"Sigh... not even my favourite green-ribbed tit-mugs can cheer me up."


"Sigh... not even my favourite green-ribbed tit-mugs can cheer me up."
This script is a contribution from a hopeful author. Please rate the script at the bottom and leave constructive feedback, it's extremely valuable.

ANTZ

The Abridged Script

FADE IN:

INT: OFFICE AT DREAMWORKS SKG

JEFF KATZENBERG

That damn Michael Eisner! He should've put me in charge of Disney! I'll show him! Quick, steal the plotlines of his next movies. And get them into the theaters first, so we can steal all his box office!

DREAMWORKS YES MAN

(After licking Katzenberg's shoe)

Great idea, sir! We'll write our own movie about a giant meteor that slams into the Earth! And I know just who should star in it...Tea Leoni!

JEFF KATZENBERG

Who? Never mind, as long as it's FIRST. But even more important, we have to have our own computer-animated movie about insects! It doesn't have to look good, it just has to BE FIRST!

DREAMWORKS YES MAN

I know who to get for that!

INT: SOME BROWN PLACE UNDERGROUND

We see some brown place underground, because the movie is about ANTS and they live in the DIRT and the whole movie is going to look BROWN. Because it's ANIMATED it appeals to KIDS, so the main character is voiced by an actor with a reputation as a CHILD MOLESTER.

BROWN WOODY ALLEN

I feel lost in a giant world of workers that are just like me!

This is supposed to be FUNNY and SOPHISTICATED because of the similarities between an ANT COLONY and THE PLACE DILBERT WORKS IN. Fortunately, there is no way anyone else could be just like Woody Allen.

BROWN SYLVESTER STALLONE

Hey little dweeb, why don't you swap places with me in the Army? Then you can go on an adventure, rescue the whole colony and have SHARON STONE.

BROWN SHARON STONE

First Sphere and now this. I've gotta find a movie I can be naked in. Also, there is NO WAY I would ever let Woody Allen touch me in real life. Thank god this is animated.

The rest of the movie is a totally derivative story drawn from many old live-action movies and animated in a totally unremarkable way, which makes you wonder why they did this movie in the first place. Oh yeah, Woody Allen ends up saving the colony and getting Sharon Stone.

SIX MONTHS AFTER A BUG'S LIFE OPENED...

INT: DISNEY OFFICE

GHOST OF WALT DISNEY

See, Mikey, what did I tell you? You let Jeffy run whining to Stevie Spielberg and he made his own movie about bugs. Ours looked better and made more money.

MICHAEL EISENBERG

Gosh, Uncle Walt, you're right again.

GHOST OF WALT DISNEY

Now, here's what I want to do with the New Tomorrowland...

END

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