The Lake House: The Abridged Script

By Rod | Jun 18th, 2006 | 6 Comments | Movie: This entry has a rating of 1.5

FADE IN:

INT. THE LAKE HOUSE

SANDRA BULLOCK moves out of a HIDEOUS LAKE HOUSE and leaves a letter for the next tenant. KEANU REEVES, 2 years in the past, gets the letter.

KEANU REEVES

(writing back)

Whoa. I think we’re in the middle of the movie Frequency, except with a mailbox instead of a radio.

SANDRA BULLOCK

You’re living in 2004? Quick, tell me who you’re going to vote for.

KEANU REEVES

Bush.

SANDRA BULLOCK

He winds up getting a blowjob from an intern, tell your friends.

They fall in love with each other through time. KEANU REEVES replaces the mailbox with one large enough for him to fit inside, ending the movie.

END

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Comments »

  1. 1
    Smater than all Says:

    Yeah, but did this movie have asinine blather about string theory in the beginning in order to justify doing whatever it wants.

    September 23rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
  2. 2
    Azazel Says:

    KEANU REEVES
    Future lady, tell me which companies to invest my stock, which team to bet on, so that in Two years time I get fucking rich, and can finally have a plastic surgery to get rid of my stoney expressionless face and in case we meet, we can ensure we are financially well off.

    SANDRA BULLOCK
    No that will destroy the Space Time Continuum now plant a young tree outside my building so that I can have a Tree to sit under.

    KEANU REEVES
    Bitch !

    SANDRA BULLOCK
    Can’t you understand we have made a remarkable discovery, This Mail box, which is also a a wormhole or time traveling portal that is the biggest discovery in the history of mankind and also of Postal Services.

    WRITERS
    Yada yada, just throw him a bone and get lovey-dovey.
    You can help the Mankind later by not acting in movies.

    KEANU REEVES
    Alright, now I am gonna shove my cock in the mail box, so make sure you bring your crotch close to it, that way we are gonna screw Physics and later wipe ourselves using the fabric of space and time.

    SANDRA BULLOCK
    Now you are talking.

    June 16th, 2009 at 1:24 am
  3. 3
    Cindy Says:

    OMG !!!
    Azazel hit the spot !! Bingo !
    You should team forces with this site…
    Cindy.

    July 11th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
  4. 4
    McMan Says:

    Nice one Azazel ! thanks for the chuckle.

    April 10th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
  5. 5
    MovieBuff Says:

    Excellent one Azazel. While this movie was slightly interesting, it also sucked.

    August 18th, 2010 at 7:00 am
  6. 6
    Ariel Says:

    LMAO That was basically what the movie was about. I would love to see you do a script.

    August 19th, 2010 at 4:47 pm

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