Elizabeth: The Abridged Script
FADE IN:
INT. CASTLE THING
JOSEPH FIENNES
Hey! Go see Shakespeare in Love! I’m the star in THAT period piece.
AUDIENCE
(silence)
…
CATE BLANCHETT
Is anyone out there? Hello? I have really good costumes, you know!
We hear CRICKET SOUNDS.
SHEKHAR KAPUR
What the hell is this? Hello? This is a really good movie! Is there even anyone in the audience?
AUDIENCE
…
CATE BLANCHETT
What the fucking hell? Well, someone had to see it! The academy, perhaps?
THE ACADEMY
Uh..yeah..we’re watching.
THE ACADEMY quietly sneaks out to see Shakespeare in Love.
SHEKHAR KAPUR
Fuck! Damn it all!
END




Yes, Rod, you got it. This WAS better than Shakespeare In Love, but SiL was more easily accessible – hence why it won the Oscar.
September 8th, 2007 at 12:33 pmat least Shakespeare in love bothered to make up some story. this thing was just a collection of loosely related images. which i guess makes it ‘artistic’ or whatever.
August 16th, 2008 at 2:22 pmSelena,
There generally isn’t a whole lot of need to “make up some story” in an Historical film…
August 24th, 2008 at 4:05 amLMAO!!!!!
March 1st, 2009 at 9:15 amAnd yet they did anyway . . .
November 24th, 2009 at 7:07 pmFreaking awesome!
December 9th, 2009 at 11:51 am"Our marital troubles are solved, at the mere price of hundreds of lives!"
Priceless.
You, sir, are awesome.
December 11th, 2009 at 1:41 amHey the marriage analogy lasted longer than that! They drove a minivan till the end! With DOUBLE sliding doors!!!!
January 21st, 2010 at 8:53 pmIsn’t it odd? Rod gives this movie a horrible “no one will EVER watch this film” review, nd then hands it 4.5 stars?
April 20th, 2010 at 7:26 am4 1/2 stars? really? for this vapid little film? while gladiator and american psycho got 3 1/2? um- okay.
June 10th, 2010 at 7:27 amRod didn't give it a horrible review. Rod pointed out that it's an excellent movie that nobody saw, because people tend to go for crap like "Shakespeare In Love" and "Titanic".
July 15th, 2010 at 6:49 pm