How any Robert Louis Stevenson purists could object to this movie is beyond me.


How any Robert Louis Stevenson purists could object to this movie is beyond me.

TREASURE PLANET

The Very Abridged Script

FADE IN:

INT. MOVIE THEATRE

AUDIENCE

I don't know about this movie. Oh well, let's give it a shot.

The MOVIE starts and is ACTUALLY QUITE GOOD.

AUDIENCE

Hey, this movie is winning me over and cutting through my cynical expectations. I like it!

Suddenly, MARTIN SHORT bursts in and RAMS the ENTIRE MOVIE up his ASS. Then he SHITS it out onto a PILE OF DOG VOMIT, turns around, and PISSES all over it.

AUDIENCE

(retching)

Martin, what the fuck?!?

MARTIN SHORT

Hey, I'm not the one who created this godawful character, wrote his dialogue, or animated him. I'm just looking for a piece of that sweet voice-artist royalties pie like everyone else, is that so wrong?!?

AUDIENCE

(grumbling their way out of theatre)

Goddamn Martin Short.

END


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