The Very Abridged Script
INT. CASTLE THING
Hey! Go see Shakespeare in Love! I'm the star in THAT period piece.
Is anyone out there? Hello? I have really good costumes!
We hear CRICKET SOUNDS.
What the hell is this? Hello? This is a really good movie! Is there even anyone in the audience?
What the fucking hell? Well, someone had to see it! The Academy, perhaps?
Uh... yeah... we're watching.
THE ACADEMY quietly sneaks out to see SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE.
Fuck! Damn it all!