Due to an actors' strike, extras from "Monty Python & the Holy Grail" were digitally added.


Due to an actors' strike, extras from "Monty Python & the Holy Grail" were digitally added.

THE MESSENGER

The Very Abridged Script

FADE IN:

EXT. FRANCE

YOUNG JOAN OF ARC runs through three hundred and seventy-six fields.

YOUNG JESUS CHRIST

Boo!

YOUNG JOAN OF ARC

Holy fuck!

INT. FRENCH CASTLE, YEARS LATER

MILLA JOVOVICH

(in breathless hysteria)

Hello, I am Joan of Arc. I have been sent by God.

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH

And how do you know that?

MILLA JOVOVICH

(in breathless hysteria)

Because there was light... a strange light.... and wind... strange, strange wind.... and more wind and light.... and strange camera effects.... and wind... and... look, I just know, OK?

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH

Good enough for me. Hell, I'm going to vanish halfway through the movie anyway, so what the fuck do I care? Go kill people.

MILLA JOVOVICH

(in breathless hysteria)

Thank you.

EXT. FRANCE

MILLA KILLS many many many many many many many people.

INT. JAIL CELL

DUSTIN HOFFMANOVICH

You suck. You shouldn't have killed lots of people.

MILLA JOVOVICH

(in breathless hysteria)

I'm ever so sorry.

DUSTIN HOFFMANOVICH

Whatever.

MILLA JOVOVICH BURNS breathlessly and hysterically.

END

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