The Prince of Egypt: The Abridged Script
By Rod | Dec 18th, 1998 |
26 Comments
| Movie: 
FADE IN:
EXT. EGYPT
VAL KILMER
Let my people go!
AUDIENCE
What is this, a bible story? Who the hell cares?
END
Recent Posts
- Sherlock Holmes
- Avatar
- 2012
- The Twilight Saga: New Moon
- Inglourious Basterds
- G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
- Angels & Demons
- Moving to IntenseDebate
- Star Trek
- Terminator Salvation
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine
- I Love You, Man
- Watchmen
- Gran Torino
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Australia
- Twilight
Coming Soon
- Alice in Wonderland
Twitter Updates
Categories
- Abridged Scripts (227)
- Contributions (68)
- Other (10)
- Quickies (18)
- Site (9)
Search
-
My Host
Advertisements
Meta
i care! the story of Moses is my favorite Bible story. if u want 2 make fun of it, say it 2 my face!
September 21st, 2007 at 10:10 pm? What a waste of a mouse click…
January 16th, 2008 at 3:19 pm:(
March 24th, 2008 at 9:04 pmyou SUCK! show Moses and God Almight some RESPECT
April 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pmPrince of Egypt Abridged.
Musical theme: We got mud and sand, someone deliver us!
-God delievers them a pizza.
Dialogue:
Little girl: Hey mom, can I carry the baby to the temple?
Mom: Hell no! Let’s toss him to the crocodiles instead!
Steve Irwin: *Crikey! *
-Egyptians find a baby cuter than Ramseys.
-Egyptians abuse/ignore baby Ramseys for the rest of the story.
~~~TIME PARADOX!~~~~~~~
Action scene:
*Cue Fast and the Furious theme music.*
[God's only weakness see Judges 1:19]
[Insert Michael Jackson jokes and blasphemy here]
Sexy fanservice appears, fanservice escapes.
Moses does stuff:
-bumps into suicidal terrorist.
-gets naked and runs into the desert.
-passes out from heatstroke.
-gets owned by a camel.
-Fanservice appears from nowhere and throws Moses down a well [he survives].
Musical theme: Butterfly in the sky, you’re in a book, READING RAINBOW!
-Redneck Jews do a shotgun wedding and square dance in 10 seconds
-Bush appears out of nowhere and declares war on terror. [It's in the movie!]
May 4th, 2008 at 6:09 pm-Moses swings around magic wand and a “snakecharmer”
AUGH! My abridged thing is cut off! The Irony!
Prince of Egypt Abridged.
Musical theme: We got mud and sand, someone deliver us!
-God delievers them a pizza.
Dialogue:
Little girl: Hey mom, can I carry the baby to the temple?
Mom: Hell no! Let’s toss him to the crocodiles instead!
Steve Irwin: *Crikey! *
-Egyptians find a baby cuter than Ramseys.
-Egyptians abuse/ignore baby Ramseys for the rest of the story.
~~~TIME PARADOX!~~~~~~~
Action scene:
*Cue Fast and the Furious theme music.*
[God's only weakness see Judges 1:19]
[Insert Michael Jackson jokes and blasphemy here]
Sexy fanservice appears, fanservice escapes.
Moses does stuff:
-bumps into suicidal terrorist.
-gets naked and runs into the desert.
-passes out from heatstroke.
-gets owned by a camel.
-Fanservice appears from nowhere and throws Moses down a well [he survives].
Musical theme: Butterfly in the sky, you’re in a book, READING RAINBOW!
-Redneck Jews do a shotgun wedding and square dance in 10 seconds
-Bush appears out of nowhere and declares war on terror. [It's in the movie!]
May 4th, 2008 at 6:16 pm-Moses swings around magic wand and a “snakecharmer”
I like the cartoon movie
June 9th, 2008 at 4:29 pmcause it’s got singing and dancing
good for the kiddies
it would be something more like this
MOSES
I don’t care if I was raised by you Egyptians in luxury and comfort, You are EVIL because thats what I was told by a flaming BUSH (get it??) so let my peple go!!!!!
PHARAOH
No
MOSES
oh yeah???
GOD sends plagues and diseases and locusts and stuff and KILLS INNOCENT EGYPTIAN FIRST BORN CHILDREN because they are not jewish (just like Spielberg, Kratzenberg and Geffen) therefore would grow up to be evil..
PHARAOH
ok go
(pause)
wait… what??? get them!!!!
A bunch of evil Egyptians drown…
and they all lived happily ever after in the desert for 40 years
END
(do I get the job??)
July 15th, 2008 at 12:13 amRalph Fiennes is in The Prince of Egypt. Therefore, the film is badass…But still an untrue bible story.
July 19th, 2008 at 12:51 pmI like it. It fit my view of the movie. Go Rod!!!
August 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pmIf you didn’t know this was a movie based on a bible story before going in then what the fuck did you think it was going to be? Seriously?
September 30th, 2008 at 1:37 pmI love the short scripts — bravo!
March 4th, 2009 at 10:19 amI agree with aces high. And Just Letting you know bitch you know nothing of the bible and ovousley you dont understand y he yells let my people go. And also christains like me dont like what you just said about it!:( so watch what you say on the internet about the bible or God, cauz you cant inmagin how pissed off i get and if you keep doing it til get worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 15th, 2009 at 7:42 pmAnd also I care cause I totoly care about god cause its one of my all time favorite bible storys. So watch it.
April 15th, 2009 at 7:46 pmI really hope that’s how Christians spell words.
May 8th, 2009 at 2:01 amexucse me but thats how i spell words. no afence but it really makes me mad when i c stuff like that. and you dont realize that is wuz a realy L8 when you sent that coment. do feel afended but i talk that way alot Its my job and no 1 can fire me.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:08 pmSeriously, a better explanation than “It’s a Bible story” could have worked for a quickie. I mean, christ, you could have mentioned it was a musical at the very first song about whipping and said fuck it at that.
Besides, some bible stories are as fantastically crazy and weird as any fantasy story; we’ve got burning trees, bread and wine as technically metaphors for cannibalism, and invisible men in the sky, wings optional. How different is this fantasy to German mythology, LOTR or Narnia; the only real difference is a bunch of sand.
Maybe if you treated this as a fantasy film, you wouldn’t have written this as so short and offensive.
As it is though, it fails.
Course, I just found this site two fucking months ago, so what the fuck do I know?
June 19th, 2009 at 8:51 pmI’ve noticed in other scripts that the audience’s opinion doesn’t reflect Rod’s. Given the less than stellar success of this movie, I think his point was that because it was a Bible story, no one cared, generally speaking.
June 25th, 2009 at 1:01 pmI hadn’t thought of looking at it from the ironic perspective. Point taken.
June 26th, 2009 at 8:45 amIsn't "god" spelled with a capital G? You should try to remember the name of the entity you're worshiping.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:13 pmRod, first of all, to answer the "audience's" question, I do. Now, second of all, to those of us professing to be christians… I understand that this might be a bit upsetting, but honestly… What kind of witness are we being if we just flare and curse and flame them back? Just a few things to think about.
Other than this one, I like what you've written thus far Rod, please keep it up. :)
August 21st, 2009 at 10:16 pmMOSES
Let my people go!
PHARAOH
No.
(Pause)
Ok.
August 25th, 2009 at 3:23 amWhoever wrote these nasty, offending, sinful messages to this movie and to this story, may God have mercy on your souls. I hope that you come to realize that what you all have said is wrong. And those who support the Word of God, may your days be long and blessed. And another thing to those people against this story and are making fun of it, WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 25th, 2009 at 6:23 pmI meant soap
October 25th, 2009 at 6:24 pmI already washed my mouth out with tomato soup, is that alright?
October 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pmIt’s totally a disaster here.I see no christ spirit.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm