License To Wed: The Abridged Script
By: Rod Hilton on Oct 30th, 2007 | Movie Rating: 
Unable to smirk at the camera, John Krasinski completely freezes and soils himself.
FADE IN:
EXT. CHICAGO
MEET THE PARENTS happens, but with a PRIEST.
END
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B’dum, CHING! Thanks folks, Rod will be here all weekend. Tip your waitresses.
October 30th, 2007 at 4:39 amOne of the best abridged scripts on here.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:30 amThat’s about what I suspected. I just can’t bring myself to watch Robin Williams’ schtick any more.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:49 amI haven’t seen the film, only the previews, but let me guess how it went:
The guy and the chick want to get married, but Robin Williams won’t allow them to unless they pass his series of unreasonable and comical tests that involve slapstick jokes, people almost dying, getting splashed with paint, Robin Williams yelling, blah blah blah. The couple fails miserably at all of them, but at the very end the guy somehow accidentally proves his undying love for his fiance and Robin Williams is touched and allows them to get married. The end.
How close was I?
October 30th, 2007 at 7:42 amThat’s hilarious. I brought up the page, and, without looking at it, decided that I didn’t have enough time to read it before I had to drive to school. I come back, read it, get the joke, and then get the joke on me.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:04 amRod;
That was the best minimalist thing you’ve put up since “8 Mile”! Absolutely great!
October 30th, 2007 at 8:25 amLindsey:
It’s worse. Mandy Moore’s character is a big fan of the priest, so they only fail the tasks because the guy is singled-out by the priest (just like Meet the Parents).
Throughout all of this, you grow you despise Mandy Moore’s character for being such an obnoxious bitch and failing to understand Ben. When, at the end, they wind up splitting up because of the huge rift now between them, you’re actually happy that Ben got out of an obviously doomed relationship.
Then he decides he still loves her, apologizes for not being more understanding, and they get married, because this was all part of Robin Williams’ big plan (which apparently included that Mandy Moore wouldn’t be able to get married in the church she wanted since she was a little girl).
October 30th, 2007 at 8:42 amGotta leave enough room for Jesus, after all.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:27 amThat also sounds suspiciously like Anger Management.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:31 amYou forgot to mention that License was SO MUCH WORSE than Meet the Parents. I am sorry to say that I did see this piece of shit and I almost walked out of the theater. I was on the verge of yelling at the screen. Probably would have been more entertaining for everyone in there with me if I had. I knew it would suck a lot, but not THIS much.
October 31st, 2007 at 4:18 amOh man. The picture caption is completely priceles. Hahahaha that’s like… ALL he does in The Office.
Sorry ladies, just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean he’s good at his job.
November 4th, 2007 at 12:39 pmYou could use this to do an abridged script for “The Patriot”.
BRAVEHEART happens in 18th-century America.
END
November 7th, 2007 at 9:46 amWell that was crap.
December 1st, 2007 at 7:05 amHow about the abridged script for ‘No reservations’:
‘Raising Helen repeats itself in a restaurant’
January 11th, 2008 at 11:27 amI think the script for Elizabeth is Rod’s best one-liner
January 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm