FADE IN:

INT. AUDIENCE’S HOME

The AUDIENCE is reading reviews of the film.

FILM CRITIC

There is a SURPRISE ending in this film!

INT. BRUCE WILLIS’ HOME

BRUCE is shot by a man with a GUN.

INT. BRUCE WILLIS’ OFFICE – THE NEXT FALL

HALEY JOEL OSMENT

I see dead people.

BRUCE WILLIS

(gruff whisper)

Interesting.

AUDIENCE

Wait, didn’t he get shot? Well, this is a ghost movie, I guess he is a ghost. I guess that’s the surprise ending critics won’t shut up about.

The movie continues on for quite some time. HALEY interacts with some DEAD PEOPLE including BRUCE WILLIS.

Weird stuff happens in which people don’t react to WILLIS, further showing that WILLIS is a ghost.

This still continues for quite a while.

Eventually, it is revealed that BRUCE is a ghost!

WRITER/DIRECTOR M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN

Ha ha! I thought of the ending first and the story second! The whole film is nothing more than build-up for this clever surprise ending!

SHYAMALAN is shot by the audience, who figured out that WILLIS was a ghost long ago. He is now DEAD.

HALEY JOEL OSMENT

Mom? The director is standing outside my window.

HALEY’S MOM

Freak.

HALEY JOEL OSMENT

He is. And he’s telling me how to make a movie that ends with the main character revealing that he’s the bad guy. Make him go away.

BRUCE WILLIS

(gruff whisper)

I’m workin on it.

BRUCE whips out a shitload of guns.

BRUCE WILLIS

Damn I’m getting tired of movies where I have to act calm. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

BRUCE fills everyone with bullets.

END