Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation: The Abridged Script
FADE IN:
EXT. SHAOLIN TEMPLE
ROBIN SHOU
Well, that’s over with! What a relief! Wait a minute, who are you people?
JAMES REMAR
I’m Rayden.
SANDRA HESS
No you’re not.
ROBIN SHOU
Who…?
SANDRA HESS
Sonya. New cast. Never mind.
ROBIN SHOU
Odd. The last movie made over $100 million. Why would most of the cast bail on the sequel?
Suddenly this question is answered.
BRIAN THOMPSON
Muwahahaha!! Through a loophole in the tournament rules, I’m taking over your world! Now, meet my menacing underlings!
MUSETTA VANDER
Sindel!
DERON MCBEE
Motaro!
MARJEAN HOLDEN
Sheeva!
Most of the AUDIENCE, thinking they’ve accidentally walked into a POWER RANGERS movie, leaves.
TALISA SOTO
Hurry. You must go find NightWolf.
ROBIN SHOU
Talisa? You’re in this piece of shit too?
TALISA SOTO
Here, follow me on these American Gladiator ball things that were obviously not created with toys in mind.
He does. After a while, SCORPION and SUB-ZERO show up. Again. They FIGHT. Although CHEESY beyond the expected limits of human comprehension, it looks COOL.
Meanwhile…
INT. SHAO KAHN’S THRONE ROOM
BRIAN THOMPSON
Sindel, Motaro, Sheeva, Rain, Ermac…I’ve called you all here for a reason. Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
PETER RAUCH
Alright, I admit, this line wasn’t in the movie. But there’s a line coming up that really WAS in the movie, and it’s actually stupider than this one.
BRIAN THOMPSON
Kill the earth warriors.
EXT. SOME DESERT
ROBIN SHOU
Wow. It’s, like…a desert.
LITEFOOT, an American Indian actor whose name people are going to think I’m making up, appears and says a whole bunch of shit too stupid even to parody.
MORTAL KOMBAT FANS IN AUDIENCE
This is obscene.
Suddenly, it’s snowing! And IRINA PANTAEVA shows up! In a bikini!
MORTAL KOMBAT FANS IN AUDIENCE
Well, I guess I could stay for a few more minutes.
A whole bunch of shit happens. Over the next ten minutes, 29 characters from the game SHOW UP for no apparent reason, then DIE. Meanwhile, RAY PARK does all sorts of cool shit, but no one notices because he’s not DARTH MAUL yet.
JAMES REMAR
There’s something I need to tell you.
ROBIN SHOU
Can we go back to the stunt Rayden? I like him much better. At least he can fight.
JAMES REMAR
Shao Kahn is my brother.
The rest of the conversation is drowned out as the few remaining Mortal Kombat fans riot and burn the theater to the ground.
END
Worst movie ever!
June 16th, 2007 at 10:57 amworst movie, best script
June 22nd, 2007 at 1:12 pmSeriously. This script is beautiful. This guy ought to come back and write more.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:42 pmDoubtful; Rod hasn’t accepted contributions in a long time. I actually once wrote an abridged script for Contact because we had to emulate a writer for English class and I chose Rod. He never posted it though. It’s ok though, it probably sucked (this was a long time ago.)
November 27th, 2007 at 5:45 pmWeibe was actually one of the better contributors (sorry Billy, I don’t even remember the script you sent).. but I no longer have his contact info.
I’ve been thinking about opening the site back up to contributions, but I haven’t figured out how to do it just yet.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:30 am