FADE IN:

EXT. HILL VALLEY - 1985

MICHAEL J. FOX is riding his skateboard to school by holding onto the back bumpers of cars while a COOL HUEY LEWIS song blares in the background.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL

PRINCIPAL

Well, well, Michael J. Fox. Aren't you a little old to be playing a senior in high school? Why don't you get a role as an adult some time? What's the matter, Chicken?

MICHAEL J. FOX

Nobody... calls me

(voice crack)

chicken.

CLAUDIA WELLS

I'm his girlfriend and I really have nothing to do with the story except that I help establish that Michael can play the guitar and that his best friend in the whole world is, like, a 50-year old scientist, which is kind of weird.

INT. MICHAELS HOUSE - NIGHT

THOMAS F. WILSON

I'm the bad guy. I act like a real asshole by hitting on Michael's mom and making his pathetic wiener dad do my work. I'm here to show what a loser family Michael has.

AUDIENCE

When does he go back in time and crack his voice saying all those cute quotes we heard in the trailer?

DIRECTOR ROBERT ZEMEKIS

Be patient! If I don't establish what a shitty life Michael has in 1985, then he won't have anything to go back in time and change.

EXT. TWIN PINES MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

I'm the crazy wacky scientist who built a time machine so that I can travel around time and learn more about mankind. I'm not at all interested in altering history or finding out about my own future because YOU MUST NEVER KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR OWN FUTURE. This point will be beaten into you during the movie.

MICHAEL J. FOX

Are you telling me that you built a time machine...out of a

(crack)

Delorean?

AUDIENCE

There it was!

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

Now we must have a long dialogue about how my machine runs. I will tell you how I came to know about time travel because it is important later. I will then tell you how it's fueled with plutonium.

MICHAEL J. FOX

Are you telling me that this sucker..is

(crack)

nuclear?

AUDIENCE

Another one! He's so cute! And only 26 years old...

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

I stole the plutonium from some terrorists. Oh, speak of the devil, here they come now. I bet they're pissed off.

The terrorists are armed. They proceed to blow CHRISTOPHER to shit.

MICHAEL leaps into the machine and travels back in time.

EXT. FARM - 1955

AUDIENCE

Well, it's about damn time.

MICHAEL eventually reaches downtown Hill Valley, only to realize that he's in 1955. He wanders into a diner and sits down for breakfast next to CRISPIN GLOVER, his father!

THOMAS F. WILSON

I'm a jerk here, too. I bully Crispin around and it's always been like that.

His dad leaves for some reason. MICHAEL chases him down a street and saves him from being hit by a car. As a result, MICHAEL is hit by the car. The family that takes him in is HIS MOM'S FAMILY! DIRECTOR ROBERT ZEMEKIS makes a lot of funny time warp references now.

LEA THOMPSON

Good morning Calvin.

MICHAEL J. FOX

You're my..

(crack)

You're my..

(crack)

You're my ma....

LEA THOMPSON

Your name is Calvin right? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear.

MICHAEL J. FOX

..and you're an idiot, too, apparently.

LEA THOMPSON

Would you like to watch tv and show in witty, comical ways how different life is in the 80's?

MICHAEL runs away and finds CHRISTOPHER LLOYD and uses the information about time travel to convince him that MICHAEL is really from the future. Thus ensues a long dialogue about using lightning to send him home and how his mother is now in love with him because her dad hit him with the car instead of his dad. Also, they once again mention that YOU MUST NEVER KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR OWN FUTURE

MICHAEL J. FOX

Are you saying that my mom..has got the

(crack)

hots for me?

AUDIENCE

He's so adorable.

MICHAEL spends a week trying to get his parents to go to the ENCHANTMENT UNDER THE SEA dance, which they would have gone to had MICHAEL not screwed it all up.

MICHAEL also has to deal with THOMAS F. WILSON, bad guy and king of screwing up cliches.

THOMAS F. WILSON

Why don't you make like a tree.. and kill two birds with one early worm?

The dance finally rolls around. MICHAEL gets his parents together by getting the crap kicked out him by WILSON and playing "Johnny B. Goode" for the high schoolers. Also, WILSON gets slapped around a bit by CRISPIN.

MICHAEL J. FOX

This is my last cute little remark. If you guys ever have kids and one of them, when he's 8 years old,

(crack)

accidentally sets fire to the living room rug? Go easy on 'im.

LEA THOMPSON

Yes, I'm sure we'll remember that.

EXT. CLOCK TOWER - ALMOST 10 O'CLOCK

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

We are going to send you home and have a tearful goodbye now, because you know that I'm dead in the future, but I refuse to listen to you trying to save me because YOU MUST NEVER KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR OWN FUTURE.

Michael goes back to the future.

EXT. LONE PINE MALL PARKING LOT - NIGHT - 1985

He gets to disturbingly watch CHRISTOPHER being shot again and his other self get whisked away in the machine. He is crying over CHRISTOPHER'S body. Suddenly, he wakes up!

MICHAEL J. FOX

I don't understand. What about all that "knowing too much about your own future" crap?

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

Well, I've been stressing that the whole movie, and it's a good life lesson to take away from the film and all, but on the other hand, we still need a wacky, zany character to be in the sequels in order to continue hypocritically stressing the fact that YOU MUST NEVER KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR OWN FUTURE.

INT. MICHAELS HOUSE - MORNING

MICHAEL'S life is completely turned around. His parents are happy, THOMAS works for his dad instead of the other way around, and his girlfriend is now played by ELIZABETH SHUE! When suddenly...CHRISTOPHER LLOYD comes varooming in the driveway with the time machine.

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

I've come to take you and your girlfriend to the future. We have to do something about your kids!

They all jump into the machine and head for 2015.

SUPER: TO BE CONTINUED....

AUDIENCE

WHAT THE HELL? You mean there's gonna be more? It's not over yet?

DIRECTOR ROBERT ZEMEKIS

Don't worry, Michael will get to make more cute remarks while his voice cracks. And he'll only be 30 years old, too.

END