THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
The Abridged Script
EXT. ISLA SORNA
CAMILLA BELLE wanders away from her parents at a PICNIC and finds herself surrounded by several very small, very carnivorous DINOSAURS. This DOES NOT END WELL.
INT. RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH'S HOUSE
JEFF GOLDBLUM arrives as ARLISS HOWARD and a few other EVIL CORPORATE GUYS are leaving.
I wear a suit; thus, I'm evil. I'll make the same mistakes Uncle Richard made but, while his mistakes were due to his reckless enthusiasm, mine will be caused by greed. Because suit. Evil.
Jeff, it turns out I have this other island that I never mentioned when I hired you to assess the stability of Jurassic Park. That's where we created all the dinosaurs and raised them until they were ready to be exhibited at the park.
So, that seemingly fully functional lab that you showed us, saying that it was where all the magic happened…?
Just for show.
I see. You hired some handsomely paid consultants to evaluate the park as requested by the investors and then lied to said consultants. No wonder the InGen board of directors forced you to step down from your position as CEO.
Actually, I got away with that. But then a hurricane struck the other island, so I had it evacuated and all the dinosaurs were let loose.
You let the dinosaurs roam the island freely and just hoped no one would ever come across it? Surely that's when they demanded your resignation.
No, they were okay with that, too. But now a little girl has been attacked, so they decided to...
Get rid of all the dinosaurs?
No, just of me. They still hope to profit from the dinosaurs.
Oh, for God's sake! What will it take to make you people quit? A T-Rex roaming the streets of San Diego?
Now you're just being silly.
Anyway, whatever it is you're planning, count me out.
But I need you to help document what's happening at the island to raise public awareness and force InGen to back off and leave the dinosaurs alone! I already have a paleontologist there and I'm sending photographer Vince Vaughn and field equipment expert Richard Schiff, but I also need a theoretical mathematician for some reason. The same reason that made your presence necessary the first time, probably.
The paleontologist is your girlfriend Julianne Moore.
(storming out though the door)
I'm coming, baby!
INT. EQUIPMENT SHED
RICHARD SCHIFF, VINCE VAUGHN and JEFF GOLDBLUM are getting ready to leave when VANESSA LEE CHESTER arrives.
VANESSA LEE CHESTER
Daddy, I'm so glad we're going to spend time together!
Actually, we're not. I had you come all the way here just to tell you that I'm dumping you on a sitter and skipping town.
VANESSA LEE CHESTER
That's okay, I'm just gonna hide inside that trailer over there and hope it's being sent to the same place as you are.
You do know that, since we'll be flying there, that trailer is going to spend a lot of time in the cargo hold and there's no telling how low the temperature there will be?
VANESSA LEE CHESTER
I'm sure everything will turn out fine.
EXT. ISLA SORNA
RICHARD SCHIFF, VINCE VAUGHN and JEFF GOLDBLUM find JULIANNE MOORE as she is following a herd of STEGOSAURUSES.
(making as much as noise as possible)
HI, GUYS! I'M STALKING THOSE HUGE DINOSAURS AND THEIR CALF! NO NEED TO BE INCONSPICUOUS OR ANYTHING BECAUSE PLANT-EATING ANIMALS ARE HARMLESS!
Julianne, honey, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure animals get more aggressive when they have their babies with them. Even the nice, plant-eating ones.
Nonsense. Now shut up and wait here while I go pet that baby stegosaurus over there. I'm sure they won't mind.
They do. JULIANNE MOORE manages to not be smashed by the herd of angry STEGOSAURUSES and everyone heads back to the BASE CAMP, where they find VANESSA LEE CHESTER.
Vanessa, what the hell are you doing here?
Wait, you didn't know she was here until now? You were willing to fly to another country to rescue your grown-up girlfriend, yet didn't bother to call the sitter to make sure your pre-teen daughter had arrived safely at her house?
They are interrupted by the sound of engines. Everyone looks up and watches as several HELICOPTERS with the INGEN LOGO on them arrive at the island.
The INGEN crew goes DINOSAUR hunting. ARLISS HOWARD is there, along with seasoned hunter PETE POSTLETHWAITE.
I'm in charge here.
No, you're not. You wear a suit: you're in charge of making bad corporate decisions. I'm in charge of making bad decisions in the wild.
(they capture several dinosaurs and set up camp)
To further establish my point, I'm off to hunt me a T-Rex.
He and HARVEY JASON abduct a BABY T-REX from the nest, then leave it chained to the ground and set up an AMBUSH in hopes that the calf's wailing will attract its parents. In the meantime, VINCE VAUGHN and JULIANNE MOORE invade their CAMP and set the DINOSAURS free.
Some of these dinosaurs are pretty huge. Aren't you worried someone will be trampled by one of these behemoths we're setting free in their camp? Not to mention their food, potable water, communication devices, medical supplies...
I'm sure the dinosaurs will just leave orderly and peacefully. Nature is wise that way.
The DINOSAURS trash the CAMP, smashing everything that can be smashed on their way out.
Now to rescue the baby T-Rex!
He releases the BABY T-REX from its restraints and carries it to the CAR.
Oh boy, Jeff is going to be so mad when he sees this!
Really? That's what you're worried about?
They take the BABY T-REX to the TRAILER and fix its BROKEN LEG, while JEFF GOLDBLUM, VANESSA LEE CHESTER and RICHARD SCHIFF wait on the HIGH HIDE. From up there, they hear a T-REX approaching and try to call JULIANNE MOORE and VINCE VAUGHN to warn them.
The PHONE rings. And rings and rings.
Should we answer that?
It's probably just some telemarketer.
JEFF GOLDBLUM storms in. A few seconds later, T-MOM and T-DAD arrive, peeking into the trailer and growling.
They want their baby.
They release the BABY T-REX and the T-FAMILY walks away together.
You know, maybe leaving the kid alone in the nest wasn't such a great idea.
Yeah, let's never do that again.
RICHARD SCHIFF calls from the HIGH HIDE to let them know that the T-FAMILY is returning to the woods, then gives the phone to VANESSA LEE CHESTER.
Everything's fine now, sweetheart. I'm coming right back to get you.
(looks through the window and sees T-MOM and T-DAD returning)
Okay, maybe not right away.
T-MOM and T-DAD push the TRAILER halfway over the edge of a CLIFF.
Yeah, good j-- Wait a minute, who's with the kid?
T-MOM AND T-DAD
(rush back to the nest)
RICHARD SCHIFF comes down from the HIGH HIDE, ties a ROPE around a TREE and throws the other end to JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE and VINCE VAUGHN, who start to climb up. The TRAILER keeps sliding toward the edge of the CLIFF, though, so he attaches a CABLE from the JEEP to the TRAILER and has just started to drive away from the CLIFF when T-MOM and T-DAD return and eat him.
(suddenly stopping in mid chew)
T-MOM and T-DAD turn on their heels and run back to the NEST again.
We are the worst parents ever.
The TRAILER falls over the edge of the CLIFF, pulling the JEEP along with it, but both vehicles miss JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE and VINCE VAUGHN, who manage to climb back to safety. They are joined by the INGEN crew and VANESSA LEE CHESTER.
There's a communication center in the middle of the island; we can call for help there. Since it's powered by geothermal energy, it still works after being struck by a hurricane and spending the last four years exposed to the elements.
Are you sure that's how geothermal energy works?
I'm not sure how anything works in this island, but that hasn't stopped me so far.
They walk until dawn and then keep walking until it's night again, then set up camp in the middle of the jungle. T-DAD and T-MOM come sniffing around the tents and zero in on the TENT where JULIANNE MOORE and VANESSA LEE CHESTER are sleeping.
(waking up and noticing the dinosaurs)
Oh, no! Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, for starters, you have your T-Rex blood covered jacket here. Also, you're both literally sleeping on food crumbs and empty snack bags. Have you ever even gone on a camping trip, lady?
INGEN worker THOMAS ROSALES wakes up, sees the T-REXES and hollers, waking everybody up. While the others flee, PETE POSTLETHWAITE grabs his gun and tries to shoot the dinosaurs, only to discover that VINCE VAUGHN removed the ammo from his gun earlier.
I hope you're the first one they eat!
JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE, VINCE VAUGHN and VANESSA LEE CHESTER manage to escape from T-MOM while T-DAD stays behind and is shot with tranquilizers by PETE POSTLETHWAITE.
I keep thinking that we're forgetting something again. Something about the kid, maybe?
(is knocked out by the tranquilizers)
Several INGEN workers run into the HIGH GRASS while fleeing from T-MOM.
Don't go into the high grass!
(follows them into the high grass)
They all get eaten by VELOCIRAPTORS. JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE, VINCE VAUGHN and VANESSA LEE CHESTER also go into the HIGH GRASS, but manage to outrun the VELOCIRAPTORS and reach the COMMUNICATION CENTER. Everything is trashed and covered with weeds, but as soon as VINCE VAUGHN pushes a lever, the radio is on and he is able to call for help.
Wow, geothermal energy really is great.
In the meantime, JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE and VANESSA LEE CHESTER are being chased by VELOCIRAPTORS.
VANESSA LEE CHESTER
I'll defeat them with the power of gymnastics!
(uses some pipes as uneven bars and finishes her move by kicking a velociraptor out a window)
I'll defeat them with the power of slapstick comedy!
(causes one velociraptor to fall from the roof on top of the other and escapes while they ignore her and fight each other)
I'll just get rescued, like I did last time!
HELICOPTERS arrive and rescue everyone who hasn't been eaten. ARLISS HOWARD takes T-DAD and the BABY T-REX back to San Diego with him.
(looking out from the helicopter and seeing this)
Oh, for crying out loud! Haven't any of you idiots watched King Kong?
EXT. SAN DIEGO HARBOR
The SHIP that's bringing T-DAD crashes into the harbor. ARLISS HOWARD, JEFF GOLDBLUM, JULIANNE MOORE and several HARBOR WORKERS go on board and discover that the ship's crew has been slaughtered.
Let's check the cargo hold.
No, wait! What if the T-Rex is in there, just waiting for us to open the cargo hold so it can escape?
Don't be ridiculous! Even if it had gone back in there after killing everyone, how would it have closed the doors after getting inside? Not to mention why?
(opens the cargo hold)
(coming out of the cargo hold)
T-DAD leaves the harbor and starts wreaking havoc in San Diego.
Jeff, we need to break into InGen, find the baby T-Rex, get it out of there without being stopped by security, then have the father chase us back here, leave the baby in the cargo hold, manage to get out without getting eaten, find the tranquilizer weapon and shoot the T-Rex before it escapes again.
Wouldn't it be easier, not to mention safer to everyone involved, to just let the US Army and their huge-ass weapons take care of it?
NO TIME FOR TALKING! GO GO GO!
They DO. Back in the cargo hold, T-DAD only has time to feed ARLISS HOWARD to the BABY T-REX before passing out cold.
Yay! Now the dinosaurs will be sent back to the island without bloodshed!
EVERYONE WHO WAS KILLED OR MAULED WHILE THE T-REX WAS ON THE LOOSE
JEFF GOLDBLUM and JULIANNE MOORE have fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. VANESSA LEE CHESTER watches an interview with RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH.
I learned nothing!