FADE IN:

INT. AN OFFICE

GIOVANNI RIBISI

I am a stockbroker. What the hell is wrong with my mouth?

(snore)

BEN AFFLECK

Sell fucking stock. There, I was in the movie, give me my check.

GIOVANNI RIBISI

I need help getting rich quickly.

VIN DIESEL

I will help you. Do what I say and you’ll sell some of our fake stock.

GIOVANNI RIBISI

Fake?

VIN DIESEL

Er, shit. Ask any questions and I will beat the shit out of you with my muscles, which do not belong on a stock broker. Actually, my very stature is pretty inappropriate.

DIRECTOR BEN YOUNGER

Oh yeah? Check this out…

RAP MUSIC starts and doesn’t end until the movie does.

STOCKBROKA

Alwayz be closin, nigga.

The STOCKBROKAS begin watching WALL STREET the movie for a while. The audience doesn’t notice, since BOILER ROOM is identical to WALL STREET except with YOUTH and APPROPRIATE RAP MUSIC.

GIOVANNI RIBISI

These stocks aren’t real.

He is ARRESTED. He then rats on the other STOCKBROKA MOFOS in order to save his dad’s career.

GIOVANNI RIBISI

See, I have dropped my greedy leanings and am now looking out for family. I have matured!

RON RIFKIN

Didn’t you only save me in order to save your relationship with me? Isn’t that still greedy, just without money?

GIOVANNI RIBISI

Shut up, there’s nothing wrong with putting a shitload of probably- innocent people out of their jobs in order to save my relationship with my dad. I’ll tell you why. Aiua Waoa Laeata Ouaa.

RON RIFKIN

What the fuck is wrong with your mouth?

END