"Okay, the Acme Rocket Sled was a bust. Maybe I could catch the Road Runner if I built some kind of catapult?"

FIRST MAN

The Patron-Exclusive Abridged Script

EXT. THE STRATOSPHERE

RYAN GOSLING is flying a NASA JET as fast and as high as it will go! Then he presses a TURBO BUTTON and it goes EVEN FASTER and EVEN HIGHER and it bursts out of the very highest CLOUD and GRAVITY GOES AWAY and the STARS COME OUT and holy cow he just flew a plane into the very edge of SPACE!!

RYAN GOSLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He tries to go down but the plane bounces off the atmosphere! He can’t control it and it looks like he’s going to drift off into space and be lost forever!!!

RYAN GOSLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He desperately presses buttons that spin the plane around until it gets dragged back down somehow and starts PLUMMETING UNCONTROLLABLY and there’s CLOUDS OBSCURING EVERY DAMN THING and he has no idea where he is or what’s happening!!!

RYAN GOSLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Finally he manages to break free of the clouds and OH FUCK A MOUNTAIN

RYAN GOSLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He pulls up just in time to not crash into the MOUNTAIN then slides to a stop on the ALKALI FLATS on the other side.

RYAN GOSLING

...WOOO! Man! I had no idea this movie was gonna be this intense! Everything I heard about it made it sound like a slow, sober, character-driven drama that-

INT. RYAN’S DYING DAUGHTER’S ROOM

Back at HOME, RYAN spends some PRECIOUS HOURS with his LITTLE TODDLER who is dying of CANCER.

RYAN GOSLING

Ah fuck.

DYING DAUGHTER

(all woebegone and tragi-dorable)

Daddy

(cough, hack)

I’m scared

(vomits, cries)

RYAN GOSLING

Uh huh, look no offense kid but it’s pretty clear where this is going, so I’m not go waste time getting attached, okay? In fact is there any chance we could just skip ahead to-

Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word

Access Denied!

Sorry, this script is a patron-exclusive. Whenever you see the Patreon icon next to a script, that means the script is for Patrons only, and you'll to log into to Patreon to view it. Fucking bullshit, am I right?

If you want, you can become a Patron yourself by pledging a single dollar per month to help keep the site updated regularly. Depending on how much you pledge, you'll be able to read this script and a bunch of others.

Already a patron? You just need to log in to Patreon and find the posted link to this script.

Discussion