Terminator Salvation: The Abridged Script
By Rod | Jun 6th, 2009 |
75 Comments
| Movie: 
John Connor lingers just a bit too long after walking in on a T-600 taking a leak.
This script was featured on Cracked.com. To read it there, follow this link.
FADE IN:
INT. SKYNET BASE
CHRISTIAN BALE and a team of ROBOT FODDER break into a SKYNET military base which, despite the fact that it is made for machines instead of humans, is designed to make it easy for humans to move around.
CHRISTIAN BALE
It looks like Skynet is taking human prisoners. Something’s different. This isn’t the future my mother warned me about. That future definitely had lasers, I’m sure of it. That future would have been totally sweet.
MICHAEL IRONSIDE
Bale! You’re a loose cannon! You’ve destroyed over half the city! I’ve got the mayor breathing down my neck!
CHRISTIAN leaves the BASE only to discover a bunch of TERMINATORS taking more humans prisoner.
CHRISTIAN BALE
I must chase after them! If only there were an easily damageable vehicle that, when damaged, would maximize my chance of fatality! Oh, a helicopter, perfect!
CHRISTIAN grabs a HELICOPTER, which results in a CRASH that somehow leaves him unscathed. A CRIPPLED TERMINATOR chases him, but it is killed by BULLETS. Plain old, regular BULLETS. The kind that couldn’t kill TERMINATORS in the other movies.
EXT. POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND
SAM WORTHINGTON wanders into the ruins of a city. He is attacked by a TERMINATOR THAT LOOKS LIKE DOLPH LUNDGREN but rescued by ANTON YELCHIN.
ANTON YELCHIN
Come with me if you want to live.
SAM WORTHINGTON
Actually I’ve read the rest of the script for this movie, I’ll just stay here, thanks.
ANTON drops some TRASH on the TERMINATOR and kills it.
SAM WORTHINGTON
What the hell was that thing?
ANTON YELCHIN
Where have you been? That was a Terminator!
SAM WORTHINGTON
No it wasn’t. Terminators are scary. That thing was wearing a headband.
ANTON YELCHIN
So who are you anyway?
SAM WORTHINGTON
I’m a prisoner that was executed in 2004. I donated my body to science because Helena Bonham Carter asked me to and she was bald with perfectly plucked eyebrows, the international moviemaking symbol for someone with cancer.
ANTON YELCHIN
Nothing suspicious about that, let’s become reluctant partners!
INT. RESISTANCE BASE
CHRISTIAN BALE gets a lecture from MICHAEL IRONSIDE while IVAN G’VERA translates.
MICHAEL IRONSIDE
You don’t play by the rules, Bale! You think you’re above the law! I’m taking you off the case!
IVAN G’VERA
Mr. Ironside wants you to be aware that you and your teenage father have both been targeted by Skynet.
CHRISTIAN BALE
My father? I can’t let that happen, it would create a time paradox that wouldn’t really matter since this whole franchise just seems to make up the rules of time travel whenever it wants!
MICHAEL IRONSIDE
Turn in your gun and badge! You’re suspended until further notice!
IVAN G’VERA
Mr. Ironside also wants you to know that his team has figured out how to turn the machines off using an audio clip.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Does it secretly mimic the remote shutdown code?
IVAN G’VERA
Nah, it’s just a track off Eminem’s new album. When the machines hear it, they kill themselves. I’m pretty sure he rhymes “rubbers” with “rubbers”.
EXT. POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND
SAM and ANTON drive an amazingly-still-functioning car around a bit until they attract the attention of MEGATRON.
An incredibly LOUD action sequence follows with a bunch of EXPLOSIONS.
ANTON YELCHIN
Wow, it’s all of the action of Terminator 2, without the reason to give a shit!
DIRECTOR MCG
Dude, what do you expect from me? I only have one name. And it lacks vowels.
MEGATRON captures them along with a bunch of other people. SAM escapes and runs into MOON BLOODGOOD, whose name is MOON BLOODGOOD.
MOON BLOODGOOD
Who are you? And why is McG introducing a bunch of new characters nobody cares about?
SAM WORTHINGTON
I don’t remember anything. Surely that’s not alarming to someone who ought to be living in a constant state of paranoia.
MOON BLOODGOOD
I see. Well let’s set up camp for the night. We can start a large fire to attract as many invincible murderous robots as possible. Tomorrow I’ll take you to see Christian Bale.
SAM WORTHINGTON
He’s not going to do that stupid Batman voice is he?
MOON BLOODGOOD
Hilariously enough, he is!
MOON and SAM make their way to the SUPER SECRET RESISTANCE HIDEOUT, SOLD SEPARATELY.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Sam Worthington is a machine! Strap him up, no ultra-powerful cyborg can possibly break out of a couple chains.
SAM WORTHINGTON
I’m a cyborg? How shocking to absolutely nobody since the trailer showed it!
CHRISTIAN BALE
You’re a different kind of model, I’ve never seen a Terminator with human organs before.
SAM WORTHINGTON
Skin is an organ, numbnuts.
CHRISTIAN BALE
…you and me are done professionally, man.
CHRISTIAN sulks around other parts of the base and listens to the tapes his MOTHER made for him, which have been needlessly rerecorded with slightly different lines.
MOON BLOODGOOD
I think you should let Sam go. When he and I were alone, he decided not to rape me, and “doesn’t rape people” is pretty much the only moral barometer in action movies.
CHRISTIAN BALE
No. How am I supposed to become the leader of the human resistance if I go around listening to people with more information than me?
MOON decides to free SAM. There is a dark but extremely loud chase sequence and eventually CHRISTIAN confronts SAM.
SAM WORTHINGTON
Listen, I need to go rescue Anton Yelchin, he has to be on the Star Trek set in half an hour.
CHRISTIAN BALE
He eventually grows up to become my father! I will allow you to attempt to rescue him so he can have sexual intercourse with my mother.
SAM goes to the MACHINE CITY where he is captured by machines. CHRISTIAN BALE says goodbye to his wife, BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Alright, let me just stick this flash drive into a killer motorcycle and take it over. It’s a good thing the Terminators are backwards compatible with USB 2.0.
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
Please tell me that this isn’t how the movie has decided to portray all of the “you re-programmed me” stuff from the other movies.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Goodbye, wife who is not Claire Danes. I’m heading into the machine headquarters to rescue the guy who I later send back in time so that he can continue to be my father and I can continue to exist. Yeah, I just said that. Anyway, I’LL BE BACK.
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
Ugh, this whole movie isn’t just going to be a series of winks and nods to the audience members that saw the other movies, is it? Because that’s what Terminator 3 was, and it sucked big metal cyborg balls.
CHRISTIAN BALE
No, that was the last in-joke. The rest of the movie is painfully serious.
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
Okay good.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Just as soon as I listen to the same Guns N’ Roses album that I listened to in the second movie, a copy of which somehow survived the nuclear holocaust.
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
At least it isn’t Chinese Democracy.
CHRISTIAN drives to MACHINELAND. Meanwhile, SAM awakes in a room with a BIG MONITOR (very useful for machines) with HELENA BONHAM CARTER’S FACE on it.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
Hello Sam. Thank you. You have lured Christian Bale here. Our plan all along was to release you, at which point you could earn his trust and tell him that his teenage father has been captured, causing him to attempt a rescue that we could anticipate and prevent!
SAM WORTHINGTON
Why not just kill his teenage father?
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
…
SAM WORTHINGTON
Did you seriously not think of this?
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
CHRISTIAN BALE arrives and is attacked by CGI ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, HOLY SHIT! ARNOLD throws CHRISTIAN around a lot rather than snapping his neck, just to be NICE.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Whoa, I’m getting my ass kicked by the first T-800. It’s kind of too bad you had to be CGI, though.
CGI ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Are you kidding? This is the most realistic performance of my career.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Well it’s costing about a million dollars per frame, so let’s move this along.
CHRISTIAN BALE dumps a load of MOLTEN STEEL on ARNOLD and it melts his skin off, converting him back into a regular boring robot.
CHRISTIAN BALE
What the fuck? That was molten steel. That’s the thing that kills you in Terminator 2.
CHRISTIAN escapes ARNOLD and finds ANTON.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Anton! It’s very important you live. It’s also very important you switch from briefs to boxers, you gotta keep that sperm count up.
ANTON YELCHIN
We need to destroy this factory, especially considering that it’s not supposed to exist for like 10 more years.
CHRISTIAN BALE
We can detonate the power cells. Terminators are powered by explosive nuclear cells.
ANTON YELCHIN
Lemme make sure I have the rules straight. Things that can go back in time: metal endoskeletons, computer chips, liquid metal, robots with rocket launcher arms, small nuclear devices. Things that cannot: a gun, clothing.
CHRISTIAN and ANTON detonate the nuclear cells and survive the ensuing nuclear explosion.
EXT. BACK AT RESISTANCE HEADQUARTERS
CHRISTIAN is severely injured from the encounter. BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD and SAM WORTHINGTON fret over him.
CHRISTIAN BALE
The T-800 ruptured my heart. The fact that I’ve survived longer than 0.2 seconds is astonishing.
SAM WORTHINGTON
I shall achieve true terminator salvation. Bryce, give Christian my heart.
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
Yeah, I’m a veterinarian. Unless you’re both kitty cats, this is a bad plan.
BRYCE somehow saves CHRISTIAN but everyone probably dies a year later from being exposed to nuclear radiation nonstop for ten years.
Somehow MCG manages to make another sequel anyway.
END
Hasta la chillwad.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:21 pmHoly shitty sequel, Batman!
June 5th, 2009 at 4:29 pmSuper Secret Headquarters Sold Separately!
Excellent script, Rod! I don’t know if you’ve been to my site recently, but I ripped that fucking crap-ass movie a new shithole! After watching that piece of shit, I wanted to find McG and punch him in the heart!
Again, well done!
June 6th, 2009 at 12:47 amThe end seemed to me like;
Bale: I’m dying.
June 6th, 2009 at 7:05 amWorthington: Sweet. I’ll take over after you die.
Bale: I need a new heart.
Worthington: No way! I need mine to live. Plus I have a sweet beard. And since you’re so close to death anyway and bleeding all over, wouldn’t a heart transplant be extremely risky, potentially killing you anyway? How do we even know my heart is compatible with your immune system anyway?
Bale: McG, do a close-up of my beard! Okay, so it’s not as sweet as Worthington’s, but, seriously; I’m Batman. Give me your heart.
Yelchin: Can I go back in time yet, to say, before I agreed to be in this movie?
i thought the movie rocked, but i reALLY DID ENJOY THIS SCRIPT! ” ALL THE ACTION OF T 2, BUT NO REASON TO GIVE A SHIT!”
June 6th, 2009 at 8:25 amGaaahhhh!
I HATE plot holes. If they want to continue a story-line, why can’t they just keep with the reality that’s been created and tell the story within those confines? Doing shit like this is sort of (OK, VERY MUCH SO) insulting to my/our intelligences.
Fuck. I’m going to have to become a screenwriter, aren’t I? that’s the only way, isn’t it?
First on the list: redo Star Wars, the right direction, but do it right with a little more serious a tone, in a noir-esque fashion (think: Star Wars Meets the original Matrix). Just for good measure I shall have Hayden Suckinson killed, so that there’s no chance he “accidentally” shows up on the set and gets inserted into a scene somehow.
Next on the list: Kill Michael Bay. And then, fix the Terminator franchise.
Fuck. They’re gonna make me do it. Sorry Rod, gonna have to put you out of business ;-)
June 6th, 2009 at 9:40 amGod am I glad I didn’t see this movie.
And I can’t fucking stand that Yelchin kid!
June 6th, 2009 at 12:31 pmActually Yelchin was the best part about the movie. Who woulda thunk?
Do Koyaaniquatsi next. ^^
June 6th, 2009 at 2:34 pmBrilliant evisceration, Rod. Just exceedingly thorough and very enjoyable. Reading it, I was pissed off again at the movie, then finally I just succumbed.
I mean, what are you going to do in a world where they keep giving movies to Joseph McGinty Nichol? The man somehow has nine movies in production right now—I checked it out on IMDb. Who has this man blown to get where he is today?
As for the two writers of this, ahem, screenplay: these guys wrote fucking Catwoman and The fucking Net. Seriously. (And T-3, so the producers knew they were getting quality.) Was no one else available? How about the guys who wrote the Ernest movies? Those guys were pretty good.
I’m with randombob. How can the fans so easily spot bullshit and bad ideas, and the movie studios just let it all sail through like shit through a goose? We must rise up, unite as brothers, fight the evil movie studios, we must…
Oh, wait. Pizza man’s here. Gotta go.
@Doc Savage: Simpsons did it.
June 6th, 2009 at 4:29 pmawesome script! this one reminds me of some of your old scripts, the ones that were funny AND original
June 6th, 2009 at 5:44 pmI facepalmed at the fffuuuuu comment. Hey guys anybody mentioned Roland kickinger yet?!!
June 6th, 2009 at 8:57 pmI don’t care if The Simpsons did it. I want Rod to do it.
June 7th, 2009 at 12:36 amSeeing about 10 minutes of Terminator 3, and seeing McG credited as the director told me this would be garbage.
Also nice use of “FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.
June 7th, 2009 at 1:52 amFunny script, liked this movie better than the 3rd, I can’t stand “talk to the hand” and all that other stuff.
I didn’t mind the movie so much, I did feel like there was action every minute though, and Bale was missing throughout half of the film. Loved the terminator bikes though. Really, I’m just surprised that Rod gave it 3 stars, thought he would have rated it lower.
The movie needed more Terminators, either 600’s or 800’s.
June 7th, 2009 at 2:56 amEasy doc, just a joke, answering your meme with a meme. I don’t think even the Simpsons did that yet.
Would like to see Rod do Eraserhead, too, even though the original script was only 20 pages. Saw it on free On Demand last night, and now that I have kids, it actually made more sense.
June 7th, 2009 at 9:46 amI wish Common could have gotten blasted, other than that great abridged script.
June 7th, 2009 at 11:50 amI hear Lost Highway makes more sense if you have a portal to hell and Marilyn Manson in one of your bedrooms.
June 7th, 2009 at 1:14 pmPortal to hell, okay. But I draw the line at Marilyn Manson.
Also I was drinking wine coolers and had a strobe light on.
Shit, I just gave McGuh his next movie.
June 7th, 2009 at 2:20 pmChristian Bale is a terrible actor.
June 7th, 2009 at 3:02 pm@Damon: I like the way you threw down the gauntlet there. (Prepare to duck.) As for me, he’s better than most and cannot polish the proverbial turd.
@Sean C: by the way, Mulholland Drive is best with some Jergen’s and a box of tissues.
June 7th, 2009 at 3:30 pmWhere did they find the lifetime supply of anti-rejection drugs to keep Christian`s body from destroying his new heart (somehow transplanted in a field hospital) within the first day?
June 7th, 2009 at 5:53 pmHe has one facial expression the whole movie, he growls every line, and what’s with all the close-ups of his beard? It’s disgusting.
People treat him like he’s all the rage because he was in that one movie that did really well, The Black Knight or something, but if you watch it closely you’ll notice he doesn’t really do anything special in that movie, either.
I really hope he doesn’t ruin Public Enemies.
June 7th, 2009 at 6:05 pmNah, the only thing that could ruin Public Enemies is if Billy Crudup shows up naked and blue.
And you’d better hope the Michael Mann of the 90’s is back, because he’s hit a bit of a rough patch lately.
June 7th, 2009 at 6:35 pm@Michael Western:
Yeah, Christian Bale has hit a rough patch lately too, his beard!
Zing!
June 7th, 2009 at 11:48 pm“Everyone probably dies a year later from being exposed to nuclear radiation nonstop for ten years.”
THIS. How the hell have they never even attempted to explain how eveyone is still walking around in the massively irradiated future?
June 8th, 2009 at 4:05 amEver since missing the chance to see the movie on opening day, I’ve considered just waiting until it came out on DVD. Now after reading this, I’m sure of it.
And random bob (#6), I’m all for it, just please eliminate Jar Jar Binks, and incorporate the Shadows of the Empire book between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. That was a great book, I recommend it.
June 8th, 2009 at 6:49 amSo, this hugely elaborate plan that took how many years from planting the sweetest of death row inmates as a crazy half cyborg, finally ends INSIDE(!) the Terminator base, and one T-800 is all they could manage to throw at him?
Haha! because you didn’t know you where a cyborg, he trusted you, that means we won, right?
Oh, we have to kill him too? Should have put more effort into that part of the plan.
June 8th, 2009 at 7:16 am@ Travis:
Done, and done. Yes. I will tell a complete, compelling fiction story that is encapsulated and logical within its confines. And all trolls shall die or never be heard of, or quite possibly both. Imagine a time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, where Jar Jar Binks was aborted and Hayden Suckenson died of shaken baby syndrome.
It’s a beautiful thought.
It would be the kind of place where computer-controlled machines – the pinnacle of logic – would kill their prisoner that they have future knowledge goes on to father a kid who might be the end of their existence.
And will ferrell died young. See what happened was, he & Jimmy fallon walked into the same room, and they exploded. That much stupid can’t exist in one place.
This thought keeps getting better. I gotta quit while I still have some good ideas I didn’t just post to the interwebs
June 8th, 2009 at 8:16 amThe second “EXT. POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTLAND” should probably be WASTELAND. Otherwise, very funny.
June 8th, 2009 at 9:00 amThis movie was such a let down. It’s like the writers don’t give enough crap not to make all these glaring mistakes and plot holes.
June 8th, 2009 at 1:06 pm@ Damon; Sure, Bale was terrible in this film, but look back at his filmography, he was at one point considered (by some) to be the best actor of his generation. Most of his prior films were indies, maybe he can’t switch to studio films?
June 8th, 2009 at 2:23 pmCan’t really add anything to all the scintillating commentary, but I do have one question:
How the hell does Skynet know who the fuck Kyle Reese is/will be if the only one who knows is John Connor, and he ain’t saying? If I missed it, my apologies- but that just bugged the hell outta me…
June 8th, 2009 at 7:19 pmI knew the movie would be shit when Michael Ironside showed up.
Great for awesome cheese like Total Recall, or stupid cheese like Starship Troopers. Bad if you want to be taken seriously.
I might be intimidated by his mouth breathing and flaring nostrils, but that’s about it.
Rod nailed it, of course. His 80’s Top Gun-esque butt-chewing dialogue had to be interpreted, which was hilarious. I’m surprised he didn’t tell John Connor his ego was writing checks his body can’t cash.
Just more proof nobody involved really gave a flying fuck.
@XdudeX: Nice one.
June 8th, 2009 at 9:04 pmLETS SEE THE STAR TREK SCRIPT!
June 9th, 2009 at 12:47 amThe new Kate Connor, Bryce Howard in a movie taking place 20(?) years in the future is 2 years younger than the last one Claire Danes
June 9th, 2009 at 11:19 amHow is it that Helena knows that the machines have tried to kill Connor several times in the past, when it hasn’t happened for her yet. Kyle is still a teenager, so it will be several years before he goes back in time.
Isn’t this the 3rd F’N movie where the climactic fight is in a machine shop/steel mill?
Wouldn’t you think Skynet Central would have more than a couple of Terminators guarding it? Burlington Mall had better security.
June 9th, 2009 at 1:52 pm[...] of cliches that a lot of movie reviewers have become accustomed to. I could have simply made fun of the movie, I could have described point A to B to C without really explaining why it didn’t work, or I [...]
June 9th, 2009 at 4:12 pmIt goes to show that the more terminator movies that are made, the less understandable the whole story becomes. Or, the more people start asking questions starting with the word “how”.
June 9th, 2009 at 5:35 pmDid Helena not get the memo that she is only supposed to speak dialogue that was used in previous movies?
June 10th, 2009 at 6:46 amThank you for putting the series in its place. I seriously don’t get how movies that started as a (relatively) low-budget Saturday afternoon future flick has gotten to this level of reverence from fanboys. Without T2, this series is mediocre at best, and you are right, it does basically just make up time-travel rules as it goes along. After Rise of the Machines, I just couldn’t get excited about another one. And then when they named McG director, case closed. It might as well be Michael Bay.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:40 am@Aaron: I agree the last two movies are mediocre (or just shit, really), but I think you’re selling the first movie short. Even without T-2, it would stand alone as a classic.
I think it’s a lot like the difference between Alien and Aliens.
The first movie was lower-budget, more suspenseful, and left a lot to the imagination (the apocalypse, Skynet, etc.).
The second movie pulled the curtain back more and delivered a well-executed big-budget movie.
Not better, necessarily. Just a matter of preference.
I actually think people overrate T-2 a little bit. For instance, Edward Furlong (may he rest in peace) nearly ruined T-2 for me. Not what I thought of for John Connor at all.
June 10th, 2009 at 8:48 pmEdward Furlong is dead?
June 10th, 2009 at 9:58 pmStarring in a Uwe Boll film, so… yes.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:08 pmOne of the best scripts yet. But you forgot about the scene where he jumps from the helicopter into the ocean and then CUT TO: He’s inside the sub. That was craptastic.
June 11th, 2009 at 6:37 amCGI ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Are you kidding? This is the most realistic performance of my career.
Couldn’t agree more.
Heres my take on the film http://www.purpleslinky.com/Humor/Satire/Terminator-Salvation-First-Draft-Parody-Script.780335
You can make comments on the page.
June 11th, 2009 at 6:44 amOops. Could have sworn I heard he died. If only there was some kind of research tool that could help me check my facts before I posted stupid shit.
Like the whole internet or something.
@Sean C: Uwe Boll films. Where old Terminator actors go to die. I think Bloodrayne was his finest hour.
June 11th, 2009 at 1:18 pmT1 was awesome, T2 as well, but in a different way. T3 was clearly mediocre (Claire Danes?!) except for the truck/building smashing scene and T4 is unsurprisingly awful. I read a Bale interview where he said everyone told him not to be in this movie, so he decided he would prove them wrong. Oops, guess they were right Chris!
June 11th, 2009 at 6:10 pmI checked my facts, and he WAS dead, but just for a few days.
He was not Ded Furlong.
June 11th, 2009 at 8:04 pmC’mon, that was funny!
June 12th, 2009 at 7:20 pmIt really was, I was just waiting to have more to say other than “Haw haw.”
Erm. Wolverine was worse than The Spirit? Dunno. Pontypool. Ponty-pontypool. Pontypool.
June 13th, 2009 at 12:41 amI can’t believe there’s something out there called Pontypool, and that it is being offered with a straight face.
Worst film names, gents?
June 13th, 2009 at 4:48 amEvery bit of Michael Ironside’s dialogue in this script was brilliant, Rod.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:41 pm@Michael Westen.
June 14th, 2009 at 5:55 pmtotally agree with your synopsis of T1 vs T2. I also think the Sarah Connor voice overs were uber-cliched & patronising & dragged T2 down.
T1 is all-time, and Arnold’s best movie IMO.
My thoughts go out to Edward Furlong’s widow, the rest of his family, and his fans (both of them).
Thanks so much for doing this. It made my day.
June 14th, 2009 at 10:17 pmThanks axe, but seriously, he’s not dead. I messed up.
And yeah, while I wouldn’t say T-1 was a lighthearted romp or anything, T-2 was really, really heavy. Kids getting vaporized by nukes on the playground?
I remember sitting with my girlfriend, thinking, Jesus, Cameron, I’m on a date night here. This will not help get me laid. (I also thought, “poor fucking kids.” I’m not a monster.)
He did make up for the getting-guys-laid thing with Titanic, though.
June 15th, 2009 at 1:38 amThis is the sort of film that justifies illegal downloading- Hollywood, you’re not even trying anymore!
I must admit, I’m not particularly au fait with the script-writing process, but with all the money they spent on special effects you’d think they’d have some kind of workshop where a bunch of smart people sit together, talk through the script and write out any unbelievably stupid inconsistencies!
Here’s another that no1’s pointed out- Skynet’s brilliant plan, as explained by HBC, hinged on the fact that the humans would catch Worthington at the same time Yelchin was caught by Skynet………… what are the chances?!
June 15th, 2009 at 2:18 am“CHRISTIAN BALE arrives and is attacked by CGI ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, HOLY SHIT! ARNOLD throws CHRISTIAN around a lot rather than snapping his neck, just to be NICE.”
goes into the shortlist of best Rod Hilton lines, right under
“GERARD kills the PERSIANS, sentencing his people to fight a battle they cannot win. This is HEROIC, rather than JUVENILE.” from 300.
Comic genius, Rod.
June 15th, 2009 at 7:49 amYou left out the portion where Kyle says you have to earn your way into the resistance yet in all of Connor’s broadcasts it reminds everyone that if you were listening to it, then you already are. Of course we can assume maybe Kyle didn’t know about it yet at the end of the film Connor makes him put on the red badge coat. LOL when I saw that scene I thought he won some US Open or something.
June 15th, 2009 at 10:10 amSAM WORTHINGTON
He’s not going to do that stupid Batman voice is he?
That cracked me up!! Awesome script.. made me want to see the movie :D
June 15th, 2009 at 11:02 amEXCELENT!!!! JAajaJAjajajJAa!!
June 15th, 2009 at 6:55 pm[...] saw Terminator Salvation recently. Observers enjoy dissecting the many ways that the entire Terminator franchise fails to add up, logically. I’m certainly not here to defend [...]
June 15th, 2009 at 9:50 pmGood stuff my man, Michael Ironside’s cliched “Lieutenant” dialogue got me the most!
Although I’m one of the few fans of “Chinese Democracy” (I’m used to people hating on it anyways), still this is excellent work.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:14 amThis script was awesome from the very first line:
“This isn’t the future my mother warned me about. That future definitely had lasers, I’m sure of it. That future would have been totally sweet.”
That was the very reason I didn’t go see this movie in theaters. I’ve been waiting and waiting for them to finally make the movie about the war, with lasers and giant tanks and cool sci-fi stuff and… we get THIS?! From everything I’ve read about the movie, it sounds just as bad as it looked in the trailer. Well, maybe I’ll rent it sometime just to compare it to this script and laugh.
June 16th, 2009 at 6:38 pmThis was fantastic. I can’t wait to see you tear Star Trek a new one. Keep up the good work.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pmAfter reading the reviews i expected it to be a lot worse than T3, apart from the whole why the hell didnt they just kill Kyle and the whole wondering whether i walked into the Transformers movie instead then it was actually quite good, ok not T1 and T2 good but better than T3
June 24th, 2009 at 3:32 pm[...] around in the first few films.. *Spoiler Below* I think this sums it up: (Stolen blatantly from Terminator Salvation: The Abridged Script | The Editing Room) CHRISTIAN drives to MACHINELAND. Meanwhile, SAM awakes in a room with a BIG MONITOR (very useful [...]
June 25th, 2009 at 2:41 amThis is pretty stupid…. just as drawn out and self indulgent as the movie itself.
June 25th, 2009 at 6:32 amHahah this was one of best scripts. Loved the FFUUU moment, fellow btard
June 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pmThis was a terrible Transformers sequal… oh wait, wrong "CGI effects robot movie with no plot" movie. :D
June 30th, 2009 at 8:27 pmThe thing that bugged the crap out of me (besides the major plot holes and whatnot…)
What the hell were they doing with the camera? Did they feed some crack to a monkey and then make him hold it? Was epilepsy involved? Was there a character that no one talked to that followed them around at a dead run while holding that camera?
July 5th, 2009 at 6:51 pm[...] Abridged Scripts for Watchmen, Terminator Salvation, and X-Men Origins: [...]
July 15th, 2009 at 5:30 amThis
"SUPER SECRET RESISTANCE HIDEOUT, SOLD SEPARATELY."
and this:
"CHRISTIAN BALE
…you and me are done professionally, man."
epic lolz
September 14th, 2009 at 1:15 amyou and me are done professionally
He will never live that down, will he? Awesome.
November 19th, 2009 at 4:04 pmLMAO , pretty much tells it like it is , McG doesn't now jack shit how to make a movie , but it is still more watchable than that shitstain Rise of the Machines
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 pmthis movie isn't asbad on second viewing, i think you're able to drop you expectations and just enjoy it as an action flick. it's not the future he was warned about because of the TX in T3, she uploaded all kinds of data into skynet which altered the time line, odds are nothing beyond kyle being sent back will rmeain the same in the next 2 movies
i'd recommend at least giving the bluray a rent or purchase, the film is definetly not as bad as i initially though…also the bluray as moon bloodgood's boobies
December 7th, 2009 at 7:36 pm