In the early days, World of Warcraft experimented with some unusual character classes.


In the early days, World of Warcraft experimented with some unusual character classes.

SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER, AND UNCUT

The Abridged Script

FADE IN:

INT. MOVIE THEATER

FUCKING STAN

We are sneaking into this movie of our favorite TV show, which is rated R.

Young SOUTH PARK FANS sneak into South Park, a movie of their favorite TV show, which is rated R.

FUCKING KYLE

We are very easily entertained

The young SOUTH PARK FANS are easily entertained.

FUCKING CARTMAN

Hey! The main characters are swearing and I find this funny! Holy fuck!

The young SOUTH PARK FANS find the swearing very funny.

FUCKING STAN

Boy, we're a bunch of fucking idiots for liking crap like this just because it has swear words.

The young SOUTH PARK FANS have no idea the movie is making fun of them

AUDIENCE

HAHA! Man, I fuckin' love south park! Swear words are fuckin' hilarious!

The film suddenly makes a joke that makes fun of anyone who would think it's stupid for a movie to rely on swear words.

ABRIDGED SCRIPT AUTHOR

Hey! Dammit. Cut that out.

EXT. REDNECK TOWN

A character suddenly breaks into a musical number. The musical number is only funny for a little while, and then it drags on as a character with a high-pitched voice wails endlessly with blaring background music.

EXT. SOMEWHERE ELSE

The above scene repeats itself over and over again for two hours, long after the musical numbers have worn out their hipness.

Eventually, upset parents declare war on Canada, while TREY FUCKING PARKER and MATT FUCKING STONE declare war on censorship and scapegoating.

AUDIENCE MEMBER #1

Is it just me, or is it sad that the most bitingly satirical social commentary film this year is in the form of a badly animated movie that came from a TV show on Comedy Central made by the same two stoner idiots that gave us BASEketball?

TREY FUCKING PARKER

Hey, look, we have an important fucking message, here. Censorship sucks, filmmakers should be allowed to make whatever kinds of movies they want! Flatulence humor and swearwords for all, I say!

MATT FUCKING STONE farts on TREY and they laugh and break into another fucking musical number.

END

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