Well maybe YOU should have made an ADORABLE FLAG!

(goes to fly off, reconsiders)

But wait, the invasion is all over the news. Maybe the Justice Gang... will do the right thing. Or maybe [add names to list as future new-DCU projects announced] will help. I'm coming Edi!

EXT. METROPOLIS

With the DIMENSIONAL RIFT imminently approaching, the CITY is swiftly evacuated of ALL HUMANS and ALL THEIR PETS TOO so we can enjoy the SMASHY-SMASHY OF GIANT BUILDINGS with a clear conscience!

SCIENTIST

But my valuable research, I was on the cusp of a breakthrough that would save countless lives

(SHUT UP YOU)

The rift HITS and begins SPLITTING BUILDINGS! One huge 100-storey skyscraper is moments away from crushing EXACTLY ONE PERSON when-

SUPER-CORENSWET

Never fear, exactly one person! I'm here in the nick of time!

SUPERSWET delays the building JUST ENOUGH for the EXACTLY ONE PERSON to make it, inspiring a BIG DRAMATIC ITERATION OF THE CLASSIC THEME while most of the screen is covered in opaque dust.

EDI GATHEGI

Finally you're here! We need to get to Hoult's control room to shut this down, and I've demonstrated more than enough battle skill to take out a room full of regular human nerds, but I guess that scene is just fucking locked unless you're there with me so all I could do was wait the fuck around! Now can we please-

But they are suddenly ATTACKED FROM OFF-SCREEN by MARIA and ULTRAMAN! They all crash in a STADIUM which knocks out EDI, and the two baddies manage to stun DAVID.

NICHOLAS HOULT

(through radio)

Now for Maria to fill David's lungs with nanites, thus suffocating him! Suppose those same nanites could have gone directly to his brain but this'll be more sporting.

SUPER-CORENSWET

Wow this sucks. Maybe I should... fly really really high?

(does so)

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

Ha ha we can do that too! C'mon Ultra! We grab you, thusly!

SUPER-CORENSWET

Then maybe I should... fly downwards really really fast?

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

So what, YAWN

SUPER-CORENSWET

And then maybe I should impact the ground at 30000 mph?

MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA

....we are less good at that. Fuck, if I'd just stayed put you'd be dead now

(KERBLAAAAAAAM)

They IMPACT with a big KABLOOEY and MARIA is down for the count, which also defeats the LUNG NANITES! But ULTRAMAN is still there, and discards his tattered mask to REVEAL--

SUPER-CORENSWET

Shit, is that AMEX Black Card Super-Cavill?!? Maybe Tar Kryptonite Chris Reeve?!? Oh wait it's me, still not used to seeing MY face in the suit.

NICHOLAS HOULT

That's right, I made an evil Superclone! And he's even dumber than you, somehow!

SUPER-CORENSWET

Dumb enough to scrap Batgirl but greenlight the Flash?

NICHOLAS HOULT

Oh fuck no, not THAT dumb.

EXT. ALESTINE-PAY

Meanwhile, things are not going great and the plucky flag kid is about to DIE when--

NATHAN FILLION

Surprise, we're here after all, a whole bunch of SUPERman's FRIENDS! Wait a sec.... nah, still like Justice Gang better.

ANTHONY CARRIGAN

I was sitting at home five minutes ago, looks like I can metamorphose AND teleport!

(smashes tanks)

ISABELA MERCED

Yes, that kid's Superman flag inspired us to live up to his ideals of goodness, virtue, and trying to do the morally right thing! Now outta my way, I need to murder a defenceless old man.

EXT. METROPOLIS

Meanwhile SUPERSWET has been battling DAVID CLONENSWET but failing to get the upper hand!

NICHOLAS HOULT

You'll never win David, brain always beats brawn!

SUPER-CORENSWET

That's it! I'll summon Krypto who will pummel Clonenswet!

(whistles)

NICHOLAS HOULT

...how does that tie into my "brain over brawn" thing?? You just added more brawn.

SUPER-CORENSWET

Well my brain thought of calling my dog so there.

KRYPTO eats NICHOLAS'S flying radio thingies allowing DAVID to finally pitch CLONENSWET into an actual BLACK HOLE THAT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE A BIGGER DEAL THAN PEOPLE ARE ACTING LIKE?!??? SHOULD THE WHOLE EARTH NOT BE CRUSHED TO A SINGULARITY BY NOW?!?? Anyway, DAVID and EDI fly to NICHOLAS'S CONTROL CENTRE and effortlessly TAKE OVER!

EDI GATHEGI

Now to single-handedly fix the whole dimensional rift thingie.

(opens files)

Shit they use Linux? Okay this may take a while, argue amongst yourselves.

NICHOLAS HOULT

This isn't over David, I'm still authorized by the government to neutralize your alien threat!

SUPER-CORENSWET

I'm as human as you, give or take being able to melt your face with my eyes! But I wake up every day and try my best and screw up a lot, which no other race of beings in the entire universe does! Just an endless parade of unsleeping apathetic perfectoids out there, apparently.

NICHOLAS HOULT

I have the perfect comeback to that argument, and I don't care HOW much Gunn likes the "sudden off-screen attack" trope, I won't let that stop-

Suddenly NICHOLAS is ATTACKED from OFF-SCREEN by KRYPTO! Everyone SCREAMS and PANICS as though they haven't just witnessed super-people bludgeoning each other for two hours. Finally that ends and all the televisions blast RACHEL'S TOP STORY that NICHOLAS is EVIL, putting the final nail in the coffin of his plans!

NICHOLAS HOULT

Dammit I should have done like Bezos said and just bought the Daily Planet in the first place.

Our heroes WIN! DAVID uses the PORTAL to free all of NICHOLAS'S prisoners, even JAMES MARSDEN and FAMKE JANSSEN! NICHOLAS is carted off to SUPER-VILLAIN-JAIL and DAVID and RACHEL meet up.

RACHEL BROSNAHAN

Wow, after all that you must be David Pourin'-Sweat lol.

SUPER-CORENSWET

AHEM PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO INTERVIEW ME IN THIS CONVENIENT HOTEL SUITE MISS BROSNAHAN STRICTLY FOR PROFESSIONAL PURPOSES OF COURSE, OH HEY WHERE DID THAT JACUZZI COME FROM

ENTIRE POPULATION OF METROPOLIS

smdh

INT. FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE - A SHORT TIME LATER OR MAYBE THREE DAYS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS IN THIS UNIVERSE

DAVID checks in with the ROBOTS who have SELF-REPAIRED JUST FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING, DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE CARED.

ROBO-TUDYK

I have chosen a new name, which is Gary. Hope you don't mind.

DAVID CORENSWET

No problem, I'm all about people living as their authentic selves. You heard me assholes, Superman says--very, very, very subtly--trans rights!

Suddenly a crashing noise and commotion announces the arrival of... SUPER-MILLY-ALCOCK WHAAAAAA?!?!!???

MILLY ALCOCK

It's me, Drunk Supergirl! Have you told Rachel about me yet or are you still doing the "I lost everything from my home planet" routine? I wonder if Mon-El is around here somewhere...

DAVID CORENSWET

Uh quick SONG MONTAGE TIME!!

The SUPER-ROBOTS cue up "PUNKROCKER" and beam it directly into the AUDIENCE'S BRAINS where it plays on CONSTANT REPEAT for the next THREE SOLID DAYS.

CREDITS

EXT. THE MOON

SUPERSWET and KRYPTO gaze at EARTH to provide some handy promotional material for the film.

MORE CREDITS

EXT. METROPOLIS

WONDER WOMAN and MARTIAN MANHUNTER face off against DARKSEID hahaha jk DAVID and EDI stand next to one of the patched-back-together buildings and stare at a crack in the wall.

DAVID CORENSWET

I'm just saying it's still a liiiittle bit off. Not to be ungrateful but if we could maybe polish this up juuuuust a bit more, maybe we could be that much happier with this whole endeavour...

EDI GATHEGI

(staring directly at David, expressionless)

MARTHA, WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME

DAVID CORENSWET

Okay point taken, good job, forget I said anything.

END