i care! the story of Moses is my favorite Bible story. if u want 2 make fun of it, say it 2 my face!

? What a waste of a mouse click...

:(

you SUCK! show Moses and God Almight some RESPECT

Prince of Egypt Abridged.

Musical theme: We got mud and sand, someone deliver us!
-God delievers them a pizza.

Dialogue:
Little girl: Hey mom, can I carry the baby to the temple?
Mom: Hell no! Let's toss him to the crocodiles instead!
Steve Irwin: *Crikey! *
-Egyptians find a baby cuter than Ramseys.
-Egyptians abuse/ignore baby Ramseys for the rest of the story.

~~~TIME PARADOX!~~~~~~~

Action scene:
*Cue Fast and the Furious theme music.*
[God's only weakness see Judges 1:19]
[Insert Michael Jackson jokes and blasphemy here]
Sexy fanservice appears, fanservice escapes.

Moses does stuff:
-bumps into suicidal terrorist.
-gets naked and runs into the desert.
-passes out from heatstroke.
-gets owned by a camel.
-Fanservice appears from nowhere and throws Moses down a well [he survives].

Musical theme: Butterfly in the sky, you're in a book, READING RAINBOW!
-Redneck Jews do a shotgun wedding and square dance in 10 seconds

-Bush appears out of nowhere and declares war on terror. [It's in the movie!]
-Moses swings around magic wand and a "snakecharmer"

AUGH! My abridged thing is cut off! The Irony!

Prince of Egypt Abridged.

Musical theme: We got mud and sand, someone deliver us!
-God delievers them a pizza.

Dialogue:
Little girl: Hey mom, can I carry the baby to the temple?
Mom: Hell no! Let's toss him to the crocodiles instead!
Steve Irwin: *Crikey! *
-Egyptians find a baby cuter than Ramseys.
-Egyptians abuse/ignore baby Ramseys for the rest of the story.

~~~TIME PARADOX!~~~~~~~

Action scene:
*Cue Fast and the Furious theme music.*
[God's only weakness see Judges 1:19]
[Insert Michael Jackson jokes and blasphemy here]
Sexy fanservice appears, fanservice escapes.

Moses does stuff:
-bumps into suicidal terrorist.
-gets naked and runs into the desert.
-passes out from heatstroke.
-gets owned by a camel.
-Fanservice appears from nowhere and throws Moses down a well [he survives].

Musical theme: Butterfly in the sky, you're in a book, READING RAINBOW!
-Redneck Jews do a shotgun wedding and square dance in 10 seconds

-Bush appears out of nowhere and declares war on terror. [It's in the movie!]
-Moses swings around magic wand and a "snakecharmer"

I like the cartoon movie
cause it's got singing and dancing
good for the kiddies

it would be something more like this

MOSES
I don't care if I was raised by you Egyptians in luxury and comfort, You are EVIL because thats what I was told by a flaming BUSH (get it??) so let my peple go!!!!!

PHARAOH
No

MOSES
oh yeah???

GOD sends plagues and diseases and locusts and stuff and KILLS INNOCENT EGYPTIAN FIRST BORN CHILDREN because they are not jewish (just like Spielberg, Kratzenberg and Geffen) therefore would grow up to be evil..

PHARAOH
ok go
(pause)
wait... what??? get them!!!!

A bunch of evil Egyptians drown...

and they all lived happily ever after in the desert for 40 years

END

(do I get the job??)

Ralph Fiennes is in The Prince of Egypt. Therefore, the film is badass...But still an untrue bible story.

I like it. It fit my view of the movie. Go Rod!!!

If you didn't know this was a movie based on a bible story before going in then what the fuck did you think it was going to be? Seriously?

I love the short scripts -- bravo!

I agree with aces high. And Just Letting you know bitch you know nothing of the bible and ovousley you dont understand y he yells let my people go. And also christains like me dont like what you just said about it!:( so watch what you say on the internet about the bible or God, cauz you cant inmagin how pissed off i get and if you keep doing it til get worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And also I care cause I totoly care about god cause its one of my all time favorite bible storys. So watch it.

I really hope that's how Christians spell words.

exucse me but thats how i spell words. no afence but it really makes me mad when i c stuff like that. and you dont realize that is wuz a realy L8 when you sent that coment. do feel afended but i talk that way alot Its my job and no 1 can fire me.

Seriously, a better explanation than "It's a Bible story" could have worked for a quickie. I mean, christ, you could have mentioned it was a musical at the very first song about whipping and said fuck it at that.

Besides, some bible stories are as fantastically crazy and weird as any fantasy story; we've got burning trees, bread and wine as technically metaphors for cannibalism, and invisible men in the sky, wings optional. How different is this fantasy to German mythology, LOTR or Narnia; the only real difference is a bunch of sand.

Maybe if you treated this as a fantasy film, you wouldn't have written this as so short and offensive.

As it is though, it fails.

Course, I just found this site two fucking months ago, so what the fuck do I know?

I've noticed in other scripts that the audience's opinion doesn't reflect Rod's. Given the less than stellar success of this movie, I think his point was that because it was a Bible story, no one cared, generally speaking.

I hadn't thought of looking at it from the ironic perspective. Point taken.

Isn't "god" spelled with a capital G? You should try to remember the name of the entity you're worshiping.

Rod, first of all, to answer the "audience's" question, I do. Now, second of all, to those of us professing to be christians... I understand that this might be a bit upsetting, but honestly... What kind of witness are we being if we just flare and curse and flame them back? Just a few things to think about.

Other than this one, I like what you've written thus far Rod, please keep it up. :)

MOSES

Let my people go!

PHARAOH

No.

(Pause)

Ok.

Whoever wrote these nasty, offending, sinful messages to this movie and to this story, may God have mercy on your souls. I hope that you come to realize that what you all have said is wrong. And those who support the Word of God, may your days be long and blessed. And another thing to those people against this story and are making fun of it, WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I meant soap

I already washed my mouth out with tomato soup, is that alright?

It's totally a disaster here.I see no christ spirit.

Look, I'm not Christian (though I used to be, so I know the stories pretty well) and I still enjoyed this movie. I like musicals in general and seriously, the stories in the Bible, to me, are just another form of mythology. Mythos are interesting to read and see renditions of. So there's really no point to all this self-righteousness. What you believe, I'm sure, is important to you, just as what I believe is important to me, but trying to force it on others is wrong. Somehow, I doubt that the Judeo-Christian-Islamic god would want worshipers who did not come to him of their own accord.

I'm begining to think all christians are idiots not one of these supposed christians spelled a SINGLE word right wth??? I know this is the internet but REALLY? As to the script how was it insulting you "christians" tend to forget that God gave us all free will and the united states gave us the freedom of speech so stop flaming the guy because of what he wrote

tough guy

You are a terrible Christian.

This was very offensive. Honestly it turned me off from reading anymore of your scripts.

"And also christains like me dont like what you just said about it!"
So forgive him.

I thought they had to spell it "G_d" or "G-d" because they thought even typing the name was blasphemy or something... maybe I've spent too much time on fstdt.net

Jesus, did I write THAT? What the hell was I thinking then?

HWBREWS FUCXED UP

I MEANT HEBREWS

Judaism and Christianity aren't the same thing.

where is the script in this?

I am a Christian and I would really appreciate it if you respected other beliefs. God is a GREAT God and you may not believe so but others do and it is very offensive to those who do. God loves you, he died for, and he wants you to love him to. It may sound like a bunch of nonsense but it's not. I hope someday you realize that because He is coming soon and you should be prepared.

It's a parody. It's supposed to be funny. I'm a Christian too, but I realize that we are not any less culpable to be made fun of than anyone else.

Ok, Im actually look for the legit script for this movie. BUT THANKS BECAUSE THIS FUCKING HELPED YOU ASSHOLE.

See, this is why people make fun of Christians. And the worst part is that dear Mick even ACKNOWLEDGES that it sounds like "a bunch of nonsense," but he totally ignores this and goes on to say "but really it isn't you guys, even though it SEEMS like it, even to someone who actually believes in it all." It's sad. Fred is fine, though.

Wow Rod, one of the few Scripts I HATED! Thanx! (Not)

what in the world makes people hate God so much when He did everything for us He created us He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to fie on the cross for sinners like you and me na he loves us no matter what but one day youll know and one day youll all regret it because one day every knee shall bow and evry tounge will confess that He i is the Lord our God and one day youll all reap what youve sewn!

well it only sounds like nonsence to people who doesnt understand it and to those who just dont want to feel judged because theyre haveing so much fun living in there own sin but one day youll all see and ps. that doesnt give anyone a right to make fun of christians or anyone else for that matter because only He who rulith the worl and everything in it can judge

But that doesnt give any one thi right because not only are they making fun of us but they are making fun of our God

Haha, take a look at the Christ-humper here. His rant's so cute!

Who would've thought that so few words would piss so many people off. What are these people expecting? IT'S A FRIGGIN' COMEDY SITE!!!! Bible nuts have no sense of humor. Good job Rod. Funniest comment section I've read all day.

Really love how not one of them bats an eyelid at the *actual* "left-wing bigot" (GGBone) and his blatant Anti-Semitism.  Yep, great set of priorities there.

I do. Very much, actually.

Clue was in the title: "The VERY Abridged Script".