I like your version of Leguizamo treating Zooey badly. And the way you illustrate through the characters your maddened search for any remote sense of logic or decency. What the fucking fuck IS this shit, M. Night...

Sheesh.

This is the first script I read by Rod, and I was hooked. And because I've gone through all the Archived scripts now, I'm going back through all the comments too. It's nearly as much fun as the scripts.

So I have to weigh in and get this off my chest, because God, er, I mean Rod, has given us this forum. And it's nice to blow off some steam after a week of working for The Man by writing a totally trivial comment about a totally worthless movie. But this is OUR hill...and these are OUR beans...so here goes:

This movie was the absolute worst movie I have ever seen. Bar none. BAR NONE! (calming down...) I loved the Sixth Sense; I liked Unbreakable well enough; and I was okay with The Village. I even went along for the ride with Signs and wasn't too pissed off or anything.

But all along there was this sinking feeling of, oh shit, these movies are steadily getting worse. Almost as if by design. It's like a band that's struggling for years, gets their big break, and puts all their best shit they've been working on for years on the first CD, then the record company says, "Okay, so whattaya got for the next CD?"

And I figured it bottomed out with Lady in the Water. But no.

The thing is, Marky Mark can actually act better than this. Zooey can actually be likeable. I was looking around me at the movie theater, thinking, "Is anyone else in here appalled at this assault on our intelligence?"

For me, the last straw was the fucking Hot Dog Man. His solliloquy on hot dogs had me nearly hopping in my seat, looking around, like, really? Are you really doing this? I felt like I was getting a root canal and a colonoscopy at the same time. MY BRAIN TRIED TO CRAWL OUT OF MY SKULL AND ESCAPE. I should have left, but my wife likes Marky Mark and it was our date night, so...

Here's the bottom line: M. Night thinks he's smarter than the room, but he blew his creative load years ago. I will never spend another minute/dollar contributing to his financial well-being.

And when I read Rod's script, I thought, "Holy shit! This guy totally gets what I hate about this movie! Yes! A published essay telling the world what I wanted to shout from the rooftops! There is JUSTICE!"

Don't worry, Rod. I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you.

My bio lecturer is about as qualified as mark wahlberg, though

Ten bucks says that the 200th Abridged Script will be "Cloverfield".