The Very Abridged Script
FADE IN:
INT. COMICON
SIMON PEGG and NICK FROST wander around COMICON.
RANDOM FAN
Wow, it's the comedic team that so brilliantly reinvented the horror genre in Shaun of the Dead, then hilariously satirized the action genre in Hot Fuzz! What are you guys taking on next? War movies? Spy flicks? Gaslight melodrama?
SIMON PEGG
Actually, this IS our next movie. We're all in it, right now.
RANDOM FAN
Huh? But this just looks like you guys in real life wandering through Comicon.
NICK FROST
No, we're in character and everything. See, my hair's a bit longer than usual.
SIMON PEGG
If you still don't believe us, here's the entire screenplay.
(hands over screenplay)
RANDOM FAN
(reading)
Hmm... meandering road-movie plot full of jokes about Star Wars, drugs, and poop... no visual style to speak of... random celebrity cameos... minimal characterization and threadbare romantic elements, but with enough sincerity and good humour to keep it likeable. So, what genre are you doing exactly?
SIMON PEGG
(cheerily)
Kevin Smith movies!
RANDOM FAN
Oh. Well, good luck with that.
(leaves)
NICK FROST
That went well.
SIMON and NICK proceed to do JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK except WILL FERRELL becomes JASON BATEMAN, MARK HAMILL becomes SIGOURNEY WEAVER, and instead of a CHIMPANZEE there is a CGI ALIEN that, for some reason, only appears whenever SETH ROGEN does a voiceover.
END