How to Write an Abridged Script

Writing an Abridged Script seems easy, which is probably why so many rejected contributions prove otherwise. The basic idea is simple: retell the movie in a compressed screenplay format while making jokes, identifying flaws, and still following the story closely enough that a reader can understand what happened.

That balance is the hard part. A good Abridged Script is not just a plot summary with insults taped to it, and it is not a loose collection of jokes that happens to use character names from a movie. It should feel like a short, meaner, funnier version of the film.

Script Elements

Abridged Scripts use a stripped-down screenplay format. These are the pieces you need to know:

  1. Scene Headings - These identify the location, such as INT. YOUR MOM'S CAR or EXT. NEW YORK. INT means interior, EXT means exterior.
  2. Action text - Regular prose describing what happens onscreen. For example: JULIA opens the fridge and guzzles MILK.
  3. Characters - The names before dialogue that identify who is speaking.
  4. Dialogue - The lines characters say. Abridged Scripts are mostly dialogue, so this is where most of the writing has to work.
  5. Parentheticals - Short notes describing what a character does while speaking, such as (cutting celery).
  6. Transitions - Scene-change commands like CUT TO: or FADE TO:.

Formatting

Send scripts as plain text. Do not try to recreate screenplay formatting in Microsoft Word. That creates formatting debris, which is less useful than plain text and harder to publish.

Use something we call Simple Script Markup. It does not have to be perfect, but a halfway-decent attempt makes the script much easier to edit and publish.

You basically just start character names, dialogue, and parentheticals with a space, as if to indent them a bit. Character names should be in all caps and end in a colon.

Here is the basic format:

FADE IN:

INT. A BUILDING

This is action text.  It describes what is happening in a scene.

 JOHN:
 Character names and dialogue both start with a space.

 JANE:
 (interrupting)
 Don't forget about parentheticals!

 JOHN:
 Right, those start with space too.  Character names also end with colons.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

Scene changes end in a colon but don't start with a space.  Notice also that there are no linebreaks in order to force word-wrapping.  Word-wrapping is handled automatically, you can just make lines as long as you want.

END

Submissions written in Celtx .celtx format, Final Draft’s .fdx format, or Fountain’s .fountain format are also accepted, but plain text is best. Do not send PDFs.

Abridged Script Conventions

These are guidelines, not sacred commandments. Still, they exist because years of submissions have made the same problems extremely familiar.

Scene Headings

  • Do not write a scene-by-scene breakdown of the movie. Compress aggressively. If two scenes happen in the same location with another scene between them, consider folding the middle scene's important information into dialogue without leaving the location.
  • Do not change scenes for minor location shifts. If a character moves from a NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT to a NEW YORK CITY OFFICE, EXT. NEW YORK may be enough, with action text explaining the change.
  • After a new scene heading, use action text to establish where the scene is, who is present, and why the scene matters. The first thing after a heading should not be unexplained dialogue.

Action Text

  • Keep action text short. Instead of writing "SO-AND-SO types into the computer, which displays 'PLEASE INSERT DISK' on the screen," create a COMPUTER character and let it say "Please Insert Disk." Dialogue is usually faster and funnier than a wall of explanation.
  • Action text should rarely criticize the movie directly. Treat it like an objective narrator. If the movie is stupid, a character should reveal that through dialogue or behavior.
  • In normal screenplays, a character's name is capitalized the first time they are introduced in action. In an Abridged Script, action text uses ALL CAPS for every ACTOR NAME or RELATIVELY IMPORTANT NOUN. This applies only to action text; names should use normal casing in dialogue and parentheticals.

Characters

  • If the actor appears onscreen, use the actor's full name instead of the character name. If the actor voices something animated, use CGI ACTOR-NAME. Character names are acceptable only when the actor or character is genuinely minor.
  • Avoid names like GIRL FROM THAT OTHER MOVIE or GUY FROM TV SHOW. If you want to reference another role, do it in dialogue or action text. Give the actors their real names.
  • Introduce major characters, usually in action text, before they speak. A character should not appear for the first time because the script suddenly needed a line delivered.
  • Spellcheck actors' names. Use IMDB.com. If you are going to mock someone professionally, start by spelling the name correctly.
  • Not every character belongs in the script, even if the actor is famous. If a character does not advance the plot or the part of the plot you are covering, consider cutting them.

Dialogue

  • Every line of dialogue should be a joke, a criticism of the movie, or the setup to a joke. If a line only advances the plot, either make it funny or cut it.
  • Keep dialogue short. More than three sentences in one speech is usually too much. Break up long exchanges with action, interruptions, or even a simple (pause).
  • Avoid long stretches of "talking heads" where characters only stand around exchanging lines. Add action text when the scene needs movement or a reset.
  • Characters may summarize themselves when they first appear. For example: "Hi Protagonist, I'm going to be painfully unfunny comic relief for the next two hours." Once a character has been established, this kind of introduction has expired.
  • Dialogue often includes verbal sparring. Do more than have characters say "fuck you" or "shut up" back and forth. Insults are not automatically jokes.
  • Feel free to imitate distinctive accents or speech patterns, as long as the result is readable. If it can be sounded out and understood, it is probably fine.

Parentheticals

  • Use parentheticals for small actions that sit naturally inside dialogue. If a character says a line, slaps someone, and then says another line, a parenthetical may be cleaner than a separate action paragraph.
  • Put parentheticals on their own line, not in the middle of a sentence.
  • Unlike real screenplays, Abridged Scripts may place parentheticals after dialogue when the action happens after the line, such as (runs away).
  • Do not overuse them. Use action text for larger or more important actions.

Transitions

  • Transitions are rarely necessary. Do not end every scene with CUT TO:. Use a transition only when the transition itself matters.
  • Abridged Scripts start with FADE IN: and end with END.

Most Common Rejection Reasons

Most rejected scripts fail for one or more of these reasons. Avoid them and your odds improve considerably, which is not the same as a guarantee, but is at least better than ignoring the list and hoping for mercy.

  • Not Enough Jokes - This is the most common problem. Some scripts are just long lists of criticisms without enough actual comedy. Pointing out a flaw is necessary, but simply stating the flaw is not automatically a joke.
  • Too Much 4th Wall Breaking - Characters should generally act like heightened versions of their movie selves, not like people who know they are in a movie. Occasional awareness can work, but too much turns every character into the author's complaint delivery system. Most 4th-wall jokes can be rewritten from inside the film's world.
  • Any 5th Wall Breaking - The 4th wall is when characters know they are in a movie. The 5th wall is when characters know they are in an Abridged Script on this website. Any reference to the author, the site, or Abridged Scripts themselves is an instant rejection. Do not do this, even if the joke seems hilarious in your head.
  • Not Following The Movie - Abridged Scripts should make sense to people who have not seen the movie. Cover the major story beats, character motivations, and scene-to-scene logic. The script can be compressed and cruel, but it still needs to track the actual film.
  • Too Slow - Get to the main story quickly. For example, The Hangover is about three guys waking up in Vegas unable to remember the previous night and needing to find their missing friend, so an abridged version should reach that premise almost immediately. Compress the setup, then go back and sharpen the opening after the rest of the script works.
  • Too Long - Abridged Scripts are supposed to be short. Try to stay around 1,500 words. Complex or unusually long movies may need more space, but length should be earned. Tight wording often lets one exchange handle plot, criticism, and jokes at the same time.
  • Tired Tropes - Some ideas have appeared often enough that using them is a fast way to make a script feel stale. Yes, this is hypocritical. No, hypocrisy does not make the tropes fresh again. Examples include:
    • Using the AUDIENCE as a character, especially a specific audience segment like BOOK FANS IN AUDIENCE or MEN IN AUDIENCE. It usually reads as the author inserting themself into the script.
    • Using "(actual line)" for any line that is merely kind of dumb. Save it for lines so ridiculous that readers would otherwise assume you invented them.
    • Starting in INT. HOLLYWOOD STUDIO with the meeting that greenlights the movie. Just get to the movie's plot.
    • References to "enduring" or "sitting through" the movie. Nobody watches a movie against their will; they can just leave.
  • Being Wrong - Abridged Scripts point out flaws, but inventing plot holes by ignoring the movie's own explanations makes the author look uninformed. Do the research. Use IMDB and TheMovieSpoiler.com. If you take a shot at the movie, don't miss.
  • Too Many In-Jokes - Scripts by fans can be excellent because they know the material well. The danger is writing mostly for other die-hard fans. Make sure the jokes work for regular readers too, and avoid sounding like a source-material purist angry that the movie changed things.
  • Future Awareness - Older movies should generally be mocked from the perspective of when they were released. A few later references can be fine, but overdoing it makes the script feel smug, especially when all the jokes compare the movie unfavorably to newer versions with better effects, bigger budgets, or the benefit of hindsight.
  • No Ending - Endings are hard, but do not let the script drag or simply stop. Save a strong criticism for the final line, or use the ending to summarize the script's main complaint about the movie.