Anakin pauses the fighting briefly to snack on his shoulderpad.


Anakin pauses the fighting briefly to snack on his shoulderpad.

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS

The Very Abridged Script

FADE IN:

EXT. SPACE

The movie begins. Instead of the traditional 'STAR WARS' logo disappearing into the distance, we see a modernized 'CLONE WARS' logo.

AUDIENCE

What ...

Instead of the classic Star Wars theme, we hear a remix of the theme.

AUDIENCE

... The ...

Instead of an opening text crawl, we are treated to a cheesy NARRATOR that sounds like the guy doing the propaganda ads for STARSHIP TROOPERS talking over overly stylized ANIMATION.

AUDIENCE

... Fuck?!?

JABBA THE HUTT'S UNCLE is an offensive homosexual stereotype.

AUDIENCE

FUCK THE SHIT RIGHT OUT OF THIS.

The AUDIENCE leaves to go watch THE DARK KNIGHT again.

END


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