FADE IN:

EXT. HOUSE

JENNIFER LAWRENCE and her mother ELISABETH SHUE move into their new house next to a house that's at the end of the street.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

I'm a bitter city person who would rather be with her Dad. So, I'll be doing a lot of whining.

ELISABETH SHUE

And I'll be trying to make up for whatever it is you're so bitter about.

They hang out with locals JOY TANNER and her son NOLAN GERARD FUNK and talk about the house at the end of the street.

JOY TANNER

You know that girl who was shown murdering her parents in the first scene in the movie? Well her brother is living alone inside the house. His sister ran off after the murders and HER BODY WAS NEVER FOUND.

ELISABETH SHUE

Subtle.

JOY TANNER

Rumor has it that she lives in the woods. You know, the ones that are between your house and that one? So there will be lot of screen shots of the woods with ominous sounds. Anyway, Jennifer, meet my son Nolan. He's awesome.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

I bet he's actually a dick.

NOLAN GERARD FUNK

Maybe so. Why don't you come to a party with me and we'll find out?

INT. HOUSE PARTY

Everybody is getting trashed. JENNIFER sits on a bed waiting for the bathroom and NOLAN joins her.

NOLAN GERARD FUNK

(actual line)

I'm pitifully horny.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Wow. That's about as hot as guys who shave their chest hair and then let it partially grow back so that it's prickly. My vagina just slammed shut. Fuck off.

NOLAN doesn't fuck off because he really is a dick. JENNIFER leaves the party and has to walk home alone. The guy who lives at the house at the end of the street, MAX THIERIOT, drives by.

MAX THIERIOT

Can I give you a ride?

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

No thanks. Stranger Danger.

MAX THIERIOT

But it's about to rain.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

No it isn't.

It starts raining. JENNIFER gets in the car with MAX.

MAX THIERIOT

Hi nice to meet you. My name's Max-

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

So your parents are dead?

MAX THIERIOT

Jesus do you have any decorum? But yeah, my sister killed them. But now I live alone, all alone, in solitude, with absolutely nothing to hide. And I like to write. Any other obtrusive questions?

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

I noticed you get up really early, why?

MAX THIERIOT

(actual line... again)

Because that's when all the best thoughts aren't taken yet.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

I bet your writing is exquisite. I see you use cassette tapes. Does having a dead family mean you have to stay behind in technology?

MAX THIERIOT

Nope. Later you'll see me using a Mac.

After MAX drops JENNIFER off, he goes to his house where he brings a tray of food to his basement where A GIRL, presumedly his crazy sister, lives. She attacks him but he sedates her.

EXT. HOSPITAL WHERE ELISABETH WORKS

ELISABETH makes friends with POLICE OFFICER GIL BELLOWS.

GIL BELLOWS

I'll spare you from having to look this up. I'm the guy Tim Robbins taught to read in "The Shawshank Redemption". Try not to think too hard about that movie instead of this one. They aren't comparable. Anyway, about your weird hermit neighbor with the dead family you moved next door to... what are your concerns?

ELISABETH SHUE

Other than the dead family stuff, what do you know about him?

GIL BELLOWS

Oh he's fine. Very nondescript. Much like Norman Bates at first IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

INT. HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET

JENNIFER gives MAX a CD of herself playing music.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Why do you have so much food here? And a room upstairs left exactly the way your sister left it?

MAX THEIRIOT

No reason. Oh, when I was a child, I was watching my sister while my parents were getting loaded. She fell off a swing and got brain damage, and my parents blamed me. That's why she killed them years later, because of that brain damage.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Uh huh. Yeah I hear that can happen.

Later, THE GIRL escapes. She runs to JENNIFER'S house but MAX catches her.

INT. JENNIFER'S HOUSE

JENNIFER, MAX and ELISABETH have dinner together.

ELISABETH SHUE

Listen Max, even though I just invited you here, I really wanted to tell you I find you creepy as hell so leave Jennifer the fuck alone.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

As a rebellious teenager, forbidding me from seeing Max only makes me want to make 100 babies with him.

MAX THEIRIOT

We won't spend any time alone, Elisabeth. Promise.

EXT. HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET

MAX and JENNIFER are hanging out ALONE. MAX shows JENNIFER a TREE.

MAX THEIRIOT

What do you see in that tree?

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

A tree.

MAX THEIRIOT

Actually, it's an obvious metaphor that you're hanging out with a lunatic.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

You're right! I see a face in the tree. Let's go make out.

They do. THE GIRL escapes AGAIN and MAX tells JENNIFER to get out before she can see THE GIRL. MAX chases down THE GIRL, kills her, buries her, and then goes to a diner where a waitress gives him free cake. Later, MAX calls JENNIFER when she's practicing with her band.

MAX THEIRIOT

You're this new in town and already in a band? Anyway, sorry about rushing you out; give me another chance.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

OK. I'll be at Battle of the Bands later because apparently they still have those.

MAX goes to Battle of the Bands where NOLAN destroys his car. MAX breaks his leg with his bare hands and then runs away while JENNIFER drives to his house.

INT. HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET

JENNIFER goes inside MAX'S house after stopping NOLAN'S friends from trying to burn it down. She finds an empty box of tampons and blue contact lenses. She then finds the basement room where GIRL attacks her, despite the fact that she's supposed to be dead. MAX comes home.

MAX THEIRIOT

Hey sis stop that! Jennifer, go upstairs and I'll explain everything!

JENNIFER goes upstairs.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Maybe I should leave. It seems like a bad idea to hang out with guys who keep girls locked in their house. Nah, I'll stay and see where this goes.

MAX comes upstairs and tries to explain to JENNIFER the plot.

MAX THEIRIOT

My sister died that day she fell off the swing. I killed my parents because they dressed me like a girl and beat me. I kidnap and keep girls here and pretend they are my sister. Now you will be that girl. So I have to get rid of this most recent one, that poor waitress, and tie you up in the room.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Shit. I should have left then. That explains the tampons, but why do you need to have the blue contacts lenses?

MAX THEIRIOT

My sister had blue eyes. I must have her near me so that I can protect her, even though I'm the one who is a murderous psychopath. Get it?

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

No.

JENNIFER tries to leave, but MAX assaults her and forces her into his basement. Meanwhile, ELISABETH is concerned about JENNIFER and asks GIL to face inevitable death by going to MAX'S house where they confront each other.

GIL BELLOWS

Max dammit I believed in you! Even though by the preview I should have known you were the bad guy.

MAX kills GIL. JENNIFER escapes and ELISABETH shows up to rescue her. MAX stabs ELISABETH, but JENNIFER uses GIL'S gun to shoot him several times in the chest.

EXT. JENNIFER'S HOUSE

ELISABETH and JENNIFER are packing their truck to move.

ELISABETH SHUE

Jennifer, what the hell are you doing?

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Looking at face tree. Mom, what do you see?

ELISABETH SHUE

A tree.

JENNIFER sheds a tear.

ELISABETH SHUE

This guy you're shedding a tear over kidnapped and killed women. He must also be a superhero because he can break legs with his bare hands and survive being shot in the chest several times.

INT. PRISON CELL

MAX is completing a huge puzzle that is probably supposed to be symbolic but isn't at all.

MAX THEIRIOT

Well this was disappointing. I could have at least revealed a cool Frances Dolarhyde tattoo. That guy had direction. This movie is like what would happen if a bunch of better movies got drunk, had sloppy sex and conceived an inbred bastard child nobody wanted to see.

END.