Emily and Daniel reach the finish line of the annual FBI Saunter-In-Full-Gear Marathon.

SICARIO

The Patron-Exclusive Abridged Script

FADE IN:

EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT FROM BREAKING BAD

EMILY BLUNT, covered in THREE TIMES HER WEIGHT IN FBI GEAR, her partner DANIEL KALUUYA, and their FBI TEAM commence raiding a HOUSE! A guard SHOOTS at EMILY but luckily she topples over from encumbrance at just the right moment, and she KILLS him right back!

DANIEL KALUUYA

Huh, the guard's shotgun blast tore a hole in this wall. There's something in behind, I wonder what AUGHGHHH BLLUGGGHHH THE STENCH OF FIVE THOUSAND DECOMPOSING CORPSES HHMMPPPLGLGHHHHFFFFF OH WHY DID I REMOVE THAT WAFER-THIN PIECE OF DRYWALL RLLLPHHHHHHH

(vomits everywhere)

FBI GUYS

That is some ruthless shit packing all those bodies in the walls. But no way anyone that depraved and amoral would ever booby-trap anything so let's just start fucking around with shit until

(blown up)

INT. FBI BUILDING - LATER

EMILY gets called into a meeting with her boss VICTOR GARBER, mysterious dude JOSH BROLIN and some other goobers who help fill out the shot.

VICTOR GARBER

Josh is heading up a task force dedicated to getting the Big Drug Guy who's responsible for blowing up our fellow agents. Are you in?

EMILY BLUNT

A chance to get the asshole who killed my brothers-in-arms? Damn right I'm in. I'll do whatever it takes, I don't care what lines we have to cross.

(pause)

Ooh, we could tell him he won a car, and has to pick it up at the police station. Have you tried that one yet? Or call him and say "a-guy-confessing-to-running-a-drug-cartel-says-what?". Or-

JOSH BROLIN

How about you let me handle the planning.

Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word

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