Sex and the City: The Abridged Script
By: Rod Hilton on Jun 1st, 2008 | Movie Rating: 
"Ha ha, you're right - Arrested Development WAS hilarious! How did we get a movie?"
FADE IN:
EXT. NEW YORK CITY
SARAH JESSICA PARKER, CYNTHIA NIXON, KRISTIN DAVIS, and KIM CATTRALL talk unabashedly about SEX and obsess brainlessly over FASHION.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Female empowerment is great!
CYNTHIA NIXON
Yeah! Grrl power!
They illustrate this by having the men in their lives do unforgivable things to them, then eventually blame themselves and forgive the men. This allows them to live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
END
Woah, woah, woah Jim. What’s with you throwing in the gay guy thing? Gay guys don’t have good taste in movies?
I’ve also heard people say that Indy 4 was the best one, HAAAAAAA! That’s just funny. But I don’t know about you guys, but yall must admit, it was better than Live Free or Die Hard, becuz that movie lost it’s touch, Indy however still felt the same for me, except some parts.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 amCould’ve tried a little harder, but I suppose it doesn’t deserve any real effort.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 amSARAH JESSICA PARKER, is, and has always been an ugly, anorexic excuse for a woman. She has no talent as an actress and is surely nothing even approximating beautiful. However, the Hollywood spin machine has told the gullible public that she is a goddess so many times that even the spin doctors believe it, now. Unfortunately, it just ain’t so. I rather enjoyed the other 3 actresses, however. SJP needs a new line of work.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 amSeriously - how in the blue bloody Fuck did this recieve 1 and 1/2 stars??
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:59 amI have never watched a single episode of the show, but from what i heard from my (female) friends, i could’ve summed up the entire movie (almost) exactly that Rod did, except i wouldn’t have to sit through 2.5 hours of pure unadultrated grabage…but than again…my gf has been talkin about goin to the theatre to watch it…prepare to go into a self induced coma…
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:38 pmPretty lazy script Rod.
You coulda really tore this piece of shit a fresh one.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pmI appreciate that instead of taking the easy shots at this completely pointless and annoying movie, you just kept it simple. Well done.
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:24 pmHmm. SATC had Sarah Jessica Horseface Parker, but IJ4 had Shia Lebarf, so I think it’s a push between the two films.
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:46 pmHmmm. Make that most of Rod’s readers.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pmJoker;
I think the point is that SATC didn’t really DESERVE the time and attention needed for Rod to write a lengthier script for it. I feel bad enough the poor S.O.B. had to sit through it in the first place, don’t you? Do we really want Rod to have to sit down and REMEMBER this piece of filth frame-by-frame, moment-by-moment, in order to satisfy our own needs? Talk about A Clockwork Orange type of torture! That he took the time to do this much(in my opinion) is a heroic effort.
And for all those questioning Sara Jessica Horseface’s looks, I think you’ll be pleased to know that since she failed to place in this past month’s Kentucky Derby, her rider(Matthew Broderick) is scheduled to take her out behind the barn this weekend and shoot her in the head. :-)
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 pm